Well done for managing Christmas! Any leave after so long IP is difficult, let alone Christmas Day. I think talking to staff is a good idea. Re taking medication- wouldn't they just have found you after you'd taken it?
I sleep a lot so I doubt they'd suspect anything if i ODd.
I spoke to a member of staff. We've agreed I should stay out of my room for now so I'm in the quiet room listening to music.
I'm feeling really unsafe and tearful. The staff haven't seen me tearful so they know something is really up.
I want to try and stay safe but I'm not sure I want to be safe. It's difficult. I thought I'd be better by now. I've been in hospital for 2 months. When am I going to get better?
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I tied ligatures then I cut. So I'm in a&e now.
I tried to fight them off but they were stronger than me.
Things really aren't good. I disclosed something that I shouldn't have and as a result things have just got really bad.
I don't know what to do. I want to run away but I can't because I don't have my bag with me so I'd be running away with no money and in my pajamas so I'd be picked up by police too quickly.
I need to sort my head out but I don't know where to start and I hate the staff for interfering even though I know it's their job to keep me safe but I don't want to be kept safe I just want to go home.
My mum said jasmine was asking for me yesterday and was worried because they didn't drop me off at my house.
My head is a mess. I'm really upset but I'm not sure if im upset at myself or what.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I can't talk about it here.
But it happened because a nurse was questioning things. I had no choice but to tell her.
I'm not going to run. It would be stupid. Not like I can physically run anyway because I can barely walk In these shoes because I have no laces.
I'm trying to keep calm but it'd difficult. I need to hold it together.
Hoping I won't be in a&e too much longer. I'm getting really agitated.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I'll try asking for prn if it gets bad again. I did have some last night. I'm not sure if it helped. I need to talk to the doctor about a different prn.
I'm not feeling good today. The spirits are back with a vengeance. I can't cope with them.
Thank you Katy xx
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Thanks Sophia.
I've spent all day in bed. I can't face being up and awake.
I feel really low.
I wish I could just end it. But they've taken that option away from me.
There's no point in me being here anymore.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Not so great. I've only just got up. I got a drink which is an achievement these days.
I'm so sick of all this. I'm fantasising about overdosing. It's all I can think about and I can't wait until I can do it.
The thoughts are getting worse. I've not been very good over the last couple of days. I'm just so tired and lethargic.
Why am I still feeling like this? It doesn't seem fair.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I'll talk to the doctor. I think ward round is tomorrow. I don't think much can be done. When they last increased my anti depressant I went into a mixed episode so the had to decrease it.
Thank you x
I had dinner and something to drink which is an improvement on yesterday. I'm trying to stay out of bed. Watching a movie at the moment. Trying my best to concentrate on it.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I've just sat & caught up on this thread & I've not really got much to add but I'm sorry things have been so tough. Try to keep working with the staff when you can & I hope things start to improve soon.
I might try and talk to a support worker in a bit. Once he comes off obs. I trust him. He's been through depression as well so he understands.
I have ward round tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about it.
I want to be discharged.
I know the staff know I'm not feeling good because they wouldn't let me light my cigarette by myself. And I wasn't making eye contact and I'm sleeping way more than normal.
It's like I was less depressed for a while but it's come back full force. At least before I could joke around with the staff and chat to people. I don't even want to talk to people now. Unfortunately it's unavoidable here.
I just want to be left alone.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
