Recovery can feel like a bumpy road, I can relate. I think you can get so used to experiencing intense emotions that, when they start to subside, you can feel a bit dead, a bit empty. It's like you can spend years on high alert, in a state of anxiety, and almost get used to it, even though it's awful. Then the storms starts to settle a bit and you start to level out, and that can feel hard to adjust to.
Do you have a good daily structure in place? Sometimes having something meaningful to do every day, a reason to get out of bed, is good in keeping you connected with the world. Spiritually, something very helpful can be reaching out and using your skills to help others. You can get a real feeling of accomplishment and meaning through helping other people, even if it's just in little ways.
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