need support and advice

[Ballerina123]

A lot is going on: my dad is seriously ill in hospital, my cat is ill and I cant afford the vet bills and my brother is unwell.

But right now Im most worried about my mum.
She is looking after my bro and dad but she is currently homeless and living on a campsite.
she told me yesterday that she is considering suicide.
she said it again today.
she has mental health problems and like me doesnt manage stress very well.

I dont know what to do or how to help her.
she is not under services. Ive told her to speak to her gp but she said she doesn't care enough because she would just rather give up.

Im stressed and scared...

[Ballerina123]

also if I called services and told them my mum is considering suicide it is likely she would lie and say she is fine.
she is isolating from everyone.

I have told her to come and stay with me and she said she might next week.

[Fire Fly]

Hey hun that said so hard and difficult to digest. If you think she is serious and you think she will act on the urges then you should call and say she will lie and say she's fines but your very worried and see maybe if they offer it maybe htt or even a crisis house so She can have help looking for places. Where did your dad stay before he got taken to hospital? Could your mum stay there or live with your brother+?

With regards to the cat, what have you done in the past for your car when you lived in supported accommodation? Have you called the vet and asked if you can have payment plan?

How are you managing to cope. I know you don't react well to stress so what could you do or say to Gove your bit but then you can take a step back. It sounds really hard and I'm so sorryyou're feeling so stressed and upset .

[Ballerina123]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fire Fly

Hey hun that said so hard and difficult to digest. If you think she is serious and you think she will act on the urges then you should call and say she will lie and say she's fines but your very worried and see maybe if they offer it maybe htt or even a crisis house so She can have help looking for places. Where did your dad stay before he got taken to hospital? Could your mum stay there or live with your brother+?

With regards to the cat, what have you done in the past for your car when you lived in supported accommodation? Have you called the vet and asked if you can have payment plan?

How are you managing to cope. I know you don't react well to stress so what could you do or say to Gove your bit but then you can take a step back. It sounds really hard and I'm so sorryyou're feeling so stressed and upset .

I have informed the family who are in the same area as my mum so can keep an eye on her. I live quite far away.
My dad was living at the campsite with my mum.

I only got the cat 4 weeks ago. I still live in supported accommodation. Im not sure what youre asking about the cat?
The vet doesnt have a payment plan, ive asked. I may need to use my credit card.

I called HTT and Im seeing them at 4.30pm. they told me to take my clonazapam till then.

I think I might have a bath and tidy the house. I always feel calmer when my flat is tidy.

[JusC]

Hi there, u havent mentioned where ur living at the moment? Do u live on ur own or do u live with family?

Not nice to see loved ones suffering like this. You do everything u can and thats nothing else u can do. I can see why ur mum is upset and is finding herself more and more stressed. You said shes living in a camp site. How did that come about?

Im not sure wether u look after ur brother and dad two but u must do if u have regular contact with them. I think it would be a good idea for u and ur mum to think of local services in ur Ares who can help with getting the extra support u both need. Theres Care UK who can posdibly step in and help u and ur mum get the support u need or u can contact Young Cares
as ur a young carer looking after ur dad and brother. Its worth making contact with them by phone.

You said u cant cope on ur own with paying the bills my advice would be to seem help from the Citizens Advice as they will hopefully manage whats going on with ur the bills ur paying off and can give u free legal advice on all relations to that.

You should ring up ur vet surgery and ask about how much ur paying for getting ur pet treated each month so u know how much ur spending. Do u think its worth setting up a direct debut account with them? You could think about it. Whats wrong with ur cat? Is ir serious?

I think ur mum should be living somewhere other then the outdoors. I think if she could try getting some temp acomadation for the time being then u know shes safe by that. You could ask The Citizens Advice about that as well. You could think of ur mum staying with u but i dont know what u think with everything? You should make an appointment for ur mum to see the doctor and go with her as thats the only way she can get help. Have u thought about getting help for her with Mind? They are a chairty what helps people cope with their mental illness and ordee advice for them. That be good for u?

Do u work? You not said if u do or dont. If u dont then u could get some support from The Careers Advice Service who can hopefully try and make ur chances being employed a sccessful one. Have u tried college or any other training programes. Worth looking into. Thats worry doing if u havent got nothing doing.

