Bloody hell I took 8 minutes to write that mother*****er. Cigarette is deserved!
I'd also like to say I don't have a problem with you guys personally, I'm sure you're all very nice people (or there wouldn't be a group) it's just your actions that annoy me (and maybe others sometimes).
Shall I call it "Jenna's circle of friends and others"? :P
Yeah, it's probably not exclusively QK but that's defintely one of the groups people have issues with. I'm probably just getting geuniely defensive about what I'd consider "my group" on here. :S
I'd consider you part of the QK'ers. If that helps?
I think this is all interesting to read, though it must be making the "QK" group paranoid as hell. But I always thought they were friendly. I guess I haven't witnessed the 'stomping out' you describe Tiff. I remember a big clique years ago who delighted in sarcasm across the boards among other rule breaking. And that never started a thread like this.
(I recognise though that I was a mod then, not now, so I may be missing important pieces).
- i think its sad how everyone focuses on te QKers spammings/activity in the general board when they are actually hugely active in the support boards.
- i think its sad how Jenna seems to be in the role of spokes person.
- Has no one else noticed how group QK is actually encompassing a tonne more people (most noticable for me has been Stellata Katie, then Kiran, now Lucy) and i dont thinkt hats a bad thing either.
- Can you imagine how quiet RYL in general would be without that group of people.
- i can remember when we had the exact issues with 'the gays', people come and go.. oh well.
- i have never deliberately ignored people at a meet, i am just shy if i dont know you and it comes across as antisocialness.
- its the ****ing internet.
Last edited by squirrelspit : 26-01-2013 at 11:18 PM.
I hope that this discussion has shown that disagreeing with 'us' doesn't always cause us to become aggressive? I know that I am very defensive, and part of that is because I over-react to stuff, but part of that is that I often feel very attacked. You said that you feel like everyone likes us, but I actually feel like a lot of RYL dislikes both me personally, and my 'clique'. I know I over-react sometimes, but I think it would help if people could be politer? Like, if someone calls my friends pathetic, I will get angry and become intimidating (or as intimidating as a maths geek with a spoon fetish can be!).
*hands out biscuits*
The event of the past few days have made me realise that I have a problem with my temper and I create unnecessary drama and I think you made a good point about cutting people some slack when they appear angry. Also that it isn't always imperative for me to jump in and back people up!
With the uni student thread, I accept that you don't like it. Do you feel like it should change, or that it's OK for there to be threads that don't interest you?
Where do you feel like we're larger than life? Is it more a general thing, or are there certain places where you feel meme-ing and joking about are really especially unwanted?
Tiff, I have a feeling that (like I said) a lot of those issues seem to be caused by the fact that QKers (or what people see as QKers) are among the most frequent posters on here. I am not sure it would be legit to expect people to reduce that. [I am aware you didn't say that but it's the only thing I could think off.]
Thank you Aimee and Charlie, it's good to see that people do perceive QK as something positve too. :)
Hi drunk Charlie, from a drunk Tiff. Apparently when drunk I forget I am scared of people and I can find words easier than usual. Who knew!
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelspit
- i think its sad how everyone focuses on te QKers spammings/activity in the general board when they are actually hugely active in the support boards.
I think because the spam is a lot more prevalent than their support, though I no longer visit support boards because of reasons, so I cannot comment on their support giving. I will take your word that they are hugely active and this is great, good job guys. This is what RYL is about after all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelspit
- i think its sad how Jenna seems to be in the role of spokes person.
It seems as if Jenna is the "leader" of the QK'ers, I'm not entirely sure why but it looks like there is a Jenna, then others, all following. No idea if this is the case, but just how it feels to me (and a few others). Sorry Jenna, if you wish to stop being the spokesperson, do it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelspit
- Has no one else noticed how group QK is actually encompassing a tonne more people (main noticables for me have been Stellata Katie, then Kiran, now Lucy) and i dont thinkt hats a bad thing either, nor do i think it can really be described as a clique any more.
I have noticed, but to me it just seems as if the group is getting bigger and I am the odd one for not being included, which makes me sad because what is wrong with me! :(
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelspit
- Can you imagine how quiet RYL on heneral would be without that group of people.
A lot less image spam and probably a lot less conversation. A LITTLE LESS CONVERSATION A LITTLE MORE ACTION. Or something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelspit
- i can remember when we ha the exact issues with 'the gays', people come and go.. oh well.
Again, I don't think this is a new thing. When apparently I was part of the old cool group, this thread was made but instead of QK'ers it was "gays and cool group". It's nothing new. Things change and move and I think that might also be another reason why people are a bit like :S because they miss the old times and the old people and feel they are not cool enough to fit in with the new people. This can also be said for previous cool groups.
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelspit
- i have never deliberately ignored people at a meet, i am just shy if i dont know you and it comes across as antisocialness.
This to an extent, I am more comfortable talking to people I know/have known. Probably the same for a lot of people because RYL.
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelspit
- its the ****ing internet.
RYL is an internet home for a lot of people though, a safe haven of sorts.
