What is wrong with me??

[SoSimple]

I'm sorry I'm writing this. I'm trying to keep myself from exploding. I'm supposed to be quitting and I can't even do that right.
I just don't want to be this way anymore. I don't want to remember. I don't want to work it out. I just want to hide away.
What if remembering confirms the way I feel? Or worse, what if it doesn't? I had the chance to forget. I pretended for so long. I should have stayed that way. Great job. All you had to do was forget.
It hurts so much more than what I'm doing to myself.
Thinking about stopping is my trigger. Really? Idk what to do with that.

Someone please tell me I will be okay!

I just want to be done.

[Patent Pending]

Hey honey,

You will be okay.

These thoughts can be overwhelming and can seem like they are so much bigger and stronger than you...but they're not. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. Ys, ideally you'd be able to quit cold turkey and never think of it all again...but realistically it takes time and a lot of work.

Try breaking it down into manageable pieces...i.e try to go say, two days, without SHing. Then make another aim.

It's tough when your thoughts seem to be your worst enemy but things will get easier.

x x x

[SoSimple]

Thank you so much for all of your support.

I know I'm just afraid but it helps knowing that other people have been there as well. I can't wait for this to be over.

[LegoGirl]

It's difficult because it's worth it. How cheesy does that sound? :) but it's true!

This is a huge deal for you so of course it's going to be a big massive fight,, don't blame yourself or feel down in yourself for finding it hard, you'll be okay, just take it a little bit at a time.

[SoSimple]

Thank you LegoGirl, you are right. I think I underestimated how difficult of a fight this would be. Thank you for your encouragement. :)

[Belt]

Quitting is incredibly difficult. Not because you're 'weak' or 'broken' but because self-harm is a fantastic coping mechanism that requires no peer support, emotional understanding or (much) physical extortion. Remember not everyone can 'quit' some people (myself included) continue to self-harm because it's unsafe for them to do otherwise. Quitting for me has meant lessening the severity and frequency of my self-harm (to maybe once or twice a month) and that's what works for me. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, you are undoubtedly going to relapse at some point or another and that's totally okay. What matters is that you are trying to find a new coping mechanism. What are you going to do instead of hurting yourself?