The characteristic features of borderline personality disorder are emotional dysregulation (basically extreme mood swings) and intense fear of abandonment. You didn't say much about either of those, so I'm not sure how well that describes you, but it's important to remember that personality disorders are extremes of normal personality features: most people have a little bit of those characteristics, and it's only considered pathological at the very extreme end of things. Also, a diagnosis of any personality disorder in adolescents is problematic because they just aren't old enough yet to be sure it's going to be a stable pattern over time. The general 'rule' is to not diagnose personality disorders in people under 18 (although with the exception of antisocial personality disorder, there's no official age requirement, and plenty of teens do get labeled with a PD diagnosis), and I'd be cautious about any PD diagnosis made before probably mid to late 20s. Borderline personality disorder is a particularly problematic diagnosis for adolescents and young adults since a lot of the symptoms are developmentally normal in adolescence, and so it's really hard to be sure that the 'symptoms' are really enough to be considered pathological and that the person isn't going to "grow out of it."
I believe you 100% that the symptoms you're experiencing are real, and significant, and that you absolutely do deserve treatment for them. I'd be reluctant to say you have BPD, but that doesn't make your symptoms any less valid, or have any implications whatsoever for anything about how I'd conceptualize what's going on for you or anything like that - it's just a label, and I think it's unfortunate that medical professionals put as much weight in psychiatric diagnoses as they do.
I also think that your social worker is right that she's not qualified to diagnose BPD. I think it very possible that she really just wasn't sure either way, but even if she does think you have it, that doesn't mean she's right. A lot of mental health professionals have a somewhat distorted understanding of BPD, and they especially tend to jump to that diagnosis with people who self harm even when it's really not an appropriate diagnosis. There have been various studies on how accurately mental health professionals diagnose various things, and they're not always right even when they are qualified to make the diagnosis, let alone when they're not. So just because your social worker wasn't willing to say that you don't have BPD doesn't mean that it would be an appropriate diagnosis.
Also, I wouldn't recommend trying to get a diagnosis of BPD. My suggestion would be to try to find someone who can treat the symptoms you listed without labeling you as borderline. BPD tends to carry some negative connotations in the medical/mental health community, and you'll probably have an easier time getting appropriate treatment without that label. So definitely tell your new psych the truth about your symptoms and everything, but I wouldn't recommend telling him you think you have BPD or trying to get him to diagnose you with it.
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