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Really concerned about my friend
Ok so I've been best friends with a girl for six years now and I know her like the back of my hand. She's really confident and clever and gets a lot of male attention and she's a very honest, sometimes brutally so, type. She's one of those people who gets amazing grades, loads of guys asking her out and she's beautiful! But I'm getting worried about her as lately she's become different - more withdrawn and isolated.
So, she's going out with this guy who I really like, he's really fun and crazy but he's an AWFUL boyfriend to her in that he's really unattentive and is always so busy trying to entertain everyone else that he neglects her in social situations. He's always late/standing her up and then buying her presents to get out of it, he always says he'll call/text her then forgets to and I have to deal with her feeling upset and low on a far too regular basis. She's one of those people who never ever cries, yet I've seen her bawl her eyes out over him a dozen times since she's been going out with him! I support her choice to go out with him because I'm trying to be a good friend and it's not for me to decide who she dates, but I personally think she should dump him purely because he causes her way more heartache than its worth it seems. However, she seems determined to stay with him, and I think she is clinging onto the relationship partly because her parents are divorcing at the moment and I can understand that she doesn't want another relationship to fall apart.
Her parents splitting has hit her really hard. I thought she was coping fine because that's the front she puts on (and convincingly so) but she got drunk the other week and confessed she was really upset and even showed me some cuts on her from where she'd self-harmed!!! This shocked me so much because she is such a strong, together kind of person and I feel awful that I had no idea she was feeling this bad!! I must be a terrible friend for not noticing the secret pain and torment she's been going through. Her mum is divorcing her step dad who has raised my friend since she was 2 years old yet he wants nothing to do with her once the divorce is done, which is what really hurts her. She told me she feels like all the men in her life don't care about her, especially as her real father made it clear he didn't want to know her either as soon as he found out she existed. She told me she felt like she deserved the pain because she is clearly flawed, thus why she self-harmed. I comforted her and told her to tell me whenever she feels like doing it again so I can talk it out with her and help her and she said she would. My boyfriend was there at the time and he went through similar things when his dad passed away so he comforted her too.
Now, we went to a music festival last week and she was behaving a little weirdly. She was ill for most of the festival - or at least she said she was - and so towards the end of it she stayed in the tent a lot. I made an effort to check on her and make sure she had a enough water, but she just kept asking me to send her useless boyfriend in who was too busy getting drunk and high to pay attention, and then he got moody with me simply for alerting him to the fact that he needed to be there for her - he doesn't know about the self-harming as she didn't want to tell him. Also, she was kind of off with me at times and she seemed really off with my boyfriend too, which hurt me because he is so sweet and lovely and he was giving her really good advice when she initially broke down and confessed everything to us, but I gave her benefit of the doubt because she was sick and is having a hard time.
Now we're back home from the festival, I texted her asking how she was feeling and I eventually got a reply saying she felt rubbish and we exchanged a few messages where I tried to comfort her and listen to her problems. Then she sent me a text the other day, out of the blue, saying 'why do lots of bad things happen at once' so I asked what had happened and after not getting a reply for hours, I sent a follow up question mark. No reply. In the morning, I texted her 'are you okay?' and she texted back yeah and I said 'you didn't reply so I got worried something might have happened' and I still haven't got a reply and it's been hours and hours and hours since I sent that! She's usually a fast texter and usually calls me like every other day, sometimes daily, but she's just gone off the radar. I'd go to her house to see her but her and her mum have moved out of their old house and she hasn't given me the address yet so I don't know what to do/why she is being like this! Why does her uncaring, selfish boyfriend get all her attention, yet me and my boyfriend who have been there for her, especially me who's been texting her and checking up on her, get nothing? Why won't she text me or anything? I'm getting so worried about her because she doesn't seem her normal self right now, please help
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It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.
