Hi guys, major favour to ask of you. As part of my psychology degree at UCL my dissertation is on personality, impulsivity and mental health. If you could please do the online questionnaire and pass it on I would be eternally grateful. Also chance to win £25!
Its been a few days, but I'm doing alright. I'm adjusting to a med change. Just spent my sixth anniversary with my husband and enjoyed a movie and dinner. So I can't complain! How is everyone?
Jo~ Welcome! I'm in the US, so a bit of a distance :) But on here, everyone seems so much closer, am I right?
Chrissy~ Great suggestion! I'm considering switching therapists. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt at the moment since I've been fairly unstable, but now that my meds have been changed/adjusted, if I don't feel any better in the next session or two.....well I will be looking for a new therapist.
Cheryl~ I love the pic you posted! I'm tempted to steal the idea and make one for myself :)
Mark, Oliver, Liddy and all the rest of my threaded friends, how are you doing?
Hi Cheryl and 'Dying to be free' and thank you for welcoming me.
I suppose it makes no difference where everyone lives when you chat on here.
Well I'm Jo or Skye...call me either I don't mind. So if it is ok to sound you all out about something here goes...sorry if it doesn't all make sense, sometimes I type so fast just to get it out of my head.
I can't remember how much I said on here before but I haven't actually had a diagnosis yet but I'm kind of in the process of it all now...it's early days still. When I had my first appointment with the psych nurse recently and I wrote down everything I could think of that goes on in my head I was a bit in shock when he said he thought I had BPD because it had never crossed my mind and I didn't really know what it was. I thought I had OCD, had convinced myself almost. Anyway, I went away and did some research on the net...what a wonderful place lol and actually I agree with what he is saying, I have pretty much all of the typical behaviours/traits or whatever and I don't necessarily think of it as a bad thing. I have known for years now that there was something wrong with me and felt that nobody took me seriously when I said it and so felt stupid that all these feelings/depression/self-harm etc kept on coming back even after therapy several times over the years. The Psych nurse suggested a medication I could take with my others so I went to my doctor to ask her about it. When I told her that he thinks I have BPD she told me she wasn't surprised (but in all the times I have seen her over the past year has never once suggested it to me), she barely said anything else about it and her reaction(or lack of it) made me leave thinking that the possible BPD diagnosis was nothing.
After everything I have read and experienced over the years the impact it has had on me is so significant and I know I'm lucky to still be here. I don't feel that way at the moment but I know the things I have done in the past year or so should have killed me really.
Anyway I know I ramble but the thing I'm trying to figure out is should I be thinking of this as a big deal in my life or am I over reacting? I don't know if BPD is something you have for life but it feels like it should be important and acknowledged as though it was??? The only other person I have told about this is my partner and due to lack of knowledge on the situation I also got a similar response...and it's not something that has been brought up since. I feel like I'm going crazy trying to come to terms with this on my own. What does it mean for my future?? So many questions !! Anyway, thanks for listening and I hope this all makes sense. I suppose hearing others experiences would help. Is anyone else concerned about the suicide risk too?? It seems most of the celebs who were diagnosed with it have died either from suicide or as a result of their risky behaviours...drugs etc xx
Jo , scroll up , your mood should be near the top right corner , click on it and Bingo :) Hope this works
Also read your other post , try not to focus on celebs mate.
I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones
It's okay , they know me here .
Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)
''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"
I am currently a bit creeped out - some guy at the bus stop earlier, old enough to be my grandfather, basically started hitting on me, and then actually reached out and put his hand on my hip. Creepy guys hitting on me happens way too often, especially at bus stops. I honestly don't understand why - I listen to my ipod all the time, with giant headphones, and only speak to people if spoken to first, and even then I give one word answers and try to stop talking as soon as possible. This is the first time one of them has actually touched me though.
Jo, a piece of advice for you! Don't believe everything you read about BPD! A lot of it is scare mongering but some of it is sadly true. Its about sifting the crap from the truth.
trechu, I would have called the cops on him. Leering at people is one thing but touching is another. Can you make bus route safer for yourself such as only going alone in daylight hours or buddying up after dark. You could carry a wee torch or attack alarm and have it round your neck where it can be seen and therefore hopefully act as a deterrent. x
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Therapy wasn't bad this week. So maybe things will work out. Time will tell I guess. But she did say we would start working through the past abuse and I'm not looking forward to this. I keep trying to dig a deeper hole for it so it stays buried and continue to fail to understand why that $hit doesn't stay buried. F!
Anyway, moving on. Rachel, I do hope you are okay, dear! That's awful that someone felt they had the right to touch you. That's SO not okay!
Mark and Liddy, how are you guys? I don't see much chatter from you lately other than checking in. I do hope you guys are doing well!
Jo, I have the same questions you do. I don't necessarily pay attention to the media or celebs, but I have been told by one of my therapists and my psych that I have no shot at 'normal'. I DO however, have a shot at something closer to 'normal' than where I am now. If you are wondering why I keep putting normal in quotes, its because I don't believe that there is any such thing as normal. Everyone has issues of some sort and the term normal is not the same for anyone. So I hope I haven't offended anyone with my use of the word. I assure everyone, no harm was meant by it. Basically what my therapist that I see in person said was that there is a continuum,
BPD----------------------------------------Normal
and yes, she actually drew it out like that. People with our personality disorder fall somewhere in between and can only achieve something closer to the 'normal' end of things with therapy and medication. This is part of the reason why I have considered not seeing her. But my psych has also said that things that set me off will always set me off. That I have to learn to deal with it and that my moodiness will always be there, but will dissipate as I age and will become more manageable with therapy and medication. So that being said, Jo, please don't take stock in the crap you read nor what my medical professionals are saying because I'm in a similar if not same boat and am terrified at what I've been told and read as well. But like Liddy said, we have to sift the crap. I like to think they are just reciting crap they've read and been taught which is likely the same crap we have read about BPD. I'm so sorry that you're going through a tough time and I didn't mean to end up on a rant. I hope it is helpful to know that you have friends here that are either going through the same thing or have in the past. *hugs*
And again, I hope I've not stepped on any toes with my post. Just trying to show my support.
hi everyone, sorry i cant really offer support everything's a bit messed up. Im taking a week off work as unfortunately being ill just got too much for that place and it was for the best, but going back is going to be hard.
I just wonder how other people feel about having the bpd label, i have started trying to explain it to work but its difficult to put into words what it is and how it affects me.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
ehh, sorry havent been on here in foreverrr. i got a new job and lost all my frineds again, so ive been trying to just drowned it all out with extreme amounts of xbox. still havent gone to the doc about my issues yet :(
Don't ever say your not beautiful!
Don't get mad!! Get Glad!!
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