Triggering (SI) - I don't know anymore

[Amadeus]

It hurts, so much, but not enough. On and off, for the last several weeks, before I fall asleep, I just think about pushing that blade deeper and deeper ...... until it bleeds and bleeds and hurts and hurts. I almost did it, I cut my leg, but its so shallow, it hurts, don't get me wrong, but I want to cut deeper and deeper, it blocks out the pain for a little while, but then it just turns into an ache in my leg and my ankle and it doesn't help anymore. Then I have to hide it all, which is not going to be easy this time. But it doesn't hurt enough. I've thought about slamming my hand into the wall again and again .... but lets face it, that would be loud and might attract some attetation. My leg hurts me, but not enough, and I might cut again, but I know I'm so far gone right now because I don't care if I do.

I feel cold as a razor blade
Tight as a tourniquet
Dry as a funeral drum

[quautia]

I'm sorry that you feel like that. I wish I could say something that would help. Are you getting any progessional help?

[sopranonut]

I don't really know what to say other than i'm so sorry you're feeling so bad and that i'm thinking of you. How are you feeling today?

[Strict Machine]

I know how this feels. I cant really offer you much help, but I wanted you to know that you're not alone.

[this too shall pass]

im so sorry you feel this way ive been ther does the incideental pain of clothing or touch help at all?
if not go to your nearest mind they will point you in the right direction for true help in my area ive had great help from the "south essex partnership trust" in the uk which has a brilliant mental health service who r on call 24/7 unfortuately i didnt find them till i was at deaths door but now i cnt go a day without thier help and support pls look into what is available before you get to that point pls pls if ur in the uk go to ur local hospital they'll know what help you can get