Is sooooo difficult. I'm experiencing problems on another forum with regard to this being told I'm just behaving like a silly kid etc and to do what I'm being bullied into by cmht and to grow up. Dbt Isn't what will help, I've done it before in private therapy and it just made things worse for me.
Maybe it's my fault for reaching out so much. I'm so upset since cmht dropped my social worker and cpn.
So folks any advice on being a self harmer and not being a teenager?
Just to be clear I do not think anyone, whatever their age is silly because they self harm. It's just what I'm getting from another forum and want advice.
They sound like idiots, you're better off not being on that forum from the sounds of things.
Is there anything else you can do that would help? Sometimes it takes a while to find something, I'm still trying now nearly 10 years later. My PM is always open if you want to talk :)
I find that forum good for issues relating to disability but I've never really had the self harm conversation there before, quite shocking. I've had it from drs and cpns too, how I'm too smart to self harm cos I went to uni and was a manager and stuff. Can't for the life of me understand why it should make a difference!
Hence asking the question really, helps in other areas too, not just online.
Wow, I can't believe that they would say something like that, they clearly don't have much understanding of it. Have you tried seeing a different doctor?
That was the most senior consultant. I think of all the staff I've spoken to about this very few have not responded in that way. The one dr who didn't left.
May be it's just them.
The theory seems to go you hit mid twenties and stop self harming as you are a grown up. I've even been told that getting married would prevent it or getting a job or going back to uni.
It's so great there's a vets section here and knowing I'm not the only person over twenty five who self harms. I'm in contact with an ex member here who was over forty for example.
I got threatened to be kicked out of a hostel I was living in for self harming and they were meant to help with things like that, I was about 21 at the time.
Have you made any complaints or anything? They don't seem to be acting very professionally at all.
That just seems like a load of rubbish. I would agree with the others and find a different forum.
I've been married for 5 years now, have 2 kids and a good job and I still self harm... so can disprove the marriage theory!
If anything in my experience it always seems to be the more intellectual people who self harm....
I don't think it's something that can be restricted to being a teenager. I think you've seen a bunch of health professionals who don't really have a clue. :\
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I know it is hard but try and ignore it if you can. Just shows their ignorance. Self-harm affects people of all ages, it does not discriminate by age. I am 28 and still self-harm
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
I think it's true about lack of experience, once a therapist gave me a textbook about it to show why I did it - he didn't understand it can be for a variety of reasons, and, not necessarily what his textbook said. I've had similar problems with other conditions and textbooks, it seems to take quite a bit for some people to engage their brains and realise that people do vary!
Being an adult self harmer can be tough and people can be idiots about it. My ex told me to grow up and stop being immature and cutting myself when I broke up with her. I've talked about it at work and I've gotten strange looks when I said I had done it recently once... I'm sorry that even the professionals are giving you a hard time...They didn't get the proper training and that's on them. I hope things get better for you soon. You are not alone. It is not a childish, faze, whatever else they want to say about it...It's a serious addiction. Age doesn't matter. It doesn't make you childish or whatever else they want to say about you ....
Big Sister:Squiggles Little Sister: PaintItBlack Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz
I've heard that one before - surely a bright girl like you knows that cutting yourself isnt going to make anything better? Ignore it, it's peoples ignorance. I am in a job that requires a lot of responsibility, I am also married and will be 26 this year- none of these things mean that I can stop myself slipping up.
What is your CMHT currently offering? I;m sorry DBT didn't help, it was the real turn around for me- took nearly 2 years to complete but it allowed me to gain real control over my SH x
' Your always going to have the hurt, you may as well use it'
'Writing can be a way of righting any wrongs that have been done to you'
'Scars tell a story of where u have been, but they dont have to dictate where u are going'
Nothing. If I phone they don't return call. My gp rang concerned, ignored. Nhsdirect, ignored. Landlord, who said they will evict due to problems I'm having if I am not supported, ignored. A&e rang, ignored. Patient complaints rang, ignored.
It's dbt And cured or nothing.
'Dbt always works, only fails if you don't try' So do it again, I have no money to do it again and I found it just made things worse. They can't be trusted to help me.
They don't believe what I go through anyway so I'm in an impossible situation. They told me I'm not disabled physically, my physic drs said I definitely am and psychotherapy definitely won't cure my genetic illnesses, cmht rejected the drs opinion saying as far as they are concerned I'm exaggerating disability like I do mh needs. However, my drs say it's the other way around. I spent over 30 years being told Physically fit and healthy to then discover I am anything but, proving i didn't lie or exaggerate (actually they said I must be in more pain than I report) so why won't cmht believe me? It's got quite nasty and now no drs, including gp will discuss my needs as a disabled person with cmht.
And all because I behave like a kid and sh.
On a side note, can you imagine being a teenager and told things would disappear when you are an adult or have a job and then finding it doesn't? I'm pretty sure that's what they tell teenagers.
Sorry, I'm struggling to concentrate on reading just now (wine&meds never a good mix). However, just wanted to say, I'm 27, I SH and didn't as a teenager, it's not just a teenage thing. I hate that judgment, like oh you're a certain age you should have grown out of it. It's like f* off, I haven't grown out of my epilepsy, this isn't something that disappears when you become an "adult" or get married. Sorry about my poorly worded rant xx
Age and marriage make no difference. I'm 40, married for almost 20 years to a wonderful man, have a good job and am highly educated- still self harm. I didn't start until I was 17- I hate all of the assumptions that once you get through adolescence- the urge to SH just ends. I wish it was that easy! You are not alone.
"Even in laughter the heart may be sorrowful and that joy may end in grief."
