Contains sexual abuse - Sexual difficulties *adult*

[not_so_insig]

Does anyone who has been SA have difficulty orgasming during sex? I was wondering because I do. I tried explaining it a few years ago to my SA counsellor, but she blamed it on the meds (I am on antipsychotics) and said to speak to my psych. I really dont want to talk to my psych because he's a male and I dont feel comfortable talking to him about the fact that I was SA. I have mentioned the fact that I was SA to my cpn but not the sexual difficulties.

I havent had sex for over 2 years now so it's not a big issue for me, but it recently occurred to me.

[in_BPD_hell]

Hi

I'm sorry to hear about your SA and difficulties. I was SA when I was younger. I had never had sex before, and then since then I have had difficulties too. I had a period of time when I was drinking heavily and sleeping around as I lost respect for myself and I never O once.

I found that I would never be able to 'let go' enough, I was always incredibly anxious and I would freeze.. so I could never orgasm. I met my husband 7 years ago and even with him it was pretty much like that for the first 5 years. However, I now manage to orgasm through 'other ways', so I just wanted to say, I know how you feel and I was told by one of my many therapists that it is normal to feel that way.

So I hope in time you find the person that makes you ooo!

xx

[Emmabob.]

I don't have any advice as such, I just want to say that orgasming through sex isn't all too common. the fact u can't doesn't make u weird or anything. x

[not_so_insig]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emmabob.

I don't have any advice as such, I just want to say that orgasming through sex isn't all too common. the fact u can't doesn't make u weird or anything. x

I used to, just not lately. In fact I remember doing it in front of my abuser.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks in bpd hell, it's makes me feel as though there's hope.

[beautiful_seclusion]

Could you tell your therapist that you don't feel comfortable talking to your psych? It very well could be the meds, but it also could be the abuse. Or both. Perhaps try and figure out what exact difficulties you have and write them down. Like is it only with sex that you can't? Or can you also not do it yourself? What about desire? Do you want to have sex? How do all of these things compare with before the abuse/before the meds? How much is this interfering with your life? And then talk to your therapist about these things, and maybe she can help you figure out the cause. And if she keeps blowing you off, you might want to find a new therapist. There can be a lot of reasons for a low sex drive or trouble orgasming, and one thing should not be assumed to be the culprit without actually trying to figure it out.

[not_so_insig]

Beautiful seclusion: I am not seeing a SA counsellor atm so I can't talk it through with anyone with the exception of my best friend who was SA.