Triggering (SI) - Planning ahead to SI *ED trigs too*
I don't post here very often. In fact, i don't think i've ever posted in this board as when i joined my ED had replaced my SI.
However now i'm finding that as my ED gets better my SI is rearing its head again. I know this is 'common' and my question doesn't really relate to this.
I'm wondering if anyone else consciously plans to cut ahead of time? I've been thinking all day at the back of my mind that tomorrow morning i'm going to SI for the first time in a long time. I have absolutely no temptation to SI at the moment, but for some reason i'm overwhelmed with the desire to do it tomorrow.
This is really strange for me, because my SI has always been on impulse in the past, and i don't understand my feelings at the moment.
I'm wondering if it's because i'm so used to me ED behaviours being planned rather than on impulse, and whether this is transferring to the SI.
Yeah. I find it difficult because my parents know about it, so I plan ahead just because I know certain times of the day they wont be here, or at night when they will be asleep I wont get interupted. It's also used as something to.. I don't know, look forward to doesn't seem like the right word.. but anyway, my answers yes, I do the same.
Sarchasm, the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it
I also used to do this and as odd as it sounds it used to help me get through the day as if i knew later i can relieve the way im feeling so it would help me get through whatever i was doing at the time, it does sound kind of like your replacing one thing with another.
take care
I've done that...
I agree, though, it does sound kind of like the habit of planning went from the ED to SI.
Could you try planning to be keeping yourself busy with distractions or homework or whatever's convenient when you start planning when you're going to SI? I guess that doesn't work as well as using distractions to beat sudden urges, but if you were otherwise occupied maybe it would be easier to avoid hurting yourself?
Take care! Hope you're okay.
<3
Katie
I have to have had something happen. If I can't do it at the exact moment for whatever reason, I'll plan on doing it at a latter time when I know no one is going to be around.
Sometimes, you have to try more than once.
Alice came to a fork in the road
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "It doesn't matter."
no, actually i've never really planned ahead. I normally rush into my room, grab a little medication bottle that has new razors in it, and s-injure.
I have had times where i've been craving it for months, and kept on putting it off, then one day just caving in and s-injuring though....
Good bye to everyone on RYL, for various reasons im leaving this site and i will never return. This may make some of you happy, and others sad. Im not leaving because of the members... Good bye and have a nice life
i plan every day, someone mentioned previously they do it at night, as "something to look foward to" well thats what i do. anything that goes wrong in the day i grit my teeth and bear it till the night.
your not alone on this one, but im not sure about it being a transfer of your ED behaviours, sori.
yes ido, its bad, but only when i haven si in a while then i cant stop thinking about it and i plan it.....i really need to rigth now....i dunno, its bad
in other traditions demons are expelled externally, but in my tradition demons are accepted with compassion. - Machik Labdron
they were perfect, they were beautiful. they met in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of nothing, and kissed where everyone could see. no words. no before. no after. they kissed and it was perfect. it was beautiful. it was everything. it was nothing.
However, I usually try and "ruin" those plans by finding something else to do during the time that I had been wanting to SI, such as going out with friends or going somewhere out in public where it wouldn't be acceptable.
Although I don't have an ED, I find that I am doing this alot. I don't know why, and I think it's because of my paranoia, and I feel that if I can find a better time of day to do it I can hide it, and it won't be so obvious. Hun, you're not the only one!
i plan my SI way in advaced...i have to clear my schedual if i plan to SI because i promised my therapist that if i was going to SI then i would seek medical attention(stiches). so i guess i have reasons for planning my SI though...its all about control though...which seems to be a common factor with ED as well....control is control no matter where you get it i guess..but no...your not alone in the whole planning it out thing...
