Hey everyone, I hope you guys are doing alright. Anyway, I've been wondering.. Does anyone else ever feel like you can't trust yourself anymore? It's hard to explain but it goes something like this. I feel as if I'm constantly lying to myself. I feel as if my feelings are invalid in a way and I have no reason to feel the way I do. I feel as if none of my feelings are genuine and real at all. It's like I may say that I feel this sort of way, but there's another part of me that tells me that I really don't and I'm just exaggerating everything. I feel as if my actions are not what I really what I intend to do, but I just act accordingly to make my feelings seem valid, to comfort myself and reassure myself that I'm not going insane. I feel as if I'm on a constant search for why I'm feeling the way I do. This has been making me start doubting everything about myself. If one moment I say that I'm down, another moment I could be doing anything to convince myself that I am not feeling down as I have no valid reason to feel such a way, leading to me deeming my feelings as invalid. Has anyone else felt this way before? Sometimes I can't help but think I'm going insane because I keep "rejecting" my feelings.. Don't really know how else to put it out there anymore...
I think this is a subtle case of denial.
I know it sounds stupid but honestly we all are trying to hide and make the feelings and emotions that are "not right" go away. It's kinda in all of us to be in denial about these things.
Quite often when I feel down i keep it to myself and thanks to years of doing that I started to lie to myself about how I am - kind of being in denial but it's the closest I can relate.
You're not going insane - I think it's just part of being human to feel like this, to think that the world isn't falling apart because of some feelings that are off.
Hope that things resolve for the better x
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I wasn’t strong enough
And you didn’t give enough
When I needed you
I needed you
I often feel this way. For me, I think it stems from not having any kind of emotional validation when I was younger. When I start having those thoughts, I try to challenge them with logic (asking myself what reason I would have for lying etc), which sometimes helps. There was also a skill that I learnt in DBT which was about working out the function of our emotions which might help - http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/emotion_function.html . The idea is that all emotions have a purpose, and are valid, so it might help with those thoughts.
I think I know what you mean. I say it like that because it seems glib to say 'I know exactly what you mean', as of course I don't. But if I've understood you correctly this sounds very familiar. I'm constantly second guessing things and looking for cues from other people, even people I don't know who just happen to be on the train platform with me or serving me in a shop or whatever. Even when I'm feeling good because I think 'maybe I did something well there', I'm always aware that I don't feel I can entirely trust my feelings and perceptions, and maybe I'm kidding myself. After all, if when I'm feeling terrible about myself I try to remember that "you're not that bad, it's because you've got a problem", well shouldn't that work both ways?
I don't know if any of that makes sense and I worry its not particularly useful either way. But I'm just pleased to hear that someone else (I think) has the same kinds of experiences, and maybe if so then in my cackhanded way I can help you feel that too.
Feelings lie - good ones and bad ones. Intuition, insight, perception etc are not emotion based (instinct is and many people mistake instinct for intuition). Of course people have emotions and they aren't all bad. The problem is when instead of you having emotions - emotions are having you. Your emotions should be an extension of you and not vice versa.
When there are too many emotions they lead to too many thoughts - which lead back to too many emotions and round and round and down and down. As a matter of fact, what many people often think of as "mental illness" is "emotional illness". Emotions pull you out of your core - extra thoughts and feelings fill the void - where they go round and round.
Of course you've noticed you have the same feeling/thoughts over and over. Those are legacy artifacts from being more overreactive than perceptive. The thing to really be aware of is false love that arises from real guilt. If people upset you a lot you can end up giving too much of yourself out of guilt. People sense that and then use you more.
I think this is a subtle case of denial.
I know it sounds stupid but honestly we all are trying to hide and make the feelings and emotions that are "not right" go away. It's kinda in all of us to be in denial about these things.
Quite often when I feel down i keep it to myself and thanks to years of doing that I started to lie to myself about how I am - kind of being in denial but it's the closest I can relate.
You're not going insane - I think it's just part of being human to feel like this, to think that the world isn't falling apart because of some feelings that are off.
Hope that things resolve for the better x
I guess it is indeed in all of us. Thank you for the reply!
I often feel this way. For me, I think it stems from not having any kind of emotional validation when I was younger. When I start having those thoughts, I try to challenge them with logic (asking myself what reason I would have for lying etc), which sometimes helps. There was also a skill that I learnt in DBT which was about working out the function of our emotions which might help - http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/emotion_function.html . The idea is that all emotions have a purpose, and are valid, so it might help with those thoughts.
Alright, I'll check out the link. Thanks for replying!
I think I know what you mean. I say it like that because it seems glib to say 'I know exactly what you mean', as of course I don't. But if I've understood you correctly this sounds very familiar. I'm constantly second guessing things and looking for cues from other people, even people I don't know who just happen to be on the train platform with me or serving me in a shop or whatever. Even when I'm feeling good because I think 'maybe I did something well there', I'm always aware that I don't feel I can entirely trust my feelings and perceptions, and maybe I'm kidding myself. After all, if when I'm feeling terrible about myself I try to remember that "you're not that bad, it's because you've got a problem", well shouldn't that work both ways?
I don't know if any of that makes sense and I worry its not particularly useful either way. But I'm just pleased to hear that someone else (I think) has the same kinds of experiences, and maybe if so then in my cackhanded way I can help you feel that too.
Love x
You're right. I am constantly second guessing things and I don't entirely trust my feelings and perceptions. It's good to know that I'm not alone in this, but I hope you're doing just fine now. Thank you