If u need any futher help with coping then u contact the smaritians who will be there to help anytime. You can talk on here as there will always be someone u can talk to. I hope that helps.

Im here if u wanna talk two

[Ballerina123]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JusC

Hi there, u havent mentioned where ur living at the moment? Do u live on ur own or do u live with family?

I live in supported housing in london. My parents live in newcastle.

Quote:

Not nice to see loved ones suffering like this. You do everything u can and thats nothing else u can do. I can see why ur mum is upset and is finding herself more and more stressed. You said shes living in a camp site. How did that come about?

Well they were selling there house to more abroad and just as the house was sold and handed over to the new owners my dad got ill and failed the medical clearance required to move abroad so the have no house. They do have the money for a new house but it's hard for my parents to organise buying somewhere at the moment with my dad so Unwell so they are living on a camp site.

Quote:

Im not sure wether u look after ur brother and dad two but u must do if u have regular contact with them. I think it would be a good idea for u and ur mum to think of local services in ur Ares who can help with getting the extra support u both need. Theres Care UK who can posdibly step in and help u and ur mum get the support u need or u can contact Young Cares
as ur a young carer looking after ur dad and brother. Its worth making contact with them by phone.

I am not my dads carer as I live miles away. My mum technically isn't a carer either because he normally works and functions fine so this is not really an option. I'm also not that young I'm 27.

Quote:

You should ring up ur vet surgery and ask about how much ur paying for getting ur pet treated each month so u know how much ur spending. Do u think its worth setting up a direct debut account with them? You could think about it. Whats wrong with ur cat? Is ir serious?

The vets don't do payment plans or direct debits. I think my cat is stressed due to a recent house move. She is doing a lot better today though.

Quote:

I think ur mum should be living somewhere other then the outdoors. I think if she could try getting some temp acomadation for the time being then u know shes safe by that. You could ask The Citizens Advice about that as well. You could think of ur mum staying with u but i dont know what u think with everything? You should make an appointment for ur mum to see the doctor and go with her as thats the only way she can get help. Have u thought about getting help for her with Mind? They are a chairty what helps people cope with their mental illness and ordee advice for them. That be good for u?

She is not keen on the doctor or help. She just thinks it's all a waste of time because they can't change anything. I know they could help and I have suggested it. I could make her an appointment but with the way she is at the moment I doubt she would turn up.

Quote:

Do u work? You not said if u do or dont. If u dont then u could get some support from The Careers Advice Service who can hopefully try and make ur chances being employed a sccessful one. Have u tried college or any other training programes. Worth looking into. Thats worry doing if u havent got nothing doing.

I'm currently doing a degree part time and waiting to start a new job inthe next month. Im not worried about things to do. I have loads to do. It's juggling it all that's the problem.

Quote:

If u need any futher help with coping then u contact the smaritians who will be there to help anytime. You can talk on here as there will always be someone u can talk to. I hope that helps.

Im here if u wanna talk two

Thanks I have put the samaritins on my emergency contact list. I have found them helpful in the past and I'm currently under the home treatment team who see me daily.


HTT cameto see me today because I was very stressed. They said I need to try and stay as calm as possible and call if I need to chat. The samaritins would prob be my best bet as the crisis line always tell you to go to a & e and I don't think they can do anything when your just stressed and worried. It's not really a risk. Also I don't like the though that hospital might be considered if I was seen.

I went out for a few hours with a friend and it helped.
I also did some uni work wich helped too as it made me feel accomplished.

I'm gonna try some exercise tomorrow as I think that will be a good de-stressed.
HTT will be visiting in the morning.

I've really tried today and it gone ok but I still feel like I need encouragement and support to keep going.

[ennae]

It sounds like you are doing really well in very difficult situations. Exercise often helps to help de-stress. I'm glad your cat is doing better. Perhaps if he/she does need to see a vet you could look around your area and find one that will let you pay off the bill? Stay strong!

[Ballerina123]

My dad should be discharged from hospital today which is good news and my cat seems to be doing a bit better. So the stress is a little less, but the whole situation has made my mum go into a depressive episode and that still worries me.

HTT should arrive soon to talk to.

I'm scared the meds are stopping me hearing the government instructions.
I need the meds because I function better on them but I can't hear the voices I need to hear on them.
I'm worried I am missing out on something important.

I'm trying to do some work today but I'm not concentrating very well.
I have tidied the flat a little bit though.

