Dude I wish we had a perfect world.... (I wonder what everyones would look like)....
Its really hard to not discuss people and things you care about though. I am rubbish at keeping things separate. :p I am sure a therapist would have something to say about that!
The coast is AMAZING! Mank weather or not! I would love to be all wrapped up warm at the seaside now watching the waves crash against the shore whilst holding onto something as not to get blown away! :p
i know i had a paranoid attack about one of your rants liv and reported you and pm'd you like 'why are you talking about me behind my back? why cant you talk to my faceeeee?'
im totes normz yo.
Yeah....
and that time when you came in chat and you were like WHY ARE YOU SLAGGING ME OFF I BET IT WAS ABOUT ME' and then ran away and I was like D: D: D:
Those incidents both happened within like 2 weeks of each other!
Youre so normal :3 I do the same though when you make vague rants im like OMGSHEHATESMEWHATDIDIDO.x
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Dude I wish we had a perfect world.... (I wonder what everyones would look like)....
Its really hard to not discuss people and things you care about though. I am rubbish at keeping things separate. :p I am sure a therapist would have something to say about that!
The coast is AMAZING! Mank weather or not! I would love to be all wrapped up warm at the seaside now watching the waves crash against the shore whilst holding onto something as not to get blown away! :p
I wonder too!
See thats the thing, RYL stuff doesnt spill over....I dont think I have ever said anything on FB about it and I only have a few people from here in my real life, but thats my decision,not saying its better or anything
. Just what Im saying is that I wouldnt ever go looking to see if people are saying with about me or whatever and I already have enough things to complain about without complaining about people from here :P I just want to be clear that were not gossiping about you or whatever!x
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
i promise that if i am cross with you about anything i will tell you to your face.
Im so paranoid Im like....never seeing charlie ever again just incase ¬_¬ x
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
ok... sorry i left this for so long, i've been ill so far this weekend, and trying to get massive first week back homework done. just read this now, and am in a daze, so i'm sorry if i missed anything.
again, thank you all for keeping this as respectful as it has been. how about some ideas now about how to make it better. what can each of you do so that these arguments/paranoia/etc don't happen again or happen less often?
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I think we need to try and think the best about each other. I for one think that both Charlie and Liv do a great job so they shouldn't worry. Bitching occurs in life- its a way of letting off steam but its the overall opinion about individuals that matters.
I do try and think the best about people here until I see evidence to the contrary.... so errrrr yeah- turn the thinking around.... good luck with that though.... we could have RYL group therapy sessions where we all talk about our feelings and how hurt stuff makes us feel :p
Sorry my mind is now just trolling with silly ideas.....
I think we need to try and think the best about each other. I for one think that both Charlie and Liv do a great job so they shouldn't worry. Bitching occurs in life- its a way of letting off steam but its the overall opinion about individuals that matters.
I do try and think the best about people here until I see evidence to the contrary.... so errrrr yeah- turn the thinking around.... good luck with that though.... we could have RYL group therapy sessions where we all talk about our feelings and how hurt stuff makes us feel :p
Sorry my mind is now just trolling with silly ideas.....
Thank you!x
I always wanted to do something like that in chat but it would be a total bloodbath and everyone thought I was crazy for thinking it was a good idea.....so high five for being in the crazy idea boat :P x
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I've wanted to say something for days in this thread but I didn't want to say it when I was feeling emotional as it wouldn't help anyone.
Anyway, I do try to keep FB and RYL seperate and yes I am a QK'er and yes we do sometimes overlap. I admit that I too have discussed members from RYL off RYL, but usually this is when I am having a fit of paranoia and feel someone has said something negative to me and need the reassurance that I am overeacting from friends I trust.
In hindsight, and insight from people who are not in this friendship group, I see that this may well not be the best plan of action and in future I feel that maybe it would be better for me to contact the RYL member involved, something that I will be doing from now on.
I also would like to take a moment to say to anyone that I have annoyed or upset with my actions, I am truly sorry. I honestly didn't realise that my actions where hurting people. I have to say though, if you feel I have upset you in any way, do feel free to message me and discuss it. I'd rather know and learn from my mistakes than go on with someone hating me for something I didn't realise I had done.
