what would make you ugly? what would make you fail?.... would those things make you think that other people were ugly or failures?.... it sounds like a fair amount of this pain is coming from not being in a relationship, and that you see being in a relationship as necessary for being a good person, or as proof of something positive. but the truth is that a relationship is neither of those. its just one of a whole ton of things that can make life full and meaningful. people actually tend to get good relationships when their life is meaningful and satisfying without desperately needing someone else, because that is when they are confident and ready to stick up for themselves, have passions to talk about, and will hold out for a healthy relationship (if you go into a relationship desperately needing someone, it leaves a lot of room for them to become abusive, or just to develop a very unbalance relationship that eventually collapses)... i've got to agree with Kiki's last statement, but i'd actually make it a little stronger: there IS a relationship you need to be working on right now, the one with yourself. because if you don't have a good relationship with yourself, you're not going to have a good one with anyone else
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