i cant do this anymore. i really really really cant and i dont think ill last the night. everything from this past year is building and building and building and its finally pushing me to the edge.
everything hurts. my entire body hurts. all i want to do is sleep. im tired and i want the feelings to go away.
my skin is burning i need to cut so badly. i dont know why i like the feeling but it never hurts. it feels like home
it feels almost like love.
my entire body feels sad. i know it makes no sense. it's just... that feeling in your eyes when you know you're about to cry. thats how i feel all over.
i want it gone. i want to be gone. i wish i was never born.
i don't want to die i just know i cant carry on like this
im fat and im ugly and im horrible and i hate myself. i deserve this. i fucking deserve to die
I know you know that we could do more but we just don't...
You're not horrible :( do you hate yourself for feeling this way or is it something else? I take it a lot happened that past year, do you want to talk about some of the things pushing you to the edge? I hope you stay safe tonight or that you contact someone who you feel will help you stay safe xx
"I Desire The Things Which Will Destroy Me In The End"
-Sylvia Plath
what are other things that feel like love? how would you show love to someone else?... try to do those things for yourself
i hope you made it through the night, i really really do *hug*
i get the whole body wanting to cry feeling... for me it feels like pressure behind my eyes, and the rest of my body just heavy but sorta tingling too... really unpleasant. but it has always eventually gone away for me (sometimes after i let myself have a really good long cry)
i don't think that youre fat, ugly, or horrible... but even if you were, i don't think that you'd deserve to die... i mean, would you tell someone else who was overweight, not so pretty, and sometimes unpleasant that they deserved to die for that? that for those three things, they are just as bad as a mass murderer on death row?.... i think not, right... why would you give so much compassion to someone else in your position, but none to yourself... my bet is the answer is because you hate yourself, and you don't hate other people. but think about it, how do you change hatred for someone? not by hiding away from them, or punishing them. if you hate someone unreasonably (which your hate for yourself is) that hate is only going to go away if you spend time with them, treat them well, and come to see and appreciate their good qualities... you've got to do the same for yourself
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
Hi there. How are you doing now? I really hope that you managed to look after yourself and stay safe. I know things probably seem really difficult right now, and like things won't get better, but you can get through this.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I'm glad that you got through the night, but sorry that you felt the need to self harm badly. It's good that you managed to get yourself seen to and treated appropriately though. Did the medics who treated you suggest anything in terms of support? Do you have a mental health team or a therapist who you could speak to at all about how bad things have got?
As said above, if you feel you need to talk about the things which you feel are pushing you to the edge, remember that we are here to listen and support you.
I'm really sorry to hear you were diagnosed with HIV, how are you holding up with the news? Just because you haven't found love yet it doesnt mean it's not out there waiting for you :) When you say it's never enough do you mean for you or for others?
"I Desire The Things Which Will Destroy Me In The End"
-Sylvia Plath