And I agree with whoever mentioned being able to read minds, it would make it a lot easier in the long run!
Also as a final point, I was penalised a few years ago for something that I wasn't actually that involved with at the tine, based on known friendships/arguments between members in real life rather than online, which really upset me at the time as it felt like I was being punished just for knowing people rather than not behaving. So I understand the feelings some people have surrounding things going on offline behind people's backs.
Also, on the idea of how to deal with issues. I suppose the only thing is to suggest talking to the person involved directly via PM or something to try and talk through the issue instead of just jumping down each others throats.
Yes I really encourage the "if you have a problem with me, please PM me and tell me so I can fix it" attitude, because if I don't know I'm upsetting you then I'll just carry on because I don't realise!
Obviously you can be nice about or or a dick, but you get the gist.
See the only problem I have with that is you dont know who is fine with getting a PM like that and who isnt. I know that most people will say they would prefer it but I feel like in reality if you started getting PMs with a list of how you were pissing me off it would be different.x
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Probably not constructive but most of the time when i feel rubbish,i like the fact there are spammy threads in gc,I've always felt ok randomly jumping in and out of them as there isn't the feeling of committing to replying-whereas in specific support threads,i feel bad if i just randomly stop.
I find it comforting to know that even though i hardly ever post anymore,i can join in with a bit of banter and no one goes "who the hell are you???".
Maybe its just me though. Or possibly Im more comfortable with that sort of thing having come a long way from the person i used to be....
I'm glad to read this. This is the impression I've got, as I see lots of new people jumping in to chat-type stuff and they are always welcomed cheerfully, in my opinion.
Charlie, apart from a strongly worded PM you sent me nearly two years ago, I have never had a bad word to say about you. Honest! So you really don't need to be paranoid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by griddlebone
I have heard this too (and seen evidence) of it and it makes me sad and paranoid too.x
So. I'm not sure if your evidence is from the same incident I am thinking of, but let me share a fun story. An RYL member came to our house and said that my friends and I were 'disgusting' for having a facebook group to bitch about RYL members. We were obviously upset by this, and also like 'dafuq??', because we do not have a facebook group to bitch about people. To prove this point, Jodie went into the group and browsed the last twenty or so conversations and found none of them to have any mention of other RYL members. Not that we should have to defend our private conversations, but for the record, this facebook group has mainly fun stories of our day, mundane queries (e.g. how do I tell if this smoothie has gone off?), heroic tales, and woe posts. Very occasionally we talk about RYL members. At least we have the decency to do so in private and not on public facebook statuses. If anyone here can hold their hands up and say they've never talked about someone on RYL on faceook, in person or via PM, then they can throw the first stone. (oooh, I just went all biblical!).
As a further fun fact, said facebook was originally called 'spams' because we were spamming RYL a bit much and wanted to be less annoying, so had our overflow spamming on facebook.
I honestly think that this has been blown out of proportion. I know of a facebook group that exists/existed entirely to mock one particular RYL member but that is not what we are about, and to my knowledge not a single one of my friends is part of that group.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpha Bitch
I think the main function of said FB group is to make it easier for more than two people at a time to have a conversation. And most of the time people use it to post about personal issues they don't want on a public forum. It is definitely not about talking behind people's back.
This this this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelspit
i know i had a paranoid attack about one of your rants liv and reported you and pm'd you like 'why are you talking about me behind my back? why cant you talk to my faceeeee?'
Liv is so good at inducing paranoia it would seem! I always assume her rants are about me, even though she barely knows me :P
Quote:
Originally Posted by griddlebone
See the only problem I have with that is you dont know who is fine with getting a PM like that and who isnt. I know that most people will say they would prefer it but I feel like in reality if you started getting PMs with a list of how you were pissing me off it would be different.x
Maybe people should have in their signatures "I am pro-PMs about disagreements" :P
I guess as long as they are polite, they shouldn't cause an issue, and people can just ignore them if they want?
Like, with the Flem issue (hi Flem!), instead of getting upset maybe I could of politely PMed Flem and said that I felt he had a problem with me and asked if I'd done something to offend him? I didn't do that because I had decided he hated me and thought he would of shouted at me, but maybe we don't always need to assume the worst in people! It sounds like neither of us actually had a major problem with eachother, and if I'd not been a cowardy custard, we perhaps could of had a civil chat about it earlier on and stopped things getting out of hand.
