i HATE BPD!
I hate whats associated with it... being manipulative, attention seeking, overly dramatic, black and white thinking, playing games, forcing someones hand, testing boundaries, passive-aggressive..... i hate that this defines me.
that people in (MH) look at my diagnosis and no longer see me- that they see a list of symptoms and behavior thats stupid, annoying and problematic. i hate being treated like a child when all ( i thought) i was doing was asking for help. i hate that everything i said got twisted and i was treated like a naughty child.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : ;/ useless info.
Yes i probably should have gotten medically cleared first but i didn't because i honestly thought it didnt matter- that nothing could be done, and i probably shouldnt have said i hadn't gone and done that first but i tried.
i went down and tried to stop what was happening. i hate this. i hate bpd.
feel free to ignore/disregard or add your own reasons why you hate BPD.
The BRAVEST thing
I ever did was CONTINUING MY LIFE when I wanted to die.
i HATE BPD!
I hate whats associated with it... being manipulative, attention seeking, overly dramatic, black and white thinking, playing games, forcing someones hand, testing boundaries, passive-aggressive..... i hate that this defines me.
that people in (MH) look at my diagnosis and no longer see me- that they see a list of symptoms and behavior thats stupid, annoying and problematic. i hate being treated like a child when all ( i thought) i was doing was asking for help. i hate that everything i said got twisted and i was treated like a naughty child.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : ;/ useless info.
Yes i probably should have gotten medically cleared first but i didn't because i honestly thought it didnt matter- that nothing could be done, and i probably shouldnt have said i hadn't gone and done that first but i tried.
i went down and tried to stop what was happening. i hate this. i hate bpd.
feel free to ignore/disregard or add your own reasons why you hate BPD.
i hate that stuff too. and tbh, it describes me, but when i get in that borderline mindset, it all describes me. i just don't like to think of myself as manipulative and all those other things.
i hate that stuff too. and tbh, it describes me, but when i get in that borderline mindset, it all describes me. i just don't like to think of myself as manipulative and all those other things.
i know right- i have the same problem. like those are all really bad things and i cant really be like that can i? i though i was a nice, kind, friendly and caring person. but then i hit a 'borderline period and im all those things and thats all i and anyone else sees. and i hate that. i hate how it takes over me.
The BRAVEST thing
I ever did was CONTINUING MY LIFE when I wanted to die.
It doesn't change who you are. You are a kind, nice, friendly, caring person Merridith *hugs*
Sorry again this is long!...
I haven't been diagnosed with BPD. But I was seeing a therapist last year and in one session she said I had a fragmented personality and then she said that can also be called a personality disorder (although she doesn't like that term because it sounds harsh).
I immediately thought of borderline because I think I had looked it up in the past. And although I had remember once thinking I related to it I read up on it more recently and saw it in a more negative light. Manipulative, impulsive etc. And I had heard it wasn't so curable... So obviously I got all worried and said no way! But then she explained there were different types etc. After looking up the different types I thought I fitted maybe 75% of the avoidant personality disorder (which seems just like social anxiety disorder pretty much!) and maybe 30% or more at times of dependent personality disorder.
Anyway from my experiences on here mostly I've got the feeling that borderline gets diagnosed by far the most. And even just if you self harm? It did worry me (not that there would be any chance of more diagnoses because they don't care about other problems!) but it seems like it's a stigma. I really hope people in health care don't treat people badly who have this label but it seems it might sometimes be the case =(. I think if you lovely people on this thread have been labelled with BPD then I would be just as fitting to be labelled with it too.
Thank you mark :)
and Katherine, its quite a common diagnosis and unfortunately is often diagnosed wrongly. For me- when i was first diagnosed i fitted into 8 out of the 9 criteria (it now has changed)... and with time ive changed a bit i think but often dont see it. Ive learnt mostly that its releraning how to live, interact, think and be an adult. its hard to explain.... the best possible cure is actually through learning how to manage myself and my life. Its possible that one day we wont have the same issues as we do now and its possible also to never progress any further. its up to us to push and ask for what we need. I often ask to late and anything done is useless because of the mindset ive gotten into but with time and encouragement i do come around. Its not necessarily a bad thing--- theres a image or something on google that lists all the positives of BPD- for me i like that im quite analytical and think in such black and white terms... im also really caring and sensitive. but like most things these can be negative as well and i have to somehow learn the balance. its hard, really hard but i think im getting there. I really just hate it when everyone (including me) see how far ive come and then i go and stuff all the 'image' up and become your cliche borderline. (((sorry if that was rambly)))))
Lily Rose: i dont know if ive talked to you much sorry. My brians a bit of a mess and im trying to content with deadlines for essays. Please forgive me if i forget to mention you or reply to a comment you've made. its nothing personal i promise.
I didnt get to make a blanket fort at home yesterday- flatmates werent too keen on the idea. I also had group thearpy today adn there was only 4 of use and 4 staff. Then i had to see my community nurse and psycharist--- neither were too pleased to see whats been going on lately :/ and now im at the library trying to write an essay on child abuse and its relation to income in new zealand- fun times.
The BRAVEST thing
I ever did was CONTINUING MY LIFE when I wanted to die.
Anyone else think BPD really belongs somewhere on the Bipolar spectrum or am I alone in thinking this? Reached this conclusion after a lot of research and personal reflection.
Thanks very much for your reply by the way Merridith, I really appreciate your personal insight =). I looked up what you were saying about the positives of BPD. There's a nice blog post about it here: http://kellyann-graceful-warrior.tum...sitives-of-bpd
I can strongly relate to a few of these. One thing that's been pointed out to me a lot, sometimes as a negative, is that I constantly ask questions! I'm just curious =P. Been said as negative when someone's complained I'm asking questions about something I'm not even interested in (football, boxing etc...). I think it's just the way I am though. Just got an unquenchable thirst to find things out. Hence being a researcher now!
I'd probably also agree with dependent, sympathetic, loyal, creative, maybe discipline, and definitely connection to nature. I'd like to think I was insightful but I'm not sure, also funny/sarcastic =P.
The traits I don't have (or really believe I don't have) I'd say are impulsiveness (far too the opposite of this, need to be more impulsive most of the time), being intensive, and being lively. I don't think I'm particularly engaging or interesting either. I don't feel like I have "strong emotions" but I know I do have responses that are too extreme like suddenly feeling really upset by what someone's said (and it was probably nothing).
Anyway sorry for the long post. That was a good dose of procrastination there!
thanks for that link Katherine. ive have a look over it and will defiantly go back and check it out another time properly.
you procrastinate to... im super good it also :) ive a 3500-4000 essay due tomorrow (friday) and im only half way through currently... its also nearing midnight so firday will be here soon.
i am tired, my eyes are tired... i also have a brain that really isnt cooperating with me and is wandering off which really isnt helpful.
ive two choices.. coffee (lots and strong) or meds and bed/sleep.
The BRAVEST thing
I ever did was CONTINUING MY LIFE when I wanted to die.
I had my Nose Corterised (sp?) Yesterday , It took 5 chemical sticks and was not a pleasant experience . My Left Nostril is now charred and really hurts and paracetemol isn't helping .Lets hope it stops the nose bleeds !
Hope you're all well :)
I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones
It's okay , they know me here .
Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)
''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"
