Not sure if I'm broken or not

[Wolfir]

I feel almost like I'll two people. I sometimes hear voices in my head, feel a pain that just can't be real. I don't let myself be close to people and tell them because I'm afraid they'll think I'm a freak which is what I feel like sometimes. I've gone to one of my friends and asked him to cut me and beat me. I feel like I deserve to be treated like that. I want to be hit, broken, hurt, bleed. Something to make it stop. If it wouldn't bother people I love and my family so much I think I'd have killed myself by now. I just want this internal pain to stop.

[Patent Pending]

Hi there.

Sorry you're feeling so distressed right now. It sounds like the thoughts/feelings really affect you.

I can understand the feeling of keeping a distance from people because of behaviour at times. I lived for years like that. You need to keep reminding yourself the you don't deserve to be treated that way. No one does.

It's good you have reasons to keep fighting...that's important. Try to hold on to that.

x x x

[Wolfir]

I try but he doesn't understand when I try to talk to him about it I almost brake down and I don't know how to let him in. I just know if I want to be hurt he's there xx

[ItRemainsUnseen]

Babe, I gotta tell you ... I feel the same. Except I feel like I'm 5 different people. I'm not going to tell you its going to be ok or you'll get over it or all that other ****. Those voices in your head are you. Just different versions of you. Maybe you don't like the version you got stuck with. I sure don't. Maybe you don't like those other versions hounding you to be better all the time. I sure don't. I can only say you are not alone.

I really hate when people give me advice to get better. Because it never works. Ever. So I just want to say.... you are not alone. There are others like you struggling with the same ****.

[Wolfir]

Thank you. It means a lot that I'm not alone