Becca theres no need to be rude, Emma is honestly just using her common sense.
Also, you saying things like this although I know you are completely delusional, sets off my anxiety like no bloody other! Woman! :p Because I know NOTHING will happen, however you keep twisting this thought around in my head it's very icky.
You know i love you and care but I honestly struggle to see how you're some next jesus world saviour. And I really hope someone can offer you the correct help to get these thoughts under control. Or at least you could see it from other peoples points of view, for example what would you say to me. But assuming Emma is taking the piss out of you is pretty rude when she's legit just expressing how she feels about what you said.
I got a letter from when I saw the psych the other day and it said in the letter, this is an exact quote 'There were no delusional thoughts or abnormal beliefs. There were no abnormal perceptions. She has insight'
They know something is going on.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Well becca, there isn't anything anyone here can say to change those thoughts and I'm really sorry about that, I honestly am.
But I don't believe you, but theres nothing we can do about that except like above said, but wait. And I hope you work together with the services and stick to your meds.
how does Harry Potter come into this?!
And I can't just wait until it comes and goes.
Because then it would be too late
The services can't do anything because they know and they won't do anything about it. I don't know what they think about it. They either want me to carry on or stop me and I have no idea which one or why
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I know the story and everything, I just fail to see how it's relevant.
It's complicated. Certain things have to be done in certain ways on certain dates and if anyone else got their hands on the information that is stored in the chip that they put in my fucking brain when I was 15 then it all goes to hell.
I don't know Katie. I really don't.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I was in a similar situation last term. And you told me to take my medication properly, talk to the psych team and be very honest with HTT. You told me it was stress and such like.
Don't try and say you have nothing to be stressed about either, because you do. OU, Jasmine, and also, hacing nothing to do can cause boredom and thus stress.
The only thing that's stressing me out is that people don't take this stuff seriously. I am not stressed about anything else.
Your situation was very different and you got put on a medication for it.
I have been on pretty much every AP in the book and it's done nothing the psych admits that I don't have psychosis or delusions so what else can it be but real?!
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I can see why you think it's real but I don't think it is. When I was thinking it was 2007/London/conspiracies you clearly said it's not. I sometimes judge things by what multiple people are saying at any one time. If more than one person is saying similar things, especially when they don't know each other, then there is a good chance they are right and you are wrong.
What would it mean to you to change your mind about this? Would it feel unsafe?
But with things like it being 2007, there is actual evidence to prove that it's not true. There isn't evidence here.
Like I said earlier, I know things that I couldn't possibly have known because of the spirits/others.
And when they said that Jasmine would be taken into care, everyone (all the staff on the mother and baby ward and the consultant and the staff on the acute ward I was on upstairs) said that they wouldn't take Jasmine into care and they did.
The majority of people said it wouldn't happen, but the spirits/others said it would and it happened.
I'm not trying to convince people it's really happening, I just want people to consider the fact that it could be rather than dismissing me as delusional, which the psychiatrist didn't do as he explicitly stated that I wasn't delusional but he still wouldn't talk about the spirits/others, suggesting that he knows something.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I wasn't taking the piss. I genuinely thought that what you were saying sounded interesting. Delusional, yes, but interesting nonetheless.
Maybe, the psychiatrists report stated you were not delusional because they don't believe you actually believe what you're saying. I've known people to pretend to be delusional for 'attention' (for want of a better word) so maybe they think it's this?
I'm not saying you are lying or anything, before you bite my head off again.
Ok, I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, I can be a bit defensive sometimes...
I've known people to do that and it wouldn't surprise me if that's what they think. I'm not really bothered if they do think that really, it's better than them saying I'm delusional and drugging me up.
At the beginning, I had no reason to think they would take Jasmine into care, no one did. I was doing really well and there were no concerns about my mental health whatsoever. It was the spirits/others that said it.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I suppose it's possible. It doesn't matter anyway. People can believe me or not believe me and it doesn't make a difference. It just means that I can't explain the reasons for the things I do
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
The only thing that's stressing me out is that people don't take this stuff seriously. I am not stressed about anything else.
Your situation was very different and you got put on a medication for it.
I have been on pretty much every AP in the book and it's done nothing the psych admits that I don't have psychosis or delusions so what else can it be but real?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cacoethes
I'm not trying to convince people it's really happening, I just want people to consider the fact that it could be rather than dismissing me as delusional, which the psychiatrist didn't do as he explicitly stated that I wasn't delusional but he still wouldn't talk about the spirits/others, suggesting that he knows something.
Haven't we been through all of this before?
What is reality etc. etc.?!
What I genuinely do not understand is why you want psychiatrists, who are trained to search for hallucinations and delusions and/or due to lack of resources/specific beliefs about a supposed 'illness' don't want to not feed into any similar behaviours, to consider all this?
I have stated clearly in numerous other threads that I neither believe or disbelieve you. You need to find your reality and that might not necessarily fit mine but doesn't mean you are wrong. The only issue is finding a way to deal with your reality other than harming yourself and getting into this continuous tug of war between you and mental health professionals.
There are a lot people out there in the big wide world who believe that they hear voices, see things and believe they can predict the future - and I'm sure it can't all be happy and sunny either (like life generally). I find it bizarre that if you believe your spirits/others are real you are spending your time trying to get scientific doctor psychiatrists to consider it yet not spending time forming connections to those that may be open to what you believe to be your reality.
I'm not saying, as usual for clarity, that this shouldn't be distressing for you or dismissing your distress, because quite obviously you are really distressed by all this. I can understand how it must be very disorientating being told one things is 'normal' by mental health professionals but feeling and believing another. But why are you so desperate to make other people consider your reality yet not considerate enough to open your mind up to theirs? What if there isn't one true reality?!
For me, the issue has never boiled down to: are the spirits/others/Her real or not? That's like proving God exists....or ghosts or aliens - a lot of people believe a heck of a lot of different things on a huge spectrum.... For me, I feel you need serious help in being able to trust yourself because you often defend rigorously that it must be real yet seem to go in circles with mental health professionals trying to get them to believe you. From your various threads there are numerous other ways you seem to do this also, and not only relating to the Spirits/others.
I'm genuinely sorry you are so distressed and often feel the only way out of your pain is to kill or hurt yourself. I understand there are specific reasons why you may feel these are the only options, but these feelings, in themselves, are not unusual to a lot of people. I really, really hope you can see how much people can relate to you and how you can relate to their pain - once you strip away the mental health labels and all these ideas of what is 'reality'....
As always, just take care of yourself. It's fucking hard and I really get what it's like to have a voice that is not 'your' voice yelling at you constantly...perhaps not in the exact say way as you - but I do understand how overwhelming it is. Just as I understand how difficult it is to trust that you know yourself best. Perhaps it is a legacy of your years in hospital - that you've come to see psychiatrist as all-knowing protectors (in some form or another - sometimes perhaps in protecting 'your reality' they do not express it is a delusion so as to not let you stop thinking it's real so the Spirits/others can continue their 'plan' etc...)....but honestly they're only normal people like you and I.
Horrid isn't it. I want someone to give me a magic pill! And do not think I'm glibly saying all this, I have taken the time to reply to a lot of your threads. You may not like or believe what I have to say, and that's okay, but I hope you see I say all this with the best of intentions.
Last edited by CagedBird : 25-04-2014 at 11:35 PM.
