My Head is spinning with negative, hypothetical, Insecure, Anxious Thoughts , I REALLY need it to STFU , I took a Diaz but it's not had time to kick in yet .
Hush , Please Hush . . . .
I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones
It's okay , they know me here .
Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)
''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"
I've done it again. I let my pride allow me to fall into this strange place of mixed emotions, insomnia and whispers.
If events and responsibilities would allow, I'd stay like this. Unhinged.
But I have reason to force myself to go back to the meds.
Hopefully I can hang on to it for just a while longer.
I'm not quite down. Nor am I in that heady irresistible state of buoyancy. I dislike this. Wanting to hurt myself, followed by sense of energy, to despair, to restless vacancy trying to figure out who won't bloody shut up.
I needed to write this. To pretend it isn't just me.
Too much pressure in my head.thats all its ever been. Make it stop.
...I try to outsmart him, but somehow he knows,
Wherever I am, that f***ing dog goes... - Dog, Andy Bull
No matter how bad things get, the true test is how we choose to respond to the pain we suffer, or inflict. - Amenadiel, Lucifer
Why is the path unclear,
When we know hope is near
Understand we'll go hand in hand, but we'll walk alone in fear
~~Margo is my penguin 🐧!!! ~~
I'm struggling a bit right now. Every doctor my middle child sees my youngest is seeing now too. So instead of 9 specialists/therapists and then the pediatrician it's now all that times 2. 20 appointments to keep track of. Never mind my oldest who has 4 people of his own. I'm struggling to do it all. It's just too much but I don't have a choice but to just deal with it and keep going. *sigh*
Sometimes when I say "I'm okay," I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say "I know you're not."
Really not feeling good at the moment. Very strong urges to attack myself. I have no idea why I'm even alive on this earth any more.
Before the darkness completely takes me over *safe hugs* to anyone who needs (or wants) them.
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
I'm struggling. My to do list is overwhelming. My emotions are all over the place. I've not been myself all week. I've just wanted to sleep and not do much of anything.
Sometimes when I say "I'm okay," I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say "I know you're not."
S'happennin' guys?
Just checking in, it's been a while.
I've just been given a diagnosis of BPD and still just trying to process that along with work stress.
It's horrible having a diagnosis. I mean I obviously wanted to know what was going on but now I know it's like this inside that won't go away. I mean you can't change your personality right? It can't get better.
