gender, body issues & mental health

[mauscee]

to start with: i am dfab (born 'female') and now identify as agender, though i tend to sway more towards masculine things than feminine.

the main focus of my problems lately is that i've been feeling a disconnect with my appearance and how i 'should' look or just how i feel lately. it's hard to explain. i'm used to disliking my chest (i have fairly large breasts which if i had my way i would not have at all) but i've been having more problems with other parts of my appearance now. my hair has become a big issue, i have trouble looking at my own face... things like that.

i'm not sure if anyone else has had even anything similar to my experience here with dysphoric feelings but it's getting me down a lot lately. i got into a groove of being positive about myself for a while but now i've driven that high feeling straight into a ditch. it's making me more anxious, i've been falling back into old bad habits for stress, the fact that i wont really look at myself and i hate being naked means that i don't care well for myself.

if anyone has advice on this, or even just on being a bit more body-positive, it would be appreciated.

[ShootingForTheStars]

I have very similar feelings. I'm unsure if I'm genderfluid, agender or cisfemale and just making a big deal out of nothing but I am dysphoric/self conscious about my chest and use a sports bra as a binder (as I can't get a real one due the fact no-one knows) and would love to cut my hair short.
If you are able to, could you shop for clothes that you want rather than what others think you should wear? For example, to make myself feel a little more masculine, I wear clothes from the 'mens' section. I know this can be hard for some people to do though if you're not allowed to or are not in a situation where it would be okay for you to do so :/
If you are unable to do that than just remember that no matter how you look, what your appearance is like etc., you are no less of a person <3 If you are agender than you are agender and no one can tell you different.
Sorry my advice is crappy but just know your not alone. I recommend empty closets LGBT forum for some more advice <3 x

[mauscee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShootingForTheStars

I have very similar feelings. I'm unsure if I'm genderfluid, agender or cisfemale and just making a big deal out of nothing but I am dysphoric/self conscious about my chest and use a sports bra as a binder (as I can't get a real one due the fact no-one knows) and would love to cut my hair short.
If you are able to, could you shop for clothes that you want rather than what others think you should wear? For example, to make myself feel a little more masculine, I wear clothes from the 'mens' section. I know this can be hard for some people to do though if you're not allowed to or are not in a situation where it would be okay for you to do so :/
If you are unable to do that than just remember that no matter how you look, what your appearance is like etc., you are no less of a person <3 If you are agender than you are agender and no one can tell you different.
Sorry my advice is crappy but just know your not alone. I recommend empty closets LGBT forum for some more advice <3 x

thank you for your response! i actually have a lot of masc-type clothes as well, alongside the sports-bra thing too. binders aren't really practical for me, not that i've ever owned one, because i have a fairly active job and i think i'd get nervous about wearing it too.
personally my favourite place to buy mens clothes from is charity shirts, because they never seem to question what you're buying anything for there.

i tend to call myself agender because i don't have a word necessarily for what i am but it fits well enough? i've flipped between a number of words before though and an ever changing nature of identity is part of the experience i think.

do you have a link to the thread at all? i didn't look very hard when i was making this post of any lgbt type spaces and i probably should have done. but thank you so much for your response honestly.

[ShootingForTheStars]

You are very welcome :) That's great! I always find dressing more masculine makes me feel a little better. Ah okay, well always stick to what your comfortable with :)
Totally agree! Plus it goes to a good cause so everyone's happy!

I can totally relate to that. I'm forever flipping between labels! Another thing I've found quite helpful to help me find what I'm comfortable with is asking my friend to address me with a more gender neutral name and gender neutral pronouns. I only have 1 friend (online) that knows about my gender and he's totally cool with it. Again, I don't know how possible that is for you but a lot of people suggested this to me when I was first questioning. It's also okay to change your preferred pronouns and name multiple times so don't worry about that :)
Yeah sure: http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/index.php
That's okay, glad I could help! :) x

[Mothzi]

Hey, I know the feeling. (trans guy here) It might be worth it to looking into seeing a therapist that specializes in this stuff if you're not already. Other than that, it's good to have other people to talk to who can relate to your feelings. Good luck, things will be alright.