These types of threads really annoy me. I'm not trying to start an argument, but I don't think RYL should have them and at one point I'm sure they were banned.
Just want to know other peoples thoughts on them really.
I guess so. However (and this is just a personal thing)I wouldn't necessarily worry when a member disappears because in the cases that members have died (Amy, Dan, Allie etc) it has been widely reported and appropriate memorials took place.
Maybe posting goodbye threads somewhere where people couldn't respond? It might take the drama out of things. People would be able to see that the person had left and not died, but it would erase the whole just posting to elicit responses thing. That said, perhaps people doing that is actually a good way of them getting support or a way of them expressing their issues with the forum. I guess it depends what people really want out of a goodbye thread, if they're honest.
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
It does depend on what the intention of a goodbye thread is. I just think they come under the 'no goodbye notes' rule, if you're going to argue people will worry.
I don't see a problem with them, I'd much rather someone say they are leaving the site than just leave without notification, I know I'd worry if someone I knew on here just suddenly left with no warning & also it gives people a chance to wish them luck/thanks.
Eh they don't bother me. I know that 98% of the people who post them end up coming back, they're something I usually just skim over unless it's someone I know well or its more of a slating RYL than a leaving thread.
Why do they annoy you so much?
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I saw you say in the other thread that you "hate these types of threads because nobody cares".
I think that's quite a rude assumption to make, you don't know if other people care or not. Maybe you don't care and if so that's fine, but other people clearly do.
Yes, that was a rude thing to say and, clearly I was wrong. I didn't mean to upset you Aimee, I hope I haven't!
I just wanted opinions/the consensus on leaving threads. I find them extremely triggering, both ones posted by people who come back and ones posted by members that are in a good place. Its clearly my issue though, so now I know that I can avoid them :).
Just wanted to know if there was anything we could do to ban them, but if so many people find them helpful then thats obviously not a productive solution!
Takes Such strength to admit being wrong about something so i applaud you for that, although there may be other people who share your view so not 'wrong' as much as 'it varies'. I'm sorry to hear you find the threads triggering though. Would it help to not read them when you can see it is a goodbye thread?
I just realized you already said that so. .. *wanders off*
Only thing I don't like about leaving threads is when people post "I've been here 18 years and its time to move on" - and I don't know who they are because they changed their name 4 times
I have breaks from RYL sometimes, I tend to let people know because in the past, threads have been made asking about me and if I don't RV in 2 days then police will appear! Tend to put a 'having a break' note in my RV now.
I know that most people who post them end up coming back, but is it really hurting anyone? If you don't like the thread, you don't have to read it.
I also agree with Dash, I've seen quite a few threads where it's quite obvious that they want to communicate that they feel rejected and that no one cares about them. It's annoying but it's quite manipulative I think, but some people struggle to communicate in more direct ways.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I don't really see a problem unless it's just used as some excuse to slate ryl.
It depends on how the thread is worded to how much attention I give it.
It's lovely to read those odd positive thread where members are moving on because they are at a stage in their recovery where they don't need the site anymore. Those always make me smile.
Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot
I like to read the ones where people are leaving because they're recovered and are moving on. I too panic if someone disappears without a word.
However, I think if people phrase it where it's quite clearly a suicide hint i.e. 'I'm not gonna be alive much longer anyway' or to have a go at members on here then it crosses a line.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
Often they're a communication of something else though as Dash has said. And far more people who post them don't leave than do :P
OP if you know they trigger you, don't go on them, the title always specifies what it is.
Its much better for the community to know that a person has chosen to leave than to worry about how a member is and if they are okay, and there are been so many instances when this has caused a lot of distress that anything as simple as a leaving thread that can dispel that harm has to be worth it.
I can't really have much of a say but I have no issue with 'leaving threads'...
Even if it's just for a week and the person comes back, sometimes for some people it's hard to leave this place and stay away so said person could have had every intention of going away and staying away but just couldn't manage it.
I hope this makes some sort of sense, Mike needs sleeps.
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