hearing voices group - unsure whether to go

not_so_insig · 31-12-2014, 12:35 AM

Before Christmas I went to an hearing voices group. But I am unsure whether to go back.

Everyone there has been supportive and nobody has been nasty to me, but I dont feel as though I fit in. I feel as though my symptoms are fake and that my voice hearing is part of my imagination. That I dont deserve to go, and that everyone will expose me as a fraud.

But on the other hand I have found that other people (even though we dont all have the same diagnosis and not all are on the same medication) feel exactly the same way as I do. That we all have similarities even though we are all different people. Our voices all act in a similar manner, even though no two people in the same group have the exact number of voices. Plus I am one of the longest people to have voices there - I have been hearing voices since 2003 (nearly 12 years now!), whereas the majority of people have been hearing voices for a far less time. There's only one person who has been hearing voices since they were a teen (mine started in my twenties). If my experiences are all fake, how come I have so many similarities with other people?

I feel such an attention seeker for going. That I am not really ill or schizophrenic. That I shouldnt go back. But it's the only place I can be honest with other people about how the voices really are effecting me on a fortnightly basis (our group meets fortnightly). I feel sometimes as though I am holding back with my cpn because I am scared that she will want me IP or that she will talk to my psych. There because nobody has the power to lock us up or even knows the name of our psych's it's the only place I can be honest.

So yep. I cant get rid of the feeling I am such a fraud, hence I dont think I should go back.

Ballerina123 · 31-12-2014, 11:48 AM

I think you should give it another chance. Maybe go a few more times and see how you feel.
I try never to judge a group by the first visit because it's usually filled with a degree of anxiety.

I really liked the hearing voices group. Only reason I still don't go is because it's a bit too far away from where I live and t
He travel was too much but I would go again if it was closer.

Pi.R^2 · 31-12-2014, 12:07 PM

It sounds like you found the group really helpful, so I hope you're able to go back again!

Is there anything in particular that is making you feel like a fraud? For what it's worth, from reading your posts on here, I don't think you're a fraud at all. And I'm sure the people there are too busy struggling with their own issues to spend time analysing whether or not they think your symptoms are fake! Additionally, some of them have probably struggled with people not believing them, so would be the last people to accuse someone else of making things up.

Ballerina123 · 31-12-2014, 12:16 PM

Also you don't have to be schizophrenic to go. Some people at my group have no diagnosis at all so please try not to get bogged down about diagnosis.

not_so_insig · 31-12-2014, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pi.R^2

It sounds like you found the group really helpful, so I hope you're able to go back again!

Is there anything in particular that is making you feel like a fraud? For what it's worth, from reading your posts on here, I don't think you're a fraud at all. And I'm sure the people there are too busy struggling with their own issues to spend time analysing whether or not they think your symptoms are fake! Additionally, some of them have probably struggled with people not believing them, so would be the last people to accuse someone else of making things up.

Thanks Jenna, I am so glad that you dont think that I am making it up. I feel as though I am making it up sometimes. But my cpn says that it's because I am doing so well that I doubt myself and that I am genuinely ill. Perhaps it is me feeling so good lately that it is the cause. My voices are very quiet atm, and I have managed to get rid of one (about a month and a half ago I increased the dose of my antipsychotic).

Also what you said about people struggling with their own issues. Most people come with a support worker/other professional/family member but from day one, but I have managed to go without needing support. Also if people are finding it too much they can leave it at any time, there's only me and one other person who has always managed to stay the whole time every time! Also the two people who run the group has said to my cpn that I engage really well with the group and bring a lot to the group. Which makes me feel really great.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ballerina123

Also you don't have to be schizophrenic to go. Some people at my group have no diagnosis at all so please try not to get bogged down about diagnosis.

Thanks Kate. We havent really talked about diagnosis in our group because it doesnt really matter, but one person has revealed that they have schizoeffective disorder - the bipolar type. In fact one person moaned that they didnt even know what diagnosis they had because their psych (who is also my psych) wouldnt tell them. So because I have schizophrenia doesnt necessarily mean that everyone there has it.

Dragon_Smoke · 01-01-2015, 05:55 PM

I felt the same way when I went to the hearing voices group in my city, but I found on the days I wouldn't even speak and just listen, I still learnt alot, I'm sure you will too.

Pi.R^2 · 01-01-2015, 07:23 PM

It does sound like you manage your symptoms really well, and it's a shame that that sometimes leads you to worry that you're making things up.

Just remember, if someone with diabetes didn't have a major hypo for a long period of time, it wouldn't be that they weren't diabetic anymore, it would just mean that they had found an effective system for tracking their BM and were managing their insulin regimen really well!

not_so_insig · 03-01-2015, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pi.R^2

It does sound like you manage your symptoms really well, and it's a shame that that sometimes leads you to worry that you're making things up.

Just remember, if someone with diabetes didn't have a major hypo for a long period of time, it wouldn't be that they weren't diabetic anymore, it would just mean that they had found an effective system for tracking their BM and were managing their insulin regimen really well!

One of the people who run the group said that I have learnt a lot of coping strategies over the years. I said it was that I dont want to be over medicated and I am a low dose of antipsychotic. So I prefer non medication ways to cope with the voices. I hate the fact that I am on medication, but it's an necessary evil to keep me out being IP.