[Ballerina123]

An old friend died today.
What if all this people being ill is my fault?
I'm not sure i should be on meds.
It was better when I could hear the voices properly.
They were instructions to help people.

I want to discharge myself because they keep saying I'm psychotic but that's a lie. They are just saying it so they can control me.
They are terrorists.

[Ballerina123]

feel really sad about my friend being dead today. she had kids. Im so upset for her family. she was only 27.

I need to learn to cope with stress.

[JusC]

Hi there, I saw ur message earlier.

I'm glad everything is ok with the situation before now and u still got ur mum and dad ur close to even if they live far away. You said ur dad isn't ill and can work. I thought he couldnt? I'm sorry they had to sell the house but it's proberly for best.

I see that ur mum can't stay with u but couldn't yr mum and dad look at temp
accommodation? That's cheap isn't it? I thought u lived on ur own but not in a flat share like u mentioned. The same thing. How is it there?

Ok but does ur dad need help? I know ur mum does as u said. You should just make appointment and force her to go but look at other services what can with her illness two. Can't she maybe see a counsellor? Knows she's not herself? You need to speak to doctor or something.

Couldn't u go somewhere else to get ur pet treated? Or get someone to look after ur cat now and again? I'm gladur cat is ok. I love cats :)

Thats good u can still keep busy. Glad to hear about the new job. what is it and what degree? Do u see any friends in yr spare time or?

Your the first to say that u have used smartians. Glad that they have been helpful. Would u try them again? That's what u need. What about getting ur mum to talk to someone there? That would be good. Yh I know what u mean. Need to stay calm and strong and u are.

That's nice. Seeing a friend is good. That's good two. Relax as much as possible. Ok

You said about ur car? What happened to it? Can't u get someone to fix the wheel? Wasn't there anyone who could help?

Have u tried going to a garage and getting them to have a look at it? I know u havent got car buy can't u call someone out. Whats happened now? Anyone come to help u? What about a family member or a friend u know

I don't know how that happened but I'm glad ur ok. Yh it's best to get the car checked out and see what happens. I know it's money but u want it fixed in time. Have u thought about savings to go towards it or why don't u get it done when u start ur new job? You may have to take pubilc transport but thats ok for now. Yh

Whst do u think? Best to go to a few garages and see which one is cheaper. You said get the problem sorted soon. What's happened to the car?

Nice to help ur sister but u need to think about ur car and money. Your sister will be ok I'm sure and is proberly getting help. You got each other. You need to think about this first. You know.

I'm sorry to hear about ur friend. What happened? hope ur ok? It's not ur fault. You couldn't help it and u were there for her when u tried. Your not on ur own.

You should still take th medication as its important. Have u been back to see the doctor or? You should do and make appointment for ur mum. Thats what u need to do. Ok. What do u think?

They are only trying to help. I'm glad ur ok though. You seeing anyone at the moment? Stay Strong and u have done which is good :)

I'm here if u wanna talk.

Ps I don't much advice to say to u

[Ballerina123]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JusC

Hi there, I saw ur message earlier.

I'm glad everything is ok with the situation before now and u still got ur mum and dad ur close to even if they live far away. You said ur dad isn't ill and can work. I thought he couldnt? I'm sorry they had to sell the house but it's proberly for best. I see that ur mum can't stay with u but couldn't yr mum and dad look at temp
accommodation? That's cheap isn't it? I thought u lived on ur own but not in a flat share like u mentioned. The same thing. How is it there?

Ok but does ur dad need help? I know ur mum does as u said. You should just make appointment and force her to go but look at other services what can with her illness two. Can't she maybe see a counsellor? Knows she's not herself? You need to speak to doctor or something.

Couldn't u go somewhere else to get ur pet treated? Or get someone to look after ur cat now and again? I'm gladur cat is ok. I love cats :)

Thats good u can still keep busy. Glad to hear about the new job. what is it and what degree? Do u see any friends in yr spare time or?

Your the first to say that u have used smartians. Glad that they have been helpful. Would u try them again? That's what u need. What about getting ur mum to talk to someone there? That would be good. Yh I know what u mean. Need to stay calm and strong and u are.

That's nice. Seeing a friend is good. That's good two. Relax as much as possible. Ok

You said about ur car? What happened to it? Can't u get someone to fix the wheel? Wasn't there anyone who could help?

