I really hope this doesn't sound hypocritical, but in my future I really want to be a counselor who works with teenagers. I am dealing with my own issues first, and I know how important that is. But it has been my dream to help teenagers and I want to work through my own things so that I can help others.
All of that being said, I have a few scars on my arms. I'm trying really hard not to put any more there. But if I do become a counselor and ever help someone with self harm, do I need to cover them? I'm thinking about tattoos to cover them. I figure the teenagers won't mind those.
Also, has anyone had a counselor who used to self harm? If so, did you find it more helpful than one who hadn't, or possibly the other way around?
Hi! I just wanted to reply to say I'm sort of in the same situation - I want to become a clinical psychologist and I have scarring on my arms so I'm wondering how that will play out in future.
I've never had a counsellor who self-harmed but I did have a doctor who used to. She was wonderful and I really felt like she understood me and wanted to help me, which can be hard to find in a GP. It helped me relate to her in a big way. I'd stopped self-harming at that point though, and maybe if I'd still been in the grips of the addiction it might have been a different story.
Hi there, I was thinking about this last night, oddly enough! I personally would have no problem with having a counsellor who was an ex-self harmer. I was thinking, though, that I would have an issue with a counsellor who was practicing whilst actively unwell/actively engaging in self harming behaviours. As it seems that you're completely aware, it's important to work through your own issues before becoming a counsellor, or, have good enough boundaries to be able to look after yourself when vulnerable.
I'm going off tangent, because I know this wasn't your question, but I've known therapists and nurses before who've had mental health problems, and the most important thing was that they recognised when they needed time off to recover (as anyone can relapse at any point) or other things put in place in order to safely practice.
As far as self harm scars go, I think it'd be worth discussing with your colleagues, as I wonder if different places might have different policies, and it's always worth thinking about if you have supervision/sensitivity sessions. If it was me, I wouldn't show my scars as I wouldn't want visual reminders of my past to have that sort of influence on our therapy sessions. Also I think clients' responses could go either way - some might feel triggered or uncomfortable; others might feel reassured and understood. I think that at the end of the day, though, it's your choice. If you do choose to show scars, do be open to questions about them. If you choose tattoos, make sure that you want them and are happy with them :)
I have had two counselors that have had scars on their arms and also a teacher that was a mentor to me. I don't think its a bad thing. AT ALL. Teenagers are more likely to open up and talk to people who have been in the same situations and know what they're going through rather than someone who's just read all the pages of a book!
Anyone can have a degree, only few actually have the qualifications to become a real, helpful counselor.
The very first time I saw my current worker we talked about self-injury. I said that only crazy people cut to which he asked if he looked crazy and I said no. He then rolled up his sleeves and showed me the scars from his suicide attempt.
I think as long as you don't bring it up all the time and only do it to help your client then it's all good.
It's the children the world almost breaks that grow up to save it.
-Frank Warren
One of the nurses in the psych ward that I was in had lots of scars and she was the best nurse there. You understand what it's like to go through those things which make you self harm.
My DBT therapist had scars on her arm and wrist...I found it reassuring tbh.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
Thank you guys so much! This really did help me a lot. I guess sometimes I get nervous that because I've dealt with something like this I wouldn't make a good counselor, but I think you're right in saying that my experiences could help. I know what it's like to talk to people that haven't and sometimes it can be hard when they don't understand.
Anyway, thank you for sharing your experiences with me. :)
Thank you guys so much! This really did help me a lot. I guess sometimes I get nervous that because I've dealt with something like this I wouldn't make a good counselor, but I think you're right in saying that my experiences could help. I know what it's like to talk to people that haven't and sometimes it can be hard when they don't understand.
Anyway, thank you for sharing your experiences with me. :)
Hey I just wanted to let you know that I am dealing with the same situation. Being a psych major and wanting to be a counselor worries me because of my scars, but it'll be okay. :)
I'm not a registered therapist but I do volunteer for a telephone helpline. Where it's relevant I find that sharing that I- and others I know- have experiences with mental health and so far people have found that reassuring. I don't go too deep into my experiences and definitely make sure that if I'm having a bad day I don't go on the phones. I don't think that scars or experiences are bad and I have had counsellors share their experiences with me when I've been in a bad place- for me it has only helped
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
To give a different perspective, I would feel extremely uncomfortable about seeing a counsellor who had scars on show, I'm not sure that I actually would be able to work with them. I have had counsellors / nurses share their experience with me before and have found it helpful but I would feel weird about talking to them with their scars on show. I think I would find it hard to focus on my own stuff, and I would certainly feel uncomfortable talking about self harm.
Of course, it isn't a bad thing, and my issues with it are my own issues. But just to be aware that not everyone will be okay with it.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
I work as a mental health nurse in a teenage psych ward & I have scars on my arms from a few years ago. Some of the patients find it easier to talk to me than any other nurse because I've been through the same thing as them, & ultimately I'm in a better position to understand how they are feeling. I don't think it's a bad thing. x
Thank you all for your perspectives, it really means a lot to me. :)
Starling I can definitely see your point and where you are coming from. I think I will be careful and hopefully have a tattoo covering them by then. I wouldn't want to distract anyone from their own recovery.
I'm glad to hear that a lot of your personal experiences have helped other people. I hope my story can help others a well.
**Hugs to all!**
Nobody said it was easy.
No one ever said it would be this hard.
i agree with what other people have said. I think if a teenager knew the person they were talking to had gone through the same things they would feel they were being understood so much more.
I havent had any experience with a nurse/doctor who self harmed. However when I was an inpatient in a psych ward another one of the patients there used to work for a charity called Mind as a self harm worker person. He gave talks to people who didnt self harm so they understood it better. At the time he was working he wasnt currently harming himself, and I think this is the important point. Whatever has happened previously in your life only adds experience to you, but you need to be well, especially in a job where its close to home.
I get the feeling that at one point in her life, my therapist self harmed. She's said several things that lead me to believe we have a lot more in common than I think in that department, although I've never seen scars.
That said, if I were a teen and had a counselor, psychologist, etc, who had scars, I would be comforted. I would feel safe knowing I was speaking to someone who "gets it" and would be way more inclined to listen and give consideration to their advice. I'm in my mid-twenties I say that and am certain I would have said the same years ago!
It's up to you if you want to cover them, but if I were in your situation I wouldn't... I might even hope to silently reach a patient who noticed my scars one session and took comfort in knowing who they were speaking to had once been in their shoes.
I would have no problem if a counsellor had scars. I think it would actually make them easier to talk to because I think they would understand more. It's different when you've got a history of the illness you are treating, more empathy.
It's great that so many of you have had experiences with therapists/counsellors who have scars on their arms or have indicated that they may have self harmed in the past. I'm a counsellor myself and have self harmed. I do show my scars, although they are probably not visible unless you were looking for them.
I am curious that I have rarely met a counsellor who has said they self harm and wonder whether it is too much of a taboo still to admit?
I am really interested in this area and am doing a research project on the experiences of therapy for people who self harm. If you fancy doing my survey and adding your voice to this I would be grateful:
I had a CPN who has schizophrenia, on the same meds as me who self harmed. I found her very easy to talk to. My parents also knew this and were completely fine with it too x
And if your thoughts should turn to death, you gotta stub them out like a cigarette..
