I definitely don't think you're being sensitive; that was a really unkind thing for them to say.
Do you think the crisis team can offer anything of use to you, or are they making things worse generally?
I'm so sorry you're struggling and I hope that things improve for you soon.
You say you feel ashamed about saying that you don't feel great because people have been proud of you for doing so well, but isn't admitting when you're struggling and asking for help part of recovery? I imagine those same people would be proud of you for being open as well :)
I am sorry to hear it didn't go well with the crisis team, the way they treated you was unfair and not right. You have nothing to be ashamed of, it is okay to ask for help. You don't always have to be strong. In fact it takes alot of strength and courage to admit that things aren't okay. Keep talking to us lovely <3
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
Sorry I haven't replied earlier in the day. It's been very difficult and spent a lot of time hibernating but think it was possibly the safest thing for me to do.
I saw the crisis team again tonight and they were a bit nicer. She seemed more aware of how low I was feeling and the potential risk. So I suppose I at least feel more reassured that if I need to call somebody tonight [up til midnight] I can call her.
With my care co-ordinator, she has basically told me she doesn't have the experience to care for me or has no idea what to do so unfortunately she isn't somebody I can talk to. When I try, she shuts me down.
Could you try to change CCs?
I wonder if there are things that she could be doing to be more helpful, and if so, if you could tell her so that she could try those things?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I know this probably sounds ridiculous but it is sadly true, there are no other CC's to swap to. I've spoken to my therapist about it and she looked in to it but because it's such a small team, there is nobody else. Some of them aren't willing to take me on because of my complex history and the rest have too many people on.
I've tried to speak to the current CC about what would be helpful but she tends to just stay quiet or change the subject.
I really feel sorry for her. I know I'm a difficult patient with a complex past and it must be frightening for her, especially if she doesn't have the experience. So it's hard because I like her as a person - she just can't do her job with me!
It sounds frustrating, but I think Wales is a bit more rural and sadly there is often poorer care in rural area because there are less staff/resources to swap with. Do you think it would help if you wrote stuff down?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I have written for my CC but she found it awkward and replied with "I don't know what to say".
However, in general I think I need to start writing more anyway. Even if it isn't being shown to anybody because I think lately I've had a tendency to hide everything that's going on, even from myself if that makes sense, so perhaps writing more again would be a bit of a release.
Thinking of you <3 and I'm always around if you need to talk.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
Today has been a little bit better thank you. Things have felt more manageable and I've managed to do most the chores that needed to do which helped me feel more productive.
Just trying to focus on keeping busy but not too busy if that makes sense?
Thank you everyone for your thoughts, it means a lot.
Oh Lottie, I'm sorry things are so difficult at the moment. You are such a kind, lovely person and you do not deserve any of this.
I'm glad things are a little more manageable today and you've managed to get some things done. Are you able to try to do nice things for yourself as well?
Sending lots of love xxx
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
The crisis team were absolutely disgusting towards you. I would report them, however I understand you are scared to do that in case of the reaction towards you for it, but I still think there should be consequences for their actions, especially considering the way they treated you.
I am glad that the next meeting with crisis went well, and that you can call them should you need support, which I think is a very good idea.
Maybe email support sites too if you feel unable to do so verbally? May help to have that kind of support?
Would it be possible to be referred to a different service maybe? If your service is unable to change to someone else?
I know you are going through so much right now, but please keep fighting, and keep going, you can get through this, I know it.
I find the crisis team to be hit and miss really. When I see them there are a couple of people who are really supportive and understand me, and the rest make me feel upset and frustrated because they demand things from me that I can't do, or dismiss how I'm feeling and suggest everything would be fine if only I did x, y or z.
It's great that you find writing a release- maybe you could carry a journal with you and write about things you notice, what comes into your head etc. My CC told me that if I wanted to write about something painful and didn't want it to seem to real then I could rip it up after and throw it away.
I don't know how it works where you live, but years ago when the only consultant psychiatrist at my CMHT made me cry and insulted me I put in a formal complaint about him and requested to see a different psychiatrist. Because he was the only consultant for my area I was referred to a consultant in the next area across, about 30 minutes away. I saw him regularly and he kept my team updated. Could you ask about something like that, except with a new CC/CPN?
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this hard time at the moment. I have not had a fabulous time with my local crisis team so I know how you feel. Please don't feel like you cannot reach out for help. Like all the other people that have posted on this tread, we all care a lot about you and we are here if you need us. Don't take the crisis teams attitude to heart, they are not very sensitive when they really need to be.
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
