Jodie, what you went through is awful. Something no one should ever have to go through. I'm so, so sorry that you're struggling.
I often think what happened to me wasn't so bad, wasn't really abuse. That i am making a fuss over nothing. It's an awful feeling.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare,
As any she belied with false compare.
Yes it was bad and not your fault Jodie . I can so relate to what you are saying though. I never feel what I went through was bad enough. Thinking of you. Here if you need anything xx
*huggles to everuone* I can also relate Jodie. Sometimes I don't think a nything happened at all. But you didn't imagine anything and what you went through was awful. Your emotions are totally valid *higs*
I'm really struggling being home in the same house and took it all happened. It's the first Christmas since he moved back. I'm
Not coping at all. I can't stop flashbacks and I think he's here with me.
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?
It was actually a pretty good christmas for me. A big part of that was, my brother wasn't there
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Discussion of abuse
he was the one who physically and sexually abused me when we were younger and we still don't have a healthy relationship. He treats me like dirt sometimes, talks down to me, insults me, threatens me.
When he was there, we managed to have one good day, hung out as a family. I still found it hard to deal with, was on edge.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare,
As any she belied with false compare.
I feel so numb and dead. The images play in my head but I feel nothing just exhausted. Shouldn't I feel something? I want to cut to feel something anything. Petrichior that sounds so hard. How is everyone now? Xx
Petrichor I am glad that your Christmas went well. That's fabulous!
I know that too exhausted to feel things mood well! Self harming will probably only bring out negative feelings, so try to remember that if logic works for you. Be easy on yourself!
Sending positive vibes to everybody but replying on my phone so difficult to read all posts. Replied to most recent :)
I'm struggling a lot with memories this evening.
It nearly came up in therapy and I couldn't talk about it.
I wish I could speak about it but it's like I trip up on the thoughts and no words come out.
I'm struggling a lot with memories this evening.
It nearly came up in therapy and I couldn't talk about it.
I wish I could speak about it but it's like I trip up on the thoughts and no words come out.
I find it very difficult to discuss out loud too. It is all very new to me still, but I find I struggle with finding words that don't sound graphic, silly or embarassing. I've not said much out loud, but when I have, it hasn't been as bad as I thought that it would be. It takes so much energy and bravery and whatnot, but I'm finding the more I talk about it, the less dramatic the topic is for me. Still nowhere near talking without being vague, but it seems to be getting easier. I started by writing it all down. You could try that? Until then, specific details had only been inside my head.
I hope that you can look after and be kind to yourself tonight!
Sorry you're struggling with memories J *gentle hugs* are you able to speak to your wife about how much you're struggling? Perhaps she could help you stay present and distract you from the memories. Have you found anything which particularly helps?
Does it help to write things down to show your therapist? Or you could also try talking about it as though it is happening to someone else, I personally struggles with this, but it might be helpful to refer to you as a different random person, so this happened to Bob etc. It also might help to replace certain words, there are words that I cannot use, so I replace them with others that people understand. I haven't managed to speak about anything in detail, but while being vague, using different words really helps.
Sending you lots of love and thinking of you lovely x
Hope everyone else is also doing okay <3
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?
I'm struggling a lot with memories this evening.
It nearly came up in therapy and I couldn't talk about it.
I wish I could speak about it but it's like i trip up on the thoughts and no words come out.
I'm really sorry to hear that. I would agree with what's been said, that maybe writing things down could help. But also, if you are not yet ready to talk, rember that you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. You can always come back to it at a later date.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare,
As any she belied with false compare.
I find it very difficult to discuss out loud too. It is all very new to me still, but I find I struggle with finding words that don't sound graphic, silly or embarassing. I've not said much out loud, but when I have, it hasn't been as bad as I thought that it would be. It takes so much energy and bravery and whatnot, but I'm finding the more I talk about it, the less dramatic the topic is for me. Still nowhere near talking without being vague, but it seems to be getting easier.
Majorly pleased to read this. Smash it, Queen.
Hope everyone had an easy a new year as they deserved.
Oh god I want to hear you say,
I want to hear you say that you were wrong again
This is the first thing
I have understood:
Time is the echo of an axe
Within a wood.
I have****ed up my body doesn't feel like mine. I feel so invaded physically. I'm so ashamed I feel huge after Christmas exhausted from trying to meet food expectations and be happy . I have cut again it needs to stop. The images and sense of physical invasion is overwhelming. I'm sorry to babble
Hope everyone is ok. I'm struggling with my feelings thoughts and how my body is to myself :( still going through the mill to be honest, do you guys have any ideas how to relax? xx
Hold your breath and count to ten,
Fall apart and start again.
Sorry you're struggling so much Jessie, I have no useful advice but and sending *cuddles* maybe try some self soothing techniques to take care of your body?
Im really struggling with memories and flashbacks, everything feels so real, I can see him, feel him. I don't know how to get rid of him. I need to gain control for tomorrow, but I don't know if I can.
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?
I'm so sorry you are hurting Charmed I'm not much use I'm sorry. I start trauma work next week a second attempt and I'm terrified. I just feel my mind and body ache with it. Xx
I'm sorry to post again I feel utterly overwhelmed I am starting a second attempt at trauma work tomorrow. I feel terrified and destructive I need to destroy my body everything is out of control.
