I gained a lot of weight due to medication, and i'm currently trying to lose weight the healthy way, without purging or starving and i'm quite doing it, recovering from my bulimic ways. But my best friend is going back to hers, purging three times a day, not eating and becoming obsessed about it again. It just makes me want to go back to my old ways. My dad calls her the "skinny" friend and calls me fat daily, telling me I don't dress appropriately for my body and want to wear, and I quote "clothes that only fit skinny people, when i'm not skinny" and talking about binges like it's easy to not binge, commenting on my food daily, whenever I eat. I'm crying as typing this. I want to purge. And starve. Maybe I should start restricting again, when my dad goes back to work.
“Sometimes, the best way to help someone is just to be near them”
I know how terribly tempting it seems, but if you are getting somewhere in recovery (and truly well done on holding back on purging) don't give it up if you possibly can. Is there any way you can talk to your dad about how he makes you feel or reach out to others for support?
I've had similar comments from my father in recovery times and it is so hard to stomach them. Don't give up if you can though
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
Hey lovely,
I'm so sorry you're struggling so much right now,, I'm so proud of you for trying not to act out on ED behaviors, that shows a lot of strength & you seriously deserve a huge high five. *High fives*
I'm sorry to hear your friend is struggling too. Eating Disorders are competitive in nature so its not surprising you're finding being around her very triggering. Do you have other friends? Are you able to be around them at the moment?, Are you getting any other support for your Bulimia?
Maybe, if you feel able, you could have a little chat with your friend & explain you're trying your damn best to not engage in ED behaviors & you'd prefer if she didn't talk about them while you're around? I know that might sound harsh, but sometimes you do have to put yourself first, don't let others jeopardize your future well being.
As for your dad, ignore him. He clearly has no knowledge of Bulimia, or eating disorders in general. It must be extremely hurtful to hear the comments he makes *hugs*, Does he know about your Bulimia? If so, perhaps you could try & educate him a little? Point out whats unhelpful & what you find helpful? If ou just point out what he's doing wrong he might get defensive, but if you also point out helpful ideas he'll feel less 'attacked' in a way. Does that make sense?
I understand how hard & uncontrollable binging can be, but it can be delt with, as I said before, you have a huge amount of strength & that's admirable. Do you have any strategies to help you get through urges to binge or purge etc.? Distractions? A support network?
I told my best friend how I was triggered to start restricting again, after a couple of days of restricting and having a breakdown over almost purging after so long. She was helpful. And she prevented me from buying more diet pills, so that was good. I guess. I'm going to my psychologist tomorrow, but i'm scared of telling her because deep down i want to keep restricting... and i'm quite in a dilemma because I was to be thin, but I don't want to ruin all these progress. Thank for the help guys <3
“Sometimes, the best way to help someone is just to be near them”
Being around triggering people, especially triggering friends, is so difficult. I think everyone in recovery would agree with that. Just remember restricting and purging don't solve ANYTHING and just make you more miserable in the end. You need to do something about your dad though because he's not helping your situations. If you have a therapist, which I hope you do, please consider taking him into a family session so your t can explain what's helpful and what's not.
I know when my fiance was confused about my cutting and eating disorder he asked for resources like pamphlets and articles that explained things better and that helped a lot.
