How to Increase Self-Esteem?

[-Asphyxia-]

I literally have none, or am very close to having none. I pretty much hate myself and feel like doing nice things for myself is selfish, self-absorbed, and I constantly fear that I would come off as arrogant if I even had a shred of self-esteem...(I mean, seriously. I already get perceived as intimidating and probably a little snooty since I'm introverted and pretty shy unless I know and am comfortable around you.)

Any ideas? Positive affirmations seem pretty cheesy to me, but I would appreciate any suggestions. If you don't have any and can relate/want to share, that's okay too.

Thanks in advance.

[Sketchy]

I can relate. My self esteem is pretty low. I don't know how to be confident in myself.
What I do find helps is doing small things to boost my mood, focusing on something I enjoy and good at, or pampering myself. It only makes a small difference but it's worth a try. I bet you have many good qualities and things you are good at.

[joebellenotarte]

it's incredibly normal to feel like we aren't good enough; but it's never okay.

what i do to increase my self esteem is to focus more on what i have rather than what i don't have; that way, you begin to become more grateful for what you already own whether it is a talent or simply having a lovely friends and family. we are so blessed to be here at this moment.
we spend so much time worrying about what we don't have when we should really cherish the moments where we have almost everything we have in ourselves. if we hope to become more clever, it isn't the case that you're not smart- you have the intelligence however it takes time and effort to really work hard for that.
we have everything we have in us; we just have to learn how to use them.
life is a challenge but if we take it into smaller steps, the climb doesn't seem to bad.

[tiptoes]

I struggle with self esteem too and could relate to a lot of your post especially the fear of coming across as arrogant or self absorb. One thing I find helpful is to try to think of neutral views of things I have done it feels a bit more achieveable than being positive!

I also had some self-compassion based CBT which helped, once that I was more compassionate towards myself my self esteem was boosted a little bit.

I find physical achievements are better for my esteem than more abstract these can be things like managing to go for a walk with friends or doing some weeding in the garden or baking a cake. Again I try to go with neutralish thoughts.

[Nymphadora Tonks]

Doing nice things for yourself is also nurturing your responsible self as you're providing balance, so more likely overall to be productive and not stagnate. That's one way I tell myself thats helped somewhat deflate the worry of being arrogant. It reframes it so instead I'm being practical and thinking of the bigger picture of how that action helps me in my overall functioning, everyone needs and deserves to recharge and rest. It's hard and energy sapping living life in itself, fighting against your own self I find would be just like a double kick in the teeth. Like tiptoes said, I find (continually if needed until it starts to stick and become habit) neutralising and focusing being compassionate towards your self helpful. You are your own best advocate (ergo compassion), adopting this attitude counters feeling like my own worst enemy. I also tell myself that doing nice things has a knock on effect in all areas of my life so helps me try to be the best version of me I can be, which I have a duty and responsibility to be (in a work sense). Interacting with others with more self esteem is enjoyable for both you and them I find because the worry has melted away and just pure connection and interaction can happen more smoothly with more flow :)

One last thought, you deserve to occupy as much space as every other person in that room/environment. Don't let your brain bully you into thinking you don't