Cacoethes?

[Cacoethes]

Being admitted. Not sure where yet.
Agreed to go informal.
Was put on 136.
Apparently no beds here so just waiting to find one. Night from hell

[Buttons.]

Oh sweetheart I know how shitty that is but just hang on in there and remember you won't be in wherever you end up forever just until you can convince them (hopefully HONESTLY) that you are sane enough to go home. For now try and keep calm and not piss anybody off :P

[sherlock holmes]

I'm glad you're going in informal, much better than a section and shows you're being co-operative (apart from the 136, I hope that wasn't too distressing for you).

Thinking of you x

[Cacoethes]

Thanks both x

They're really messing me around.
Apparently now I need another assessment with Amhp and crisis team before they decide what to do with me.
Judging by the raised voices at the end of the corridor, this was crisis teams idea, not the doctor and nurse that initially assessed me.

And the nurse now on my obs since the police left is the one that hated me from the ward.

Amhp will be at least 45 mins

Fucked off

[sherlock holmes]

What do they want the AMHP for? To decide if you need a section, or to decide if you should go home?

I know it's frustrating having to wait and not knowing what's going on. I hope everything settles down soon.

[Wonderland.]

Do you know what you want out of the assessment?

Try and keep calm. Have you got anything to occupy yourself with?

[Cacoethes]

I have no idea about anything.
I know the amhps here, crisis team reappeared but think they be gone again and waiting on doctor now.

Nurse said should have been done this morning and this mornings assessment was ok (they said admission) but sone sort of policy has changed or something so 'proper' mha.

I haven't slept. I'm tearful and fucking terrified they'll say they can't help.

[carla1983]

Fingers crossed you can be helped Hun let them help u xx

[Cacoethes]

Well, I'm home.

They'd already decided against admission before they even got in there ('this is not a full mha' and 'hospital doesn't help you')
I was already crying but it became uncontrollable and couldn't talk to them I just completely froze and the room I had been sitting in for 6 hours suddenly felt really big and bright. They had to give me lorazepam to calm me down and then crisis team brought me home.
They're coming again at 7 and tomorrow I'll be referred to something called adtu which is literally a hospital ward but they drop you off home at the end of the day. Wont be until tuesday though.

So I dont know.
7-8 hours in handcuffs. rugby tackled and 136d outside a&e. then went to 136 suite but they didn't believe me that I hadn't taken an od so they said I had to go back to a&e to be medically cleared. 7 or 8 hours of waiting for the bloods to be taken and then results. Even had to have bloods taken withthe handcuffs on.
Then medically cleared and 6 hours in 136.
First being told they were looking for a bed, then told I needed a mha and here we are.

I actually shouted at the first doctor, because for the 3rd time he said 'why do you want to take the overdose' and I just ended up shouting 'I don't WANT to, I HAVE to!!!'

but still ended up in being told to use my distraction list.

[sherlock holmes]

I am honestly speechless. I cannot believe after all of that they let you go home.

It's encouraging at least that you will have something in place, the ADTU, which could be very helpful especially if they pick you up and drop you home.

What are you plans until Tuesday? Is it possible to ask someone to stay with you, like your brother, to help keep you safe?

[Auror.]

That sounds horrible, Beckie. But at the same time it does sound like you are getting offered some kind of support? I know it's not an admission but maybe it will be helpful because you can also stay at home. Hopefully you can stay safe until then.

<3

[[Luna]]

Oh Beckie, I'm sorry you've been through all this and they are messing you about. you don't need that when you're in such a vulnerable space.

Thinking of you lovely and sending so much love x

[Cacoethes]

thanks guys x

the lorazepam has hit me pretty hard and i took one temazepam last night and didn't sleep all night still because of in a&e so im wrecked.

i dont know what the adtu will be like. only time i heard of it before was when some of the patients on the ward said they were admitted straight from there.

i dont want them to take me. now ive had the loraz they gave me and its done this then it probably woudnt take much to make me ill now.
they dont get it. it is such a real threat and they dont get it.

[Patent Pending]

Hey Beckie,

I'm sorry that you've been so messed around and let down by them all. I hope the ADTU will be helpful and that they can offer you some more support.

I want to tell you though that you've done so amazingly well to keep reaching out for help with all this even when it was like banging your head against a brick wall - I know it's not easy when you're in such a vulnerable place but it shows your true strength and determination to get support.

Sending love and *hugs*

x x x

[when.will.it.end]

This sounds like a nightmare. I can really relate to what you've been through with services. They shouldn't mess you around so much. Hope the day thing helps.

[Buttons.]

Oh lovely...

[Cacoethes]

aparetnyly theycame about an hor ag but no answer at door.
im sue i was awake
but they said no answer at door
forgot hat messaage said

dnt kno w whats ging on

[[Luna]]

Beckie love, why is your typing like that?
Could you call them back?
Love you xx

[Cacoethes]

my head d is a mes

very sseleepy
i wnat to go to sleeo
just weird stuff ike a bee in a bumbleman suit and giant gavy bowl and unpactical umbrela id ontt know what any of his means

[talaiporia]

Beckie, do you think you could sleep some more?