Just wanted to say that I know I have been responsible for memes and maybe over used them sometimes. I have also been rude to some members when I wasn't thinking properly about their feelings but I want to say that I have been trying a lot harder to tone down the memes and I want to be genuinely supportive and open to other members old and new.
This.
& From reading this thread, I feel as if we're trapped inside that many rules about what we should and shouldn't do because it gets on peoples nerves or leaves other members out. For instance, people are saying that the "Say Here" thread is not working as it should. Is there a set way for it to work? If I came into a thread and there was a conversation going on that had trailed off from the thread, I wouldn't feel uncomfortable posting, I'd use my initiative and just post and bring it back to the original topic if I needed to ask something about it.
Everyone deals with things differently and I never really feel intimidated by other 'groups'. In fact I don't even perceive people as in 'groups'. I don't know if that's just something about my personality, but I usually feel comfortable talking to most people regardless of who their others friends are.
People are more sensitive than others, and the forum is never going to be perfect but I obviously would never intentionally offend anyone. At the same time though, I don't want to feel restrained to all of these rules so that I can't post what I need to.
I feel as if we're OVERaware of all of this and it actually makes it harder to post because I'm always wondering if it's going to offend someone or if someone's going to judge me for it or find it annoying.
Founder of: Capstealy avoidance method 3 aka The Steph Da First Method The picture above was kindly created by Sentient Treacle (leafy girl)
Yeah, sorry, I worded that wrong. I mean that everyone got paranoid (understandably, I know) and that because we had no idea that you guys thought that about us, we weren't able to reassure you, and so there is probably a lot of resentment towards us that didn't need to be there, because there was a widely-held belief that we did something that we did not.
With regards to the spam, I'm talking about stuff a long time ago. It was probably about two years ago at a time when the uni thread was very very busy and often got quite spammy. And that spam did reduce when the group was created.
A lot of the recent spam is actually nowt to do with the people in our facebook group. Again, I feel like people assume a lot of people are in it who are not.
I feel like I should be clear that were not sitting around talking about anyone or saying that youre slagging us off. It wasnt everyone, it was literally a couple of us.We were both aware of the group and we both separately felt like that, I havent spoken to charlie about feeling paranoid about it as far as Im aware. I dont think there is a widely held belief as I havent ever talked about there being a FB group and didnt respond to the person who made me aware of it.
I wouldnt say its chinese whispers either,its based on what I have seen.But Im not going to get into it because obviously the person who got in touch with me doesnt want to be involved.
I think we will differ on the spam thing to be honest!
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
[quote=Stephh;3490013] For instance, people are saying that the "Say Here" thread is not working as it should. Is there a set way for it to work? If I came into a thread and there was a conversation going on that had trailed off from the thread, I wouldn't feel uncomfortable posting, I'd use my initiative and just post and bring it back to the original topic if I needed to ask something about it.
/QUOTE]
There is a set way it should work. It is supposed to be you saying something to someone that you cant say, there isnt supposed to be conversation in that thread, or quoting other peoples posts. Its basically RV in a thread. Thats fine that you would use your initiative but think about it from other members, new members etc who dont feel like they can just jump in.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I was just saying you, Charlie and the person who was mean to me in my house all thought it was a bitching group, so I worried that more people thought that too.
It's fine to differ on the spam thing, but I just hope you'll take into account that not everyone who you think is in the group actually is!
I'm glad that this discussion has taken place. I feel like it's good to know what people dislike about us. It feels like we still wouldn't be able to come back and say the things that annoy us about the way we are treated on RYL, and that we are being made to feel at fault in all the ways, but I'm happy to change the way I do things in order to please people, because things being less hostile is worth more than me feeling free to post as I wish.
Quickly skimmed through this thread, but wanted to add my tuppence worth.
1. I agree completely with Tiff, Charlie and Liv. (As per usual, it seems like!)
2. The spam in GC (and elsewhere) pisses me off, to the extent that I'm simply not bothering. Yes, we can ask "well look out quiet it would be", but then the flip side of that is that maybe others would feel more comfortable posting there without having to wade through the spam, or thinking that a thread will just get completely derailed. There have been too many threads where I have looked and thought it'd be interesting, only to get to the end to find it has been completely hijacked.
3. I don't see the need for people to continuously jump in on threads where there has been rule-breaking or similar. A recent one I can think of is a member asking for moderator input. After the first couple of posts which answered their query, it should have been left rather than getting a touch flame-y and just unnecessary.
4. If someone has an issue with me say it to my face/PM box. Have the balls to say something to me rather than bitching behind my back.
5. I think I've addressed everything here I wanted to. To be honest, I don't think anything will come of this discussion since the two camps are so opposed.
5. I think I've addressed everything here I wanted to. To be honest, I don't think anything will come of this discussion since the two camps are so opposed.
I don't think that's fair. Lana and I in particular have bent over backwards to understand the things that have been said about us and tried to suggest ways in which we could reduce the divide.
With regards to hijacking threads in GC, that is definitely not on, and I don't think I do it a lot, but I know I can get carried away! Would it not be best to report such hijacking? Hijacking is against the rules, so hopefully if it is problem in any particular thread, it can be reported and dealt with so that the thread can get back on track.
