I'm Only referring to those whose opinion matters who either never liked me or stopped, for no reason. Starting several years ago, I entered college straight out of high school. Things went good for the first year bc everyone talked to me. Then Jaclyn never liked me from day 1. I repeatedly tried making conversations with her only to get snubbed. Then I got angry and b*tchy with everyone, who stopped talking to me, so I dropped out.
Same thing happened at my previous job. Everyone talked to me but Liz, who also disliked me from day 1. I also tried making conversation with her. Then I tried begging and even paid her money once, which she turned down. Other People then stopped talking to me and I exploded, so the manager made me quit.
At my current job, the first 15 months went by and everyone talked to me period. Now I been here 3 years and out of the 20 coworkers in my dept, 3 don't talk to me for no reason. Two of them are newer than the rest and the other One of them friended me on Facebook back when she liked me and deleted me when she stopped. Where is the justice? Haven't I been nice and outgoing? There was even another girl who used to snub me but doesn't do it as much ne more. Why can't the 3 ppl follow her suit?
I was bullied and hated by some at school. Being an introvert and a loner helped me. By not requiring friends I got through school. Sometimes people think they need everyone to like them. Fact is there is always going to be some stupid hater. I have four people blocked on my Facebook.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
When you have performance issues at your job, ppl who tells on you to the supervisor...well, you at least could fix that and ppl will have nothing to complain about. When ppl snub you, on the other hand, nothing you do could change that. I have changed a lot the past 3 years. People had told on me for various things I used to do that was unprofessional and I fixed that. Now they're telling on me less and less.
However, to be snubbed by 3 ppl...like wow. Can you imagine? Three out of 20 ppl is 15%. That's a lot of percentage points.
When you have performance issues at your job, ppl who tells on you to the supervisor...well, you at least could fix that and ppl will have nothing to complain about. When ppl snub you, on the other hand, nothing you do could change that. I have changed a lot the past 3 years. People had told on me for various things I used to do that was unprofessional and I fixed that. Now they're telling on me less and less.
However, to be snubbed by 3 ppl...like wow. Can you imagine? Three out of 20 ppl is 15%. That's a lot of percentage points.
I can quite easily imagine. That's really not all that bad. There are 85% there that do though. That is a larger number.
Why is it so important to you that everyone like you?
I can quite easily imagine. That's really not all that bad. There are 85% there that do though. That is a larger number.
Why is it so important to you that everyone like you?
Because if someone don't, I feel defective. I'm only referring to those whose opinion matters. There are those who talks to me whose opinion don't matter. Then there are ppl talking to me whose opinion do. The most hurtful part is ppl who snub me whose opinion matter.
I can handle it better than I did at my prev job bc my supervisor helps me deal with it. At my prev job, nobody was willing to help me. They make me shut up every time I complain that Liz hurt me.
Unfortunately not everyone is going to get on and even those whose opinions matter to you may not get in with you either. I think you may need to accept this fact and learn to move on from it.
At my old job I was trained by someone who I really did not get on with but we learnt to work alongside each other for over 11 years.
I used to have all these interpersonal issues at my previous job and some at the job I have now. It's really difficult when you have a mindset like the one you seem to currently have.... I have had the same mindset, but luckily with support I changed my mindset (support being my grandparents).
When I first started working, I used to think everyone's opinions mattered and get super anxious when it seemed that in fact hardly anyone liked me. I realised it was mostly because of the mindset and my attitude that people didnt like me.
As long as you do your job and you're friendly to people it shouldn't matter.
At the end of the day, not everyone is going to get along. I get on with most people at my work, but there are certain one's I can only just about stand to work with, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with either of us, it just means our personalities clash.
Why do these people's opinions matter more than the people who get on with you?
Take care.
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
At the end of the day, not everyone is going to get along. I get on with most people at my work, but there are certain one's I can only just about stand to work with, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with either of us, it just means our personalities clash.
Why do these people's opinions matter more than the people who get on with you?
Take care.
Some ppl's opinion matter mostly bc they're either pretty OR popular. Mostly, however, it's simply by chemistry. If I feel I click with someone, I really need them to feel the same way.
I used to have all these interpersonal issues at my previous job and some at the job I have now. It's really difficult when you have a mindset like the one you seem to currently have.... I have had the same mindset, but luckily with support I changed my mindset (support being my grandparents).
When I first started working, I used to think everyone's opinions mattered and get super anxious when it seemed that in fact hardly anyone liked me. I realised it was mostly because of the mindset and my attitude that people didnt like me.
As long as you do your job and you're friendly to people it shouldn't matter.
What kind of mindset? Do you mean the one where you need everyone to like you in order to live? I been stuck with that mindset ever since graduating high school.
I'm Only referring to those whose opinion matters?
Hey, im not trying to be mean but just pointing out a possibility you may not have thought of. If certain people dont matter to you, then you need to consider that you're not going to matter to everyone who you want to either. I'm not in any way saying you don't matter or they shouldn't care, it's just simple logic, things work both ways in life, not just the way that you want them to. I've learned that the hard way too. Try not to take it personally though, not everyone can get along and if they're not bothered then they deserve you to be either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shehurtme
Some ppl's opinion matter mostly bc they're either pretty OR popular. Mostly, however, it's simply by chemistry. If I feel I click with someone, I really need them to feel the same way.
Im not even sure how to respond to that. May I ask how old you are? When I was young I wanted to be in with the popular crowd, not because I liked them, just to feel popular and important. As you get older you realise there are far more important qualities in a potential friend than popularity or looks. I actually did get in with the popular crowd back then for a while and to be honest, I had a lot more fun and was able to be myself around the less popular crowds. So popularity isn't everything.
As for needing everyone you like to like you, well that would be nice in an idea, world but sadly that's not how it goes. You cant make someone feel the same, but what you c an do is work on liking and accepting yourself more, so you'll have less need for others approval, etc. If they're not interested try to think of it as their loss, not yours. If people let you down, try to remember theyre not perfect. No one ever means to let anyone down, i dont think, but they can't always be everything you want either. Its not necessarily a reflection on you. Just maybe try to relax a bit and go with the flow. You don't need to try so hard, just be yourself.