I hope that this discussion has shown that disagreeing with 'us' doesn't always cause us to become aggressive? I know that I am very defensive, and part of that is because I over-react to stuff, but part of that is that I often feel very attacked. You said that you feel like everyone likes us, but I actually feel like a lot of RYL dislikes both me personally, and my 'clique'. I know I over-react sometimes, but I think it would help if people could be politer? Like, if someone calls my friends pathetic, I will get angry and become intimidating (or as intimidating as a maths geek with a spoon fetish can be!).
I hope it does too, and this proves to people that sometimes people are actually nice and wont always attack you (apparently this also applies to me, I don't know if you've noticed but I find it hard to talk to people without offending them because I have no social skills and I phrase things badly because words) so I would like it if people could take from this that people are not all they seem!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narcissa
*hands out biscuits*
Better be nice biscuits. Omnom.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narcissa
The event of the past few days have made me realise that I have a problem with my temper and I create unnecessary drama and I think you made a good point cutting people some slack when they appear angry. Also that it isn't always imperative to jump in and back people up!
(Y).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narcissa
With the uni student thread, I accept that you don't like it. Do you feel like it should change, or that it's OK for there to be threads that don't interest you?
It's the internet. There will always be things I dislike but I actually have the willpower to ignore it because it doesn't interest me, therefore I don't really care about it. Things like this happen all the time. Some subreddits on reddit bore me, so I don't visit them and don't care. Problem solved. It's only a problem when people forget that they can infact, just ignore people/threads/things, instead of jumping all over it and making things difficult for everyone else, and of course, everyone loves a good drama fest. I don't think it should change because it serves a purpose for a lot of people, and a lot of people are happy and comfortable there. Why should it change for just me? Such is life, I get over it and move on!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narcissa
Where do you feel like we're larger than life? Is it more a general thing, or are there certain places where you feel meme-ing and joking about are really especially unwanted?
A specific example I can think of is the thread ashlee made about songs bits in review and recommendations, it just seemed a bit unnecessary to me to spam her thread with lots of irrelevant pictures and things.
Also, (sorry Mike, I don't mean to target you!) Mike does a lot of replies with just pictures. Personally I feel that we aren't that kind of forum, so it's unecessary, but again, is just me personally and I can get over it.
I think it's because the QK'ers are the largest posting entity at the moment, and you seem to be everywhere and you always have an input. Which happens! I'm not saying you need to all stop posting and become boring and whatever, I just feel that sometimes everywhere I turn there is a picture of a cat or a meme or ALL THE THINGS and I'm just like PLEASE I WANT A NORMAL CONVERSATION BEFORE MY HEAD EXPLODES.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpha Bitch
Tiff, I have a feeling that (like I said) a lot of those issues seem to be caused by the fact that QKers (or what people see as QKers) are among the most frequent posters on here. I am not sure it would be legit to expect people to reduce that. [I am aware you didn't say that but it's the only thing I could think off.]
I really don't expect you all to stop posting, that's unrealistic and I definitely am not a prominent member that you would pay attention to me and stop or tone it down. I wouldn't expect that anyway, because... I don't own this website, I'm not a dick and I don't run your lives :P
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpha Bitch
Thank you Aimee and Charlie, it's good to see that people do perceive QK as something positve too. :)
You guys have got people talking, and have made some jolly good threads. You're not all negative, and I don't mean to portray you as such, because you have done a lot of good!
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Just wanted to say that I know I have been responsible for memes and maybe over used them sometimes. I have also been rude to some members when I wasn't thinking properly about their feelings but I want to say that I have been trying a lot harder to tone down the memes and I want to be genuinely supportive and open to other members old and new.
I want to apologise if I have appeared intimidating or dismissive or rude to other members as this has not been my intention.
Just wanted to put that out there :)
Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot
I think its difficult on forums when people deal with things in different ways and what one person might find funny someone else might find rude or upsetting or whatever,especially if youre not a member that uses the site that often.
Cliques have always been a part of RYL and I dont think theyre necessarily a problem, but there does need to be some sort of containing with it....because overrunning peoples threads, especially those group threads that arent general chat can be intimidating.
For example the 'say something' thread, it seems that thread in particular isnt running the way it should be, members are replying to each other and having conversations in that thread and that makes it intimidating for other people to post, its also unnecessary as there are a lot of other threads where conversations are going on.
Its always going to make people feel left out when there is a group of people who are prolific posters and who know each other in real life/have in jokes and so on. That in itself isnt a problem but as of late it seems to be becoming an issue.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Shall I call it "Jenna's circle of friends and others"? :P
Yeah, it's probably not exclusively QK but that's defintely one of the groups people have issues with. I'm probably just getting geuniely defensive about what I'd consider "my group" on here. :S
I think thats natural (I said that in my post before) its natural to want to stick up for friends and 'your group.' But anyone getting defensive doesnt really solve anything, I think everyone is guilty of being blind to issues within people/groups of people and its easy to ignore them. x
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I am guilty of using the Say Here Thread wrongly and will do my best to at least tone it down if I fail to stop that. That is a good point and a something that people can change. So thank you for bringing that up.
Thank you for taking that well, I was worried about using that as an example :P x
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I am so confused by this thread.... I don't even know what a Q-whatsit is, who one is, where one is or anything else.... I'm not, and never have been in