You are two people though, and some of the "worst offenders" (I'm sure they know who they are) haven't been very active on this thread. It would be nice to see their opinion on things.
You are two people though, and some of the "worst offenders" (I'm sure they know who they are) haven't been very active on this thread. It would be nice to see their opinion on things.
I think the reason for that is that those people are not part of QK and this thread looks like it is about QK.
I meant to say that it might look form the outside as if it is or if you only read the comments about groups. As far as I am aware the people you are likely to refer too aren't considering themselves as part of any group on here.
I remember another group having a separate group on facebook in the past.
The say something here to the person you can't say it to thread, kindof implies you can't say it to the other person. But if you're writing messages to them in there then... you can say it to them as you know they will read it. That reads confusing, sorry.
The quoting I guess might cause members who don't get quoted to feel overlooked, like new members who may not understand what is happening.
I think the reason for that is that those people are not part of QK and this thread looks like it is about QK.
I agree.
Most of the posts in this thread seems to have been targetted at QK.
Also, if you call someone a 'worst offender' they're probably less likely to come forward because they will feel as though they're going to be jumped upon. If they enjoy spamming and they have a different opinion on that, surely that doesn't make them an 'offender' anyway, it just means that they don't think the way that you do?
As an aside, I know of people that have full on bitched about me behind my back (and I was only aware of this because someone had access to that board) and I was very upset by it. I don't like that people are saying that they'd prefer a PM about being upset by something because I did send a PM (early?) last year when I was upset by something and I, and others, were painted as completely horrible people. It's all very well to say that you'd welcome a PM from someone saying that they're upset with you but actually honour that if you say it.
I think the reason for that is that those people are not part of QK and this thread looks like it is about QK.
This.
Now that we've stopped pansying about not saying who we're talking about, maybe people could be a bit clearer who else they mean? Lana and I are the main ones from our facebook group who spam say here and stuff, and we've explained ourselves and committed to being slightly less annoying. But as Claire said, I don't think it's just us who are considered a 'problem'.
Jenna that makes me sad about your not posting freely and being unhappy about how you're being treated. Surely all sides deserve to have their views expressed, including you.
(this references a post half way up, sorry I am on my phone).
I meant to say that it might look form the outside as if it is or if you only read the comments about groups. As far as I am aware the people you are likely to refer too aren't considering themselves as part of any group on here.
This thread may have turned in to that, but I was under the impression that it is not ONLY about one particular group, but problems generally.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shine.
Also, if you call someone a 'worst offender' they're probably less likely to come forward because they will feel as though they're going to be jumped upon. If they enjoy spamming and they have a different opinion on that, surely that doesn't make them an 'offender' anyway, it just means that they don't think the way that you do?
Jumped on? I thought this was meant to be an adult discussion? They may enjoy spamming, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be discussed as an issue, should it? Especially if it is far-reaching, constant and putting people off GC.
Quote:
I don't like that people are saying that they'd prefer a PM about being upset by something because I did send a PM (early?) last year when I was upset by something and I, and others, were painted as completely horrible people. It's all very well to say that you'd welcome a PM from someone saying that they're upset with you but actually honour that if you say it.
I would, depending on how and what was said.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narcissa
This.
Now that we've stopped pansying about not saying who we're talking about, maybe people could be a bit clearer who else they mean? Lana and I are the main ones from our facebook group who spam say here and stuff, and we've explained ourselves and committed to being slightly less annoying. But as Claire said, I don't think it's just us who are considered a 'problem'.
There are problems across the board, and like I've said, I thought this thread was more general than simply targetting one group of people. I would rather not name names, especially as they do not seem to be active in this thread, and frankly, I'm sure they know who they are.
Aimee, I do feel attacked and I'd rather just be a bit quieter than cause a scene. Whether I like it or not, I do not have an input in how RYL is ran, and the people who do don't like the way I post. If I had it my way, Mike could post spam threads, I could troll the say here thread and the uni thread could be about whatever people wanted to talk about, and people who didn't like it just wouldn't read Mike's threads or the uni thread and would just post in say and ignore me. But I don't have it my way, and being the way I am is causing divides so I don't mind changing to make things easier.
I have noticed, but to me it just seems as if the group is getting bigger and I am the odd one for not being included, which makes me sad because what is wrong with me! :(
I didn't even know about this group and many people don't. That doesn't make us feel any better. :)
Jumped on? I thought this was meant to be an adult discussion? They may enjoy spamming, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be discussed as an issue, should it? Especially if it is far-reaching, constant and putting people off GC.
Yes, I agree.
But wording it as 'worst offenders' can mean that people will think they're going to end up getting upset. If it's an adult discussion that means accepting that there are two sides to this debate - or, several sides - and you've already made an assumption by calling them the 'worst offenders'. You could have asked for people more involved or for people who have a different opinion to yours to come forward.
The QK thing is confusing! There's a very small amount of people in a facebook group of the same name. But there are many people who talk about QKs or who have QK in their signature. I am at the point where I have no idea who is being talked about anymore hence I've been careful to say "the facebook group" and not QK, as it is ambiguous!
