I only ever maybe liked my hair and I've ruined that today through excessive colouring and a terrible cut. And I'm overweight. And it's not just physical, I'm lazy and all around I don't think I'm a very nice person. Sometimes I think I'm intelligent because of where I've got in my degree but I'm really not, to be honest. And it's frightening.
Anyway, I'm getting so tired of hating every aspect about myself. I think of harming myself consistently.
I think of killing myself a lot. I can't afford to see my psychologist though. But I am seeing my psychiatrist this week but she just tells me to go on shake diets.
Not really sure what to do. Not even sure how you can help. Just wanted to share my thoughts.
Last edited by Snow White. : 03-02-2014 at 01:14 PM.
I'm so sorry you are feeling like this Aimee. I know how it feels to hate yourself like this. It is exhausting. I wish I could give you the cure, I wish there was a cure.
I can tell you I think you are amazing, kind, caring, intelligent person. You have it in you to be truly remarkable. I know these words may not break through the barrage of negative things your mind is saying to you right now. But I 100% believe they are true and the things your mind is telling you about yourself are wrong.
For me the main thing that helps the thoughts go away is to improve my mood and often for that I need time. I treat myself too, stationary usually, pretty pens and paper. I surround myself with people I know like me, I like them too, I trust them, I trust their opinions and as much as I hate myself in these moments I hold on to these thoughts. If they can see something good in me and they mean that much to me maybe that is the first little nugget of positivity I can let in "I can't be that bad X thinks Y about me"
I'm rambling, not sure if I'm helping I just couldn't read this and not respond.
If it helps, when I see your posts and see you on facebook I always think to myself what a gorgeous, caring and intelligent person you are! Honestly. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better.
If you really dislike your appearance then it can be changed by getting new clothes, losing weight or growing/changing your hair, but I think really you need to learn to love yourself first, otherwise you might spend years trying to change your physical appearance and never being content.
Can you stick some post-it notes on your mirror? Write some things that you do like about yourself (or maybe hate just a bit less). For example I think you have a lovely smile- you could start off with that. I also think you have gorgeous hair and a great figure.
Please stay safe xxx
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
From what I've seen of you around this place, you're a wonderful person.
Thinking of you.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
Thank you all for the kind words and advice. I really appreciate it. I like the post it note idea, I could do that. And Sarah (Sherlock) Thanks for the comments about my Facebook :3 Sarah tiptoes I really appreciate your ideas. I like to treat myself with stationery too so I think I'll do that tomorrow. I do trust what you both say so heating nice things from you helps. Same goes for Amy and Katie, so thank you.
I'm feeling very down tonight. I actually feel a bit suicidal. Even though I had a pretty good day. I just feel overwhelmed and like now is a good time to act on it. I should maybe do something to cheer myself up. All I've done since being home is eat a great lot of chocolate biscuits.
I don't even know what to do to cheer myself up right now.
Please help, please say anything.
Last edited by Snow White. : 05-02-2014 at 09:43 AM.
I have read a few of your posts here and there around the board, and I always think you seem like someone I would like to be friends with. You just seem so kind, thoughtful, and interesting. I wish there were something I could do to help. It saddens me to know that you are suffering so much :(
I have read a few of your posts here and there around the board, and I always think you seem like someone I would like to be friends with.*
That is so lovely, I always think the same about you!
It means a great deal that you have replied to my post so that has helped, thank you
I did message my brother and a friend to just chat. I need to pop out to a corner shop so I've worked up the energy for that and then I might snuggle in bed with a textbook and a heat pack and by dog.
Last edited by Snow White. : 05-02-2014 at 10:21 AM.
Well, feel free to pm me any time, sometimes just having someone to chat to for distraction or ranting can help!
Are there some small changes that you could start making to help you feel happier with yourself. What might make you happier with yourself?
Also, remember, your hair will grow back! Make sure you are moisturising it well, massage your scalp whenever you wash your hair, and drink plenty of water (and eat well!). That will encourage hair growth. See if you could get a hairdresser to do a little fixing up, perhaps.
I've not really got anything to add to what people have said above, but I just wanted to let you know that you're a lovely person & I really wish you can see yourself in a nicer light one day. *sends cuddles*
Try to do something nice for yourself today - snuggling up in bed is always a good idea.
I found it helpful when I used my full length mirror and if I put them in certain places where I hated most on my body so instead of seeing that part I had nice things written.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
