Remember what you were saying a couple pages ago about talking to your doctor about reducing/changing meds rather than going cold turkey and risking your job? Do that, please. Don't be stubborn.
I am not really okay but I'm not awful either. Just coasting. I haven't been up to much, just hanging out with Mum/Suzie and applying for jobs. I have applied for so, so many but I'm stuck in the place where the jobs I really want are almost impossible to get, the jobs I could do in the meantime aren't getting back to me, and the jobs in retail etc I don't have the experience for (as I spent so much time getting psychology-relevant stuff). Volunteering applications aren't really getting anywhere as all the stuff I have applied for requires training that won't happen until the new year. Feel so stuck :/
Oh Ali, it sounds so frustrating and I'm sorry you're in this position. I know it's horrible when jobs aren't getting back to you, but they will! You will find something, I know that probably doesn't change how you feel right now, but keep going <3 Can you plan thing to keep yourself occupied and maybe cheer yourself up a bit?
I know I'm, being stubborn and a bit ridiculous, but I don't necessarily think I'm risking my job or anything. I would never do anything unprofessional or harmful to residents no matter how bad I felt. Ugh. I don't know. I'm not even sure if I have left it too long to start taking them again, I know it made me really sick at one point when I didn't start on a lower dose. I hate it. I am unsure about putting stuff into my body that makes me feel so bloody awful when I don't take it. I know millions of people do with no issues, but still. I am not comfortable with it. I've always been really bad with medication and I just don't know that it's the right option for me. They are only antidepressants, it's not like I am going to go off the rails crazy if I don't take them.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Can you at least book a doctor's appointment or call them to ask for advice in terms of tapering back onto it or stopping? Just so you're not going completely rogue. Feeling awful if you don't take them is surely an indicator they're doing something good for your mood? And I don't think you'd do anything to harm the residents, but what if you start to feel too bad to get out of bed or go to work?
It's okay, I just have to keep trying. Really struggling with feelings regarding the breakup too so my motivation and mood just aren't helping the situation. Trying to plan things with friends but they all work full time and are busy/bad at getting back to me, so I'm sort of limited in what I can do, particularly as I don't have any money. I'm going to see if there's some sort of group I can join to keep busy but that involves anxiety about new people etc! I have the Cardiff meet on Sunday so that should be nice :)
*cuddles* It must be really horrible having to deal with all the breakup stuff as well. You know we're all here if it would help to talk about anything, yeah? Having no money definitely doesn't help things! But I'm sure the Cardiff meet will be nice! And I really hope you manage to meet up with friends soon! Joining a group sounds like a good plan. I can definitely understand it being anxiety-provoking, but look at all the things you manage to do! You can definitely manage joining a group if it's something you want.
I'll make an appointment to see my GP, but it will take a couple of weeks probably. I think feeling awful is more an indicator that they are horrible things that come with all sort of withdrawal-y issues. You do have a valid point about not being able to work / get out of bed. I just. I don't know. I know it looks like I'm being really stupid and I probably am but eurgh. I have a lot of feelings :P
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Hey everyone... I'm sorry for just popping in like this especially as I've been completely useless replying or posting - but I could really use a hug and some familiarity so I hope you don't mind me popping in.
Anyway... Hope you're all well, I think of you often and do read up - I just never really feel I have a right to post.
Anyway...
Ritzi! It is so lovely to see you :) *gentle cuddles* Of course you have a right to post, this is clearly the awesome people of RYL thread, so you very much belong here <3 How are you doing?
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Sorry to be all difficult :S I will try to be sensible, honest.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
*hugs Ritzi and Ali and Hannah and Amy*
Haven't caught up properly sorry :(
May be a bit tipsy but can't sleep. Own fault, 'napped' from 5ish until 10.
Hello.
Hope you are ok Hannah?
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
I'm good thanks Amy :). I had a minor disaster at placement, but my supervisor is willing to bend the rules a little bit, which is good - it prevents me from having to do a whole observation again, with only 2 days to do it in. Can't believe we go back to uni next week, the 5 weeks have flown by!
Ah, I'm glad your superviser is supportive for you. I neve had to do placement at uni but I bet the adjustment between the two is hard!
Oh. I had nurses looking for me this morning when I was outside and got called in. Then I told them I wanted to leave but my dr couldn't come up today so they got someone else. I told him I was leaving regardless and he threatened me with a hold so before anyone could lock the doors or do anything, I grabbed my essential stuff and left. It took them a while before they realised I'd actually left the grounds (the dr is a bit simple and I told him so later) anyway. Ritzi called me so I told her where I was and agreed to stay put and wait for her on the proviso that no nurses came. I saw her coming and was still on the phone with her and then I saw a nurse behind her so I walked. They were too close though so I have up and sat on a step. After about 10mins I agreed to come back and we got a lift up and then I refused to talk to the Dr again, called him simple and possibly an idiot (:/) and that was the last time I spoke to anyone. So yeah.
Oh yeah. I'm on a hold now. It's a section 23.1? It's 24hrs anyway. I have to see my consultant tomorrow and apparently he'll decide whether or not to section me. I've not been allowed off the ward since about 3:30 or something like that and I'm going stir crazy.
