Hey Sorry this is so long

[helene9998]

I'm new to this site, my counselor suggested that it might help. So, here goes. For most of my life, my home life has been really rocky. My parents were either arguing or not talking, and for most of my life, I dealt with what was going on fairly well. It wasn't until my sophomore year of high school that I finally opened up to a teacher about what was going on at home. We became close through my revelations and this is why I told her I had desires to self harm. These feelings began during the summer between my sophomore and junior years in high school, but I am not sure what the catalyst was. When I told this teacher, and subsequently my guidance counselor who told my mom, I had no thought that I would actually begin to cut. I am not sure what led to making the first cut, but one night while pressing the object I would use if I was going to self harm, I cut for the first time. After cutting for a few weeks, and telling a confidante at my church, I had to tell my mom. She was really upset, but she said I would get help. Throughout my sessions with my counselor, I still was cutting because it was a coping mechanism. My counselor told me that only I could stop myself from cutting which is why I'm writing this: I wat help to stop harming myself.

[Isoverity]

Hiya

I would guess your home life tempted you to resent your parents. That creates a deadly kind of guilt and anxiety - which calls for ways to compensate for the pain, release stress etc. A low self-image will also develop. Cutting is an attempt at coping for suppressed feelings etc. Struggling with the cutting is secondary to getting to the root cause. That will be more emotional. No matter what people did to upset you, you want to forgive them and let bad feelings go - for your own sake as well as family. Parents were once kids with a tear in their eye from other mean people. We tend to pass things down. When you get your emotions settled bad habits of all kinds often just go away in time. Don't struggle too hard since that makes things worse. I tell people that if they really want to break a habit stop trying too hard lol.