I'm not sure what this is...

[Krispy]

He helped me through everything, and I love him a lot. However, I find myself questioning a couple things he has done. He is an ass, and admits it. I have been dating him for 2.5 years, and yet he keeps it a secret, and will outright tell people he is single. He will call me names, and whenever I try to stand up for myself, when I don't like something he says, he puts me down and insults me in some way so I stop. I can't stand up for myself with him, and he even backhands me across the face during sex, multiple times, even though it has made me cry once or twice.

He tells me how much he loves me, and I believe it, but is this right? Is this normal? I don't want to lose him, and I love him a lot, but what should I do?

[Patent Pending]

Hi there.

From the sound of things it isn't right. If he physically hurts you during sex; unless you've expressed consent in a way you both understand, then it's abuse. Putting you down and insulting you isn't right either.

Sorry I don't have much advice right now.

x x x

[troubleshooter]

That sounds like emotional and physical abuse to me. Unless you want to be hit during sex, that's really wrong. It's also not ok for someone to always put you down and make you feel bad about yourself.

[HealingAngel]

That sounds really abusive to me (both emotionally and physically). Even though he only hits during sex that's not okay unless you both agree that's what you want, especially if it makes you cry... If you're questioning things I think you're beginning to realize that your relationship isn't unconventionally, it's simply wrong and abusive. If you aren't happy don't let him con you into staying. You have a right to be happy. Really.

[PassedExpectations]

i agree that it sounds abusive. do you feel ready to try to get yourself out of the relationship? there are groups and agencies that might be able to help support you more directly if you are ready to try