Suicidal - updated - Page 2

[LittleMonster] · 26-04-2013, 02:47 PM

I nearly got put in a psych ward yesterday..I had to see the crisis team as an emergency but I've decided I will be safe. I'm stopping drinking which is mostly the cause of my impulsiveness..

I'm so fat and it's crushing me...
Sorry

talaiporia · 27-04-2013, 04:54 PM

Do you think that maybe going IP would be helpful for you right now? What is the current plan for your treatment? You sound very unwell right now.

yoyogirl · 28-04-2013, 12:09 PM

did you call the crisis team? can you go to a+e and seek assistance from them

[LittleMonster] · 30-04-2013, 12:19 PM

I want to go inpatient at the EDU, not the psych ward but they aren't seeing me for another month!
The thoughts are still there and I cannot stop thinking about it but I'm going to keep safe..

lottybear · 30-04-2013, 12:24 PM

Can you phone them up and ask for appoint sooner x

[LittleMonster] · 30-04-2013, 12:39 PM

My nurse tried, they're fully booked..

brokenbutterflies · 30-04-2013, 07:06 PM

kate, im really worried about your safety at the moment. is there any way you can call someone, anyone if youre still not feeling well?

talaiporia · 01-05-2013, 02:28 AM

What about going IP at the psych ward, just to tide you over? They must have some facilities for dealing with eating disorders, even if they aren't as good as a EDU.

How are you doing today?

[LittleMonster] · 01-05-2013, 11:19 AM

I'm okay at the moment. I just saw EDS and she has written to the EDU to tell them how I am and she's going to write again saying that my eating has got worse- she said hopefully you'll be in within the next few weeks!!!!
I'm seeing a dr today who has also been wrote to updating the situation and see my psych on 22nd
Xxx

[LittleMonster] · 06-05-2013, 02:10 PM

so sorry to post again.. I'm selfish I know.
I'm struggling a lot.
I'm with family atm and told myself I can't purge whilst here and instead I've ate junk food that I'm normally to scared to get close to... I can't stop eating and I dunno why
I just ate something really fatty and wanna purge.
I really wanna restrict hard when I'm back tomorrow and I just wanna die

gemger · 07-05-2013, 09:12 AM

Suisiding is not a way of overcoming with your problems. If you have any problem you need to face it. Even though the result is a positive or negative. And remember problems are not permanent. They are coming and going from our lives.

[LittleMonster] · 10-05-2013, 01:06 PM

I know..I'm holding on.

I got a call from the EDU today asking if I could attend an appointment a week earlier than originally planned..They also said it's going to have 3 people there rather than the 2 I was expecting..

I know my therapist wrote to them telling them about my suicidal urges and mild overdose..She also wrote one last week saying that my ED symptoms have worsened so it looks like they might be a bit concerned...

I haven't lost any weight and I just feel too fake to need all of this

LittleCloud · 10-05-2013, 01:48 PM

((((Katie)))) sounds like your EDU team and therapist care about you and believe that with the right support you still have a chance to get better. You are not fake or fraudulent- by getting help now, you might be able to stop the symptoms getting worse and find a better place to be mentally and physically. I hope everything goes ok. Thinking of you

raspberry_swirl · 10-05-2013, 03:39 PM

Hey Kate, I think it's really positive you can see them sooner.
Remember it's a mental illness and I don't think anything you're feeling is fake. Try not to focus on that maybe.

You've struggled for a long time with this. I can't remember when we first met online but it definitely was years ago and to me it seems that things haven't moved on that much (I hope you don't mind me saying this & I say it with the best of intentions). I hope this is an opportunity for you for things to change. It sounds like you could get good support from this place?

I'm glad your appointment is sooner because the sooner the better really!
x

[LittleMonster] · 11-05-2013, 04:23 PM

Thank you both of you..
I'm just not sure if I truly want it or not but I know I can't go on like this..
I'm out atm and sat down because I'm really dizzy and feel like so weak

raspberry_swirl · 11-05-2013, 05:05 PM

If it helps, I don't think people are ever 100% committed or decided on recovery at the start. I know I wasn't when I went in. It's not like a lightbulb moment or anything. I know I was waiting for one of those and there wasn't one. It was more a gradual thing. So I don't think you have to be truly sure you want it (in fact I think that might be impossible). Just give the help they offer you your best shot.

when.will.it.end · 11-05-2013, 05:12 PM

^ agreed.

I'm pleased they are taking things seriously and bumping up your appointment. Is there anything realistic you can do to stablise your physical health a bit? Are you drinking enough?

talaiporia · 12-05-2013, 08:32 PM

Hi there. I noticed from your RV you're struggling a lot. How are you doing today Kate?

[LittleMonster] · 12-05-2013, 09:03 PM

Thanks all of you a lot..
No I want to die. I can't cope being this fat anymore.
I don't want to eat but I'm going to be made to and I'm horrible and want to destroy myself and I don't want to live

talaiporia · 12-05-2013, 09:04 PM

I think you mentioned a while back about the possibility of IP - what's happening with that?

What's making you want to destory yourself Kate?