how to handle triggers?

[teal]

My best friend came up to me today when we went out and told me "you lost a lot of weight, you look so skinny you shouldn't lose more and it's good you're in recovery" and all I can think of is "she's just saying it, don't listen to her it's all lies" and i really am trying to pay attention and listen to her and believe her but i just... can't. Not when I go home and my parents ask me if she gained weight and tell me I was always bigger than her, so it's weird she gained weight and that she must not "be as bad as me" - their words, not mine.
How do I handle this? I'm really trying recovery this time, but i just keep on wanting to relapse and the urge is getting worse. I'm only on recovery for two weeks after a big relapse, i hope it goes away... or else i'll give in soon

[mousetrousers]

I wish I knew the answer. I'm where you are now. It's so tempting to just give in, take the easy road. What are you fighting for? what do you want back in your life? think about what recovery will bring that relapse will take away. maybe that will help you stay strong

[maybeline]

I Know how all weight related comments just makes the mind spin.
A compliment or other well ment comments can do just as much damage as a mean one. As soon as its about weight it just seems to be triggering.
The thoughts starts spinning and its too overwhelming...

Its important to remember that people do not know the damage of their comment. They do not know the illness like you do. So comments that one would be sooo much better without will come. Not once, not twice but a whole lot of times. And therefor one has to learn not to let it spoil the recovery. You might say its only two weeks but thats proberly been two very hard weeks and it would be a shame if they were wasted and deleted by other peoples comments.

I know how hard it is but try not to dwell too much one these kind of things. Remind yourself that it does not really matter. What matters is that you have picked yourself back up after a relapse (which is freaking hard!) so well done!
And you been doing good for two weeks now.
You really really have to keep your focus and attention on yourself and the very purpose of your one single precious life doing recovery. And how you can make the most out of it while time is.
And its so hard, i know. Its like being surrounded by screaming triggers all the time. But I think hannah wrote some great things, you can ask yourself. Try to work towards that.

The power of thoughts are not to be underestimated.
Neither the bad or positive.
They can break you down or build your up.
So choose wisely.

[teal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mousetrousers

I wish I knew the answer. I'm where you are now. It's so tempting to just give in, take the easy road. What are you fighting for? what do you want back in your life? think about what recovery will bring that relapse will take away. maybe that will help you stay strong

I'm sorry you're in the same situation... I'm fighting for better health and to actually spend Christmas without worrying about calories, purging or binging, like the past couple years. So that I can be a better model for my best friend, but then she went saying I gave her bad habits for venting to her about stuff. She was the one who asked, and I told her. I forget she had an ED and now she's relapsing... I guess i also want to relapse because i'm a bad friend and want punishment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by maybeline

I Know how all weight related comments just makes the mind spin.
A compliment or other well ment comments can do just as much damage as a mean one. As soon as its about weight it just seems to be triggering.
The thoughts starts spinning and its too overwhelming...

Its important to remember that people do not know the damage of their comment. They do not know the illness like you do. So comments that one would be sooo much better without will come. Not once, not twice but a whole lot of times. And therefor one has to learn not to let it spoil the recovery. You might say its only two weeks but thats proberly been two very hard weeks and it would be a shame if they were wasted and deleted by other peoples comments.

I've told them comments like that hurt and my dad stopped them for a week, and then started to call me "fatty" instead of my name. This was back in february and lasted until July. Those comments made me relapse and he only stopped when he saw me eat less and less until he told me i needed to eat more and that I was losing weight too fast.
They were hard. Just now had breakfast and i'm in pain so full. And it was a regular breakfast but way more than my normal breakfasts before recovery.

Thank you both, it helped a bit!

[maybeline]

I am sorry:( i know how you feel. I told my parents time after time not to say certain things and yet they do.
Its hard but try not to let it trouble your recovery.
I know. But try to hang on.
Remember just because you feel very full dosent mean that you have eaten too much. Your body just need a little time to learn how to handle a normal portion size. You feel painfully full cause you are used to eat too little. Not because you ate to much.

Hang in there! You are on your way. You have done so well. Two weeks are a very long time when things are hard. It takes alot of strength. You can do this:)

[teal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by maybeline

I am sorry:( i know how you feel. I told my parents time after time not to say certain things and yet they do.
Its hard but try not to let it trouble your recovery.
I know. But try to hang on.
Remember just because you feel very full dosent mean that you have eaten too much. Your body just need a little time to learn how to handle a normal portion size. You feel painfully full cause you are used to eat too little. Not because you ate to much.

Hang in there! You are on your way. You have done so well. Two weeks are a very long time when things are hard. It takes alot of strength. You can do this:)

Thank you for the support! I just hate feeling full. I like being empty.

[maybeline]

I know, its really uncomfortable, especially after time with restriction. It comes pretty fast and easy and its like you ate a stone or something...however it does get easier. You got to keep going so your body can get back on track so it becomes easier for it to digest the food:)