Probably not constructive but most of the time when i feel rubbish,i like the fact there are spammy threads in gc,I've always felt ok randomly jumping in and out of them as there isn't the feeling of committing to replying-whereas in specific support threads,i feel bad if i just randomly stop.
I find it comforting to know that even though i hardly ever post anymore,i can join in with a bit of banter and no one goes "who the hell are you???".
Maybe its just me though. Or possibly Im more comfortable with that sort of thing having come a long way from the person i used to be....
I have nothing else to add but this comment makes me supper happy!
As one of the "top" spammers in GC with me being active in the chatty chat thread it's never my intention to make anyone feel not welcome.
There's a lot of stuff that goes on in the background with threads like the chatty chat one that the mods or anyone else can't see..
Like when in the chatty chat thread someone new joins the thread, I take the time out to PM them and welcome them to the thread and give them heads up about the speed, sometimes comments get missed etc etc, just to make said new person feel welcome and at home in said thread...So just keep in mind a lot of stuff happens in the background that you don't see.
So. I'm not sure if your evidence is from the same incident I am thinking of, but let me share a fun story. An RYL member came to our house and said that my friends and I were 'disgusting' for having a facebook group to bitch about RYL members. We were obviously upset by this, and also like 'dafuq??', because we do not have a facebook group to bitch about people. To prove this point, Jodie went into the group and browsed the last twenty or so conversations and found none of them to have any mention of other RYL members. Not that we should have to defend our private conversations, but for the record, this facebook group has mainly fun stories of our day, mundane queries (e.g. how do I tell if this smoothie has gone off?), heroic tales, and woe posts. Very occasionally we talk about RYL members. At least we have the decency to do so in private and not on public facebook statuses. If anyone here can hold their hands up and say they've never talked about someone on RYL on faceook, in person or via PM, then they can throw the first stone. (oooh, I just went all biblical!).
As a further fun fact, said facebook was originally called 'spams' because we were spamming RYL a bit much and wanted to be less annoying, so had our overflow spamming on facebook.
I honestly think that this has been blown out of proportion. I know of a facebook group that exists/existed entirely to mock one particular RYL member but that is not what we are about, and to my knowledge not a single one of my friends is part of that group.
I think if people know you have a facebook group with a lot of members from here then people will assume youre bitching about members, it isnt the first time and its a conclusion people always jump to. You dont need to defend your conversations, personally I couldnt care less if all of your conversations revolved around what a horrible person I am, BUT whatever convos you do have people will be paranoid about it, tis a.human nature an b. the nature of the website.
I will throw the first stone about FB, never mentioned an ryler there, never will, but again thats personal choice. If you have that group then why is there even more spam than usual around at the moment? :P
It hasnt been blown out of proportion....it was two people saying that in light of rumours/what they have seen/heard that we felt a little paranoid, then it was explained to us, then we were no long paranoid so I think thats a bit unfair.
My rants are pretty vague but most of the time if people have a think youll realise its not about you and if youre worried it is you then you've obviously been doing something wrong :P But seriously, I dont rant about members here, I have a sounding board elsewhere for that too.x
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
It hasnt been blown out of proportion....it was two people saying that in light of rumours/what they have seen/heard that we felt a little paranoid, then it was explained to us, then we were no long paranoid so I think thats a bit unfair.
Yeah, sorry, I worded that wrong. I mean that everyone got paranoid (understandably, I know) and that because we had no idea that you guys thought that about us, we weren't able to reassure you, and so there is probably a lot of resentment towards us that didn't need to be there, because there was a widely-held belief that we did something that we did not.
With regards to the spam, I'm talking about stuff a long time ago. It was probably about two years ago at a time when the uni thread was very very busy and often got quite spammy. And that spam did reduce when the group was created.
A lot of the recent spam is actually nowt to do with the people in our facebook group. Again, I feel like people assume a lot of people are in it who are not.
This is where it gets awkward. There's a million people who aren't in it, and we tend not to mention it on RYL because that's awkward. I'm only discussing it and defending it because other people brought it up, but I do feel really uncomfortable about doing so.