Have u tried going to a garage and getting them to have a look at it? I know u havent got car buy can't u call someone out. Whats happened now? Anyone come to help u? What about a family member or a friend u know

I don't know how that happened but I'm glad ur ok. Yh it's best to get the car checked out and see what happens. I know it's money but u want it fixed in time. Have u thought about savings to go towards it or why don't u get it done when u start ur new job? You may have to take pubilc transport but thats ok for now. Yh

Whst do u think? Best to go to a few garages and see which one is cheaper. You said get the problem sorted soon. What's happened to the car?

Nice to help ur sister but u need to think about ur car and money. Your sister will be ok I'm sure and is proberly getting help. You got each other. You need to think about this first. You know.

I'm sorry to hear about ur friend. What happened? hope ur ok? It's not ur fault. You couldn't help it and u were there for her when u tried. Your not on ur own.

You should still take th medication as its important. Have u been back to see the doctor or? You should do and make appointment for ur mum. Thats what u need to do. Ok. What do u think?

They are only trying to help. I'm glad ur ok though. You seeing anyone at the moment? Stay Strong and u have done which is good :)

I'm here if u wanna talk.

Ps I don't much advice to say to u

I'm not sure how to answer this. There are so many questions about things I havnt even said. What has my sister got to do with any of this? And it's my cat not my car? When did I menation wheels? Did you reply to the wrong thread?
If it was meant for me I'm not sure you have understood correctly but thanks for the reply.
There are too many questions and my brain is just not up to it right now sorry.

[Ballerina123]

I've just come home to find my cat has been ill all day. I'm so worried about her she just doesn't seem to be doing well at all.
I have a vet appointment on Tuesday for her. I'm really worried. I don't like seeing her this way. I'm scared to go out tomorrow incase she gets worse and I'm not there.
I just want her to be well and happy.

Everything is hard right now :(

[JusC]

I tried putting everything u said into one message so thats why its confusing. I did it in paragraphs to be easier. I mentioned the top bit about ur dad and mum getting a flat together, ur cat going to another vet or getting someone to look after it as its cheaper, does ur dad work and if so is it part time and if ur dad gets support and mum?

That's what the questions were. You wrote me a long essay and I couldn't read all of it in one go and most of it u were saying was giving me time to think about questions to ask as u didnt know what u should do with the above message u was asking for.

I couldn't take it all in. I also ment from the above message at the bottom that I sent u was about ur car. I asked what happened to ur car, did u go to a garage to get it fixed, couldn't u look around garages to see whats the best price, couldn't a family member fix ur car and u mentioned about ur sister in the message last saying u wanna help ur sister but can't and I said u have to focus on getting ur car back on the road and how much it will be?

I'm glad ur ok. I'm glad ur cat is. I'm sure u will find a vet will be more useful. Your cat has had this for a while. Good to know u got ur mum and dad.

That's everything I said from the previous message before.

[JusC]

?????

[Ballerina123]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JusC

I tried putting everything u said into one message so thats why its confusing. I did it in paragraphs to be easier. I mentioned the top bit about ur dad and mum getting a flat together, ur cat going to another vet or getting someone to look after it as its cheaper, does ur dad work and if so is it part time and if ur dad gets support and mum?

Sorry for not replying properly. Thank you so much for your support and reply.

I think my mum and dad should get a small flat for now i'll tell them that.
My mum is gonna pay my vet bill which is helpful but I feel guilty for taking her money.

My dad dose work and should be going back to work soon. He works full time.




my mum id coming to london to visit me today Im excited to see her. its making me feel a lot better. x

[havealittlefaith]

Have a lovely day with your mum x

[JusC]

Thats ok. I wanted to explain.

I'm glad that's helped u. You should mention that to them. There are cheap flats around. I think it will be better. Say that to ur dad two. Thats good ur dad works. You should do that. You said ur mum is coming down to see u so could mention it and ask how she's feeling.

You could try to get her to see doctor if u do ur best. You can't force her but u are worried and should say that. Does need to think speak to someone.

I'm here if u wanna talk x

[Snow White.]

I'm glad your mum is comingto see you, I hope you both have a nice time xx
Please keep posting here, let us know how things are going for you x

[MissAnonymous]

Thinking of you, how did seeing your mum go? I hope your kitty is improving x