Hi, I agree completely. This is a process...and it may take weeks, but it may take years...You are brave, you're dealing with it right away. It took me year and a half to even talk about it to anyone. I tried few weeks after, got scared and told half truth to 2 friends and then nothing to anyone else (basically started telling them the story, got scared and told them that I got away). Took me that year and a half to tell them the full story.
Talking about it is definitely necessary. Also I suggest a book called Ressurection after Rape(not sure if that was what happened to you, or SA, but if it's anywhere close to that that book is gold, really). It's sold online and on paper, but the author has also free download link officially on his webpage. He's therapist specialising on the topic, and he knows how important of a book it is. The book has a lot of research, a lot of quotes from people gone through the same and exercises. It's the hardest thing I've read, because every word was like it was talking about how I felt. I still haven't finished it, but what I did read was priceless.
As far as work goes, when I had to go to a job when I was really struglling, I basically indulged around the work time. "Recharged myself" in a way. Get up earlier, take care of yourself, to look in a way you like, have breakfast with food you love eating. Listen to music you like on the way there. It won't cure how you feel, but take it one day at a time. I usually did this, mentally preparing myself for the day, then took the day one thing at a time, all the time thinking about what was next. After work I did things I felt I needed- coffee with my best friend, wrapping myself in a blanket and watching TV, long walks. I did what I had to to do my job, because if I allowed myself to feel how I feel I was going to completely unravel and be unable to do my job. You need to be able to get through this and be upset, and express your feelings. Do what you have to to deal with your job, but...it's December, right? Do you have vacation days you can take? I suggest you deal with your job like I said, and schedule your therapy in the weekend may be(to have time for self-care around), and then take all vacation days you can, as soon as you can. If that's an option of course. Say it's a personal or family issue if need be. You don't have to go anywhere. Just take that time to get a headstart in getting better. Schedule some extra therapy sessions, spend some more days taking baths, and walks, and reading or drawing or doing whatever you feel like doing without feeling guilty. Write about how you feel. Talk about it. Consider this like an extended flu or something. A lot of it you will deal with over time, and you will be capable of dealing with it, and work and everything else, but especially at first, it's beneficial if you can take a break and concentrate only on getting better. PM me if you want to talk more, I'm around. xox
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