How old were you when you started to Self Injure? 13-14
How do you SI? Cut
Do you try to hide it? How? Yes, wear long sleeves
Why do you SI? What do you get out of it? To punish myself for being a faiulure, relieve stress, guilt, anger etc...
Have you ever told anyone that you SI? If yes, who did you tell and how did they react? How did you tell them? Yes, i've just recently come out infront of my Perfroming arts class...I asked my teacher if i could spend 10 minutes at the end of lesson to speak 2 them about my S/I so it wouldn't b as much of a shock when and IF i finally come to class with short sleeves.
Did you ever seek professional help for SI? If yes, did it help you? Yer kinda and NO! i felt guitly for wasting peoples time!!!
Did you ever want to seek help but didn’t? If yes why didn’t you? I feel at the current moment i need help, but i'm affraid i will be made to go hospital, also i don't believe i deserve peoples time and attnetion.
Have you ever been diagnosed with a psych disorder? If yes, which one? Do you think there is a connection between the disorder and your SI? I have A LOT of anger mostly towards myself, i suffer with depression and started S/H to deal with my issues around food.
Have you ever SI with the intent of suicide? No
If you have been to the hospital for SI, how did the staff treat you? Stiched me up and sent me home...OH and informed the school *grrrr*
Did you ever want to quit SI? Please explain both yes and no answers. If you did decide to try to quit about how long after you started to SI did you decide you wanted to quit? What did you try to do to quit? What helped and what did not? I've been self harming for just over 5 years now, there have plenty been times when i've tried to stop but i often tend to relaps. I stopped S/H when i joined college and lasted for just over a year...Because of my scars i feel that this has jeopardised my chances of becoming a professional dancer and this has resulted in me S/H again...i am currently trying 2 quit and have spoken to teachers and councesllors in seek of help
Do you think SI should be categorized as disorder in itself? No i feel it's a way of coping, dealing with issues and underlining problems
Did your SI injury get worse with time or did it stay about the same? Worse
If you could find healthier ways that would give you the same effects of SI, would you stop SIing and replace it with the healthier alternative? I doubt it
Did you ever regret SI? i regret it nearly every day of my life, i feel it has jeopardised my future, job chances, relationships etc... but at the same time in ways i believe it has helped my to grow. meh
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’? Maybe for some... but i feel S/I is often very personal and is a secretive act.
State any comments about this questionnaire or suggestions to make it better if you like
State any additional comments or if you feel you want to say something that wasn’t addressed in this questionnaire.
Mostly cutting. I have also burnt, scratched and hit myself
I don't hide my scars. If I had fresh cuts I would hide them by doing them where (I hope) no one would see.
It can calm me down..after 6 years I'm still not really sure to be honest
My friends knew, can't really remember how they knew, some thought I was a complete idiot some were a little more understanding. I had a friend who had an ED and also self harmed who tried to help me. I had a boyfried who self harmed and we just kind of accepted it in each other and didn't try and make each other stop.
No
I didn't really think anyone could help me or make me stop apart from myself
Depression and Anxiety. I suppose there must be some kind of link. Surely if there wasn't something wrong with me I wouldn't need to do it?
I tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose. When cutting myself I never think it's goig to kill me. Although self harm and suicide can be closely linked they are completely seperate actions with different purposes and expected outcomes.
N/A
I wanted to quit SI a few weeks after I started but couldn't. Sometimes I'd stop for a few days or weeks but then start again. To try and stop I looked up tips and alternatives on the internet, for example I'd put my tools in a matchbox and wrap it up in cellotape and elastic bands. I stopped for two years because I really was ready to do it, which meant even though I still got the urges, it was easier to ignore them.
Not really. I think it's more of a symptom of a problem.
It got much worse.
I'd try it.
Did you ever regret SI? Most times I did it. But looking back it's what I had to do to cope. I'm covered in scars but that rarely bothers me.
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’? Errrmm I'm not sure. I think a lot of "awareness" about the subject today comes from t.v programmes like Hollyoaks and doesn't cover any real understanding of the problem and can just lead to self harmers being stereotyped further.
Have you ever told anyone that you SI? If yes, who did you tell and how did they react? How did you tell them?
Mum. Councillors, pycyhtrist have all been beneficial tyo my recovery
Did you ever seek professional help for SI? If yes, did it help you?
I told professionals but I recovered on my own although being in hospital for 5 days and not being able to harm helped
Did you ever want to seek help but didn’t? If yes why didn’t you?
N/a
Have you ever been diagnosed with a psych disorder? If yes, which one? Do you think there is a connection between the disorder and your SI?
I have clinical depression and pychosis I think there is a link
Have you ever SI with the intent of suicide?
Yes ive4 taken overdoses slashed my wrists and tried to hang myself all with the intention of death n been left with se3rious injuries
If you have been to the hospital for SI, how did the staff treat you?
Well no 1 refered to my SI
Did you ever want to quit SI? Please explain both yes and no answers. If you did decide to try to quit about how long after you started to SI did you decide you wanted to quit? What did you try to do to quit? What helped and what did not?
I quit for ten months after 6 years of doing so I wanted to quit for myself but being unable to for five days in hospital helped me to quit also I had the support odf my case worker aqnd pyschiatrist
Do you think SI should be categorized as disorder in itself?
yes
Did your SI injury get worse with time or did it stay about the same?
Got deeper and longer
If you could find healthier ways that would give you the same effects of SI, would you stop SIing and replace it with the healthier alternative?
No I rely on it, I think im addicted
Did you ever regret SI?
when it went to deep
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’?
Thers not enough coverage or positive attidute towards it like there isd to EDs
State any comments about this questionnaire or suggestions to make it better if you like
State any additional comments or if you feel you want to say something that wasn’t addressed in this questionnaire.
Yes. When I was in the peak of my self harm 2004/5 I would generally only wear long sleeves and covered the gashes with arm socks, sweat bands, anything I could. I also used to cut on my legs which were easily covered by trousers, until they began to get really big and bad and showed through my tights when I did ballet, so I stopped that
When I used to self harm religiously, there were lots of reasons. The main one I guess was trying to find a reason, trying to find a meaning to everything. I was 13/14 and feeling so lost and alone in the world, and SI made me know that I could feel and that I was in control. It was like I could see the hurt and fear being purged from beneath my skin, and those precious minutes where it was just me and a blade were my sancitity, the only time in the world that I could feel vulnerable. Putting my sweatbands back on was like putting back my armour on, I continue being strong and brave to the outside world. Now however, things are different. I hadn't cut for over 18 months until a couple of weeks ago, and now I just keep going over and over the cuts to make sure they scar. The motive this time is very different. It's not an expression of the turmoil within, but more of a marker, a reminder of how strong I can be. However, I know that if I continue like this, it has the potential to go out of control. But I want it to scar so that I remember.
In the peak of my SI, initially, I confided in the youth worker at my church, who, little did I know, was actually professionally obliged to tell my parents as I was potentially in danger. Aside from that, there were a couple of people a bit older than me from my church who I would 'confide' in-and by that I really just mean sit with them days on end in silence, just trying to feel safe and secure in their presence.
No
Yes. I still do. Even though i feel that I have gotton over the main bout of SI, there are still a lot of other things in my life that affect me. I want to understand my brain, and my being, I want to feel happy with my life and who I am, and be stronger and braver and better, but I don't know how on earth I would start the conversation if I ever made an appointment with a doctor. I had a mentor during the last 18 months of school during my parents divorce (at this point I was over the main bout of SI but still harming occasionally) but never had to oppurtunity to tell her. It never came into conversation, and I'm not brave enough to put myself out there and start it myself. I regret that.
I suffer from tricholtillamania, which is an obsessive compulsive disorder where you pull your hair out from the roots. I've had this for about 7 years but only recently have began to understand it. I belive that it is a form of self harm, although this is debateable amongnst sufferers. Not much at all is really known about the condition, or how to stop it, but I belive that the behaviour is strongly linked with SI. Other than that, I've not been diagnosed with anything official, simply because I am too afraid and proud to be labelled as having 'depression' or what not. However, on the other hand, a label such as that would make me feel better about myself as it would lead to more understanding about my behaviour and thought patterns. I also possibly have an anxiety/inferiority disorder, but again am too afraid to seek help.
Yes and no. In 2004, I OD'd once and slit my wrists 5 times. I never ended up in hospital for any of them, but suffered a lot of pain and discomfort. At the time, I wanted to die, but looking back, I think that I was just seeing how far I could push myself in order to feel. Bringing myself that close heightend the feeling that I was alive
No
I quit self harm about a year after it began, perhaps a little longer. I then didn't cut for 18 months, but recently my patterns of behaviour have spiralled back to it again, but in a different mind set.
No, because there is always a deeper, underlying catayst attatched to the behaviour. SI is the 'symptom' of a more serious 'disease' if you like. The 'disease' being something psychological, which can span from the simple want of attention, to more complex things such as to purge oneself of badness, feeling of worthlessness and as punishment.
I would say that it went in an 'n' shape, starting small-simple tiny scatches with pins and heightened to huge gashes across my legs with blades, and taking blades with me whereever I went, and then gradually getting less and less until I stopped. My behaviour now is different, which is a bit worrying but o well.
At the end of the day, if you take away the symton, another with take its place. I belive that when i stopped SI, my hair pulling issue subconsciously got worse, replacing it. Not until the underlaying issues within the psychology are addressed will things truely get healed.
Yes. And No. I think I would say yes, simply because it is then so much hassle if people see it, and trying to cover it up and stuff, and I regret the messages and sterotypes that I am giving out. But I would also say a firm no, because I love my scars, they remind me of an old mentality that I shall not return to, they remind to stay focused and to strive to be better. This is why i am giving myself scars now, as a symbol of how far I've come. I may get them tattooed one day, who knows. Theyre in a kind of pattern so it wont look strange...
Yes definately, because SI has such a stigma attactched to it now of being 'the thing to do'. I belive that certain bands/sterotypes glamourise it and make it look like a fad, an attention seeking thing that young people do, and that you are really really stupid for doing it.
good on you miss keep this up this is really good, let us know your results n stuff!
xxxx
Human emotion is our strength and weakness, we would die not to feel...but to not feel is to die
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(AndBreathe is my angel)
How old were you when you started to Self Injure? 9
How do you SI? started with scratching and banging head on walls now cutting
Do you try to hide it? How? I do not cut where visable
Why do you SI? What do you get out of it?It relieves/ distracts from the emotional pain as well as a punishment for things I believe I have done wrong and to make me unattractive so they wont happen again.
Have you ever told anyone that you SI? If yes, who did you tell and how did they react? How did you tell them? Counsellers they reacted with concern I told them verbally.
Did you ever seek professional help for SI? If yes, did it help you? Ye s it has before now at a standstill as arranging new medication others stopped working as my depression became more severe
Did you ever want to seek help but didn’t? If yes why didn’t you? No i always wanted it to be hidden
Have you ever been diagnosed with a psych disorder? If yes, which one? Severe depression and psychosis Do you think there is a connection between the disorder and your SI? yes
Have you ever SI with the intent of suicide? yes
If you have been to the hospital for SI, how did the staff treat you? Very well the nurse was helpful and kind
Did you ever want to quit SI? Please explain both yes and no answers. If you did decide to try to quit about how long after you started to SI did you decide you wanted to quit? What did you try to do to quit? What helped and what did not? Yes because its not a nice thing to do since I started cutting I wanted to quit. I used several distraction techniques and alternatives. They didn't work
Do you think SI should be categorized as disorder in itself? No I think it is a symptom
Did your SI injury get worse with time or did it stay about the same? Yes increasingly so
If you could find healthier ways that would give you the same effects of SI, would you stop SIing and replace it with the healthier alternative? Yes
Did you ever regret SI?Yes it hurts those I'm close to
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’? I think it is easier to talk about now than before as it was unknown years ago and was thought of in a different light. however the stereotypes occurring also cause difficulty
State any comments about this questionnaire or suggestions to make it better if you like
State any additional comments or if you feel you want to say something that wasn’t addressed in this questionnaire.
But I being poor have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet ; tread softly as you tread on my dreams.
We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.
How old were you when you started to Self Injure? I think i was 15
How do you SI? Wound interferance,Pinching,Hitting myself,Cutting,Burning.
Do you try to hide it? How? Yes. Long sleeves,Bandages (say ive sprained my wrist), or by doing it in places no one will see.
Why do you SI? What do you get out of it? Because i can express my emotions about how i feel about myself.I can remember how disgusting i am by just looking at scars.It helps me cope when im upset,stressed and especially angry.
Have you ever told anyone that you SI? If yes, who did you tell and how did they react? How did you tell them? I've Never told a soul.Except from strangers on sites like this.
Did you ever seek professional help for SI? If yes, did it help you? No
Did you ever want to seek help but didn’t? If yes why didn’t you? No
Have you ever been diagnosed with a psych disorder? If yes, which one? Do you think there is a connection between the disorder and your SI? I never have because ive never been to the doctor about it.
Have you ever SI with the intent of suicide? Not by SI ing.
If you have been to the hospital for SI, how did the staff treat you? N/a
Did you ever want to quit SI? Please explain both yes and no answers. If you did decide to try to quit about how long after you started to SI did you decide you wanted to quit? What did you try to do to quit? What helped and what did not? I have, still do want to quit. The embarassment of knowing that youve cut yourself over something other people just deal with every day. Knowing your weak and a mess. & Hiding the scars is a lot of work, especially in summer when you just want to wear short sleeve tops etc.
Do you think SI should be categorized as disorder in itself? Maybe. But SI is different for everyone.So it would be extremley hard to categorise.
Did your SI injury get worse with time or did it stay about the same? It started small. Then i had a big relapse last january. Then it lowered again & recently ive had another big relapse & once again its got worse. It depends on whats happening in my life at the time.
If you could find healthier ways that would give you the same effects of SI, would you stop SIing and replace it with the healthier alternative? I don't know. Because i don't know what else will help. I would want too. I want to quit all together. But its too hard.
Did you ever regret SI? Everyday.
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’? Yes. People believe it to be a attention grabbing thing.People only do it for attention & sympathy. There labelled weak,pathetic,stupid. etc etc. Main reasons ive never told my best friend & my mum.Because i know how they feel. People need to be educated on it. Because its so much different to what they believe.
State any comments about this questionnaire or suggestions to make it better if you like Nope.
State any additional comments or if you feel you want to say something that wasn’t addressed in this questionnaire What do SHarmers think of the help thats out there for them.
"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay"
How old were you when you started to Self Injure? 11
How do you SI? cutting, scratching and digging my nails into my skin
Do you try to hide it? How? yes, wearing long sleeves
Why do you SI? What do you get out of it? I SI to get rid of all the built up emotion inside, and i feel relieved
Have you ever told anyone that you SI? If yes, who did you tell and how did they react? How did you tell them? yes. i told a close friend and she reacting kind of surprised when she found out. well she told me she tried to commit suicide and I just told her that I cut
Did you ever seek professional help for SI? If yes, did it help you? no
Did you ever want to seek help but didn’t? If yes why didn’t you? yes maybe just to understand why or how it started
Have you ever been diagnosed with a psych disorder? If yes, which one? Do you think there is a connection between the disorder and your SI? no
Have you ever SI with the intent of suicide? yes
If you have been to the hospital for SI, how did the staff treat you? no
Did you ever want to quit SI? Please explain both yes and no answers. If you did decide to try to quit about how long after you started to SI did you decide you wanted to quit? What did you try to do to quit? What helped and what did not? yes. it was about 8 months after i started. I just tried to think about what my mom would do to me if she knew I didnt stop and found more cuts on my arm. being with my friends more and being out of school helped to keep my mind off of SI. What didnt help was the threat my mom gave me about making my life a living hell and her saying that i'll probably end up doing drugs and drinking.
Do you think SI should be categorized as disorder in itself? maybe, depending on how bad it is
Did your SI injury get worse with time or did it stay about the same? it got worse over time
If you could find healthier ways that would give you the same effects of SI, would you stop SIing and replace it with the healthier alternative? yes but i know it would be hard at first to stop
Did you ever regret SI? sometimes when i want to wear a new short sleeve shirt
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’? yes. if more people were more aware of SI they might understand that its not something that a person does to get attention or to be cool. Maybe people would stop making comment like "go cut yourself" and really know what they're saynig
State any comments about this questionnaire or suggestions to make it better if you like none
State any additional comments or if you feel you want to say something that wasn’t addressed in this questionnaire.
A smile is the best way to deal with difficult situations. Even if it's a fake one. Used properly, you can fool anyone with them - Sai
How old were you when you started to Self Injure? 13
How do you SI? cutting
Do you try to hide it? How? yes, by wearing long sleeves/pants/bracelets
Why do you SI? What do you get out of it? To release pent up emotions, for punishment, and sometimes just to feel anything. I get release from it, and a certain calm.
Have you ever told anyone that you SI? If yes, who did you tell and how did they react? How did you tell them? I haven't told anyone, but a couple of people have found out on their own with a certain amount of prying. They were concerned, and not to happy about it.
Did you ever seek professional help for SI? If yes, did it help you? No. I got to a point where I really wanted to once, but I chickened out once I reached the door of the counseling center.
Did you ever want to seek help but didn’t? If yes why didn’t you? Yes, I've wanted to, but I guess I'm just scared of what will happen once it's out in the open.
Have you ever been diagnosed with a psych disorder? If yes, which one? Do you think there is a connection between the disorder and your SI? I've never been diagnosed with anything, seeing as I'm too scared to go see anyone about this.
Have you ever SI with the intent of suicide? No, I think there are much easier ways to kill yourself if I was going to.
If you have been to the hospital for SI, how did the staff treat you? No
Did you ever want to quit SI? Please explain both yes and no answers. If you did decide to try to quit about how long after you started to SI did you decide you wanted to quit? What did you try to do to quit? What helped and what did not? I haven't ever wanted to quit. It works for me, wy would I?
Do you think SI should be categorized as disorder in itself? No, I think it's usually a symptom of something else.
Did your SI injury get worse with time or did it stay about the same? It comes and goes. sometimes i'm clean for months at a time, and other times I'm doing it every day. Just depends on what's going on in my life.
If you could find healthier ways that would give you the same effects of SI, would you stop SIing and replace it with the healthier alternative? I don't know. It's hard to even think about giving it up now.
Did you ever regret SI? Sometimes, yeah.
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’? SI awareness, while good intentioned, personally makes me uncomfortable. While it does a good job getting the info out there, I think it also gets all the stereotypes out there, and people who are living with this hardly want that.
