So sorry you feel like this. I never went through the whole process of reporting, but I have done a lot in the way of recovery.
You're going through a lot, so it's natural that your emotions are going a bit in overdrive. That's okay. However, the best you can do for yourself is just to do what will be healthiest for you, and that is very individual.
Venting as you're doing here is a good thing.
I would say keeping busy may be good, if you can do it. If you can, do work, read books, get a hobby, see people (but not talking about what is happening, rather having a good time)...I myself can't always "keep busy" when my mind is filled with tourboulent emotions, so do it if you can. Don't torture yourself if you can't.
Another option is to 'loose" yourself a little. Just let things be a little, take some pressure off yourself. Take some time to just be on your own, sleep, rest, walk, listen to music, cry if you feel like it. Sometimes the more control you try to exert over your life the worse you feel because your emotions want to surface and you're pushing them down. May be you do need to just let yourself feel how you feel for a while. Eat junk food if you feel like it. Watch movies if you feel like it. Have a drink. There are times in life when you can let yourself slide a little. Just keep it at a healthy level of it, if you get extremely depressed or feel you may harm yourself in any manner, call someone.
You have done what you can do in reporting and so on. I know it's hard not to know what will happen. You just have to accept that you don't know which way this will go. I know that it's scary not to know, and you might want to get prepared for every possible outcome, but you can't, and you're just torturing yourself. This may have worse effect on you than the actual outcome, the stress of it does amount up. If it really bothers you, you can try to break down what are the worst things that can happen as an outcome and figure out what you would do if that did happen. There are bad things in life in which the outcome is worst than what you can ever imagine...but for the most part, the fear is usually much bigger and harmful than the worst outcome. So if you can, my advice would be to see the outcome and then you will know how to deal with it- or will take the time to think about it.
I don't know the whole story, and also how old you are, so I am giving slightly more general advice. One thing I know though, for certain- whatever the outcome is., that is a lot of emotions, and a lot of stress to go through. So whatever the outcome is, make for yourself a "recovery kit" type of thing for when things are done.Just make a list of things to do that will help you mend yourself, and make sure around the outcome date, you leave time for whatever it is- taking vacation, talking to a trusted friend, taking a day to stay in pijamas and rest...whatever it is, work around your life, and what you have the option of doing (I know taking day off is hard in some situations) and do it. Make a list beforehand of the things that may be good for you to do, and prepare for that if possible (schedule the meeting with friend for the day after, or buy cinema tickets or something)- whether the outcome is good or bad, it's still stress and you will need something good to "recharge" after it's over. And when it is over, you may feel too tired or negative to organize or do anything, so prepare for that beforehand. Other than that, I would say keep as far away from thinking of the process as possible. PM me if you want to talk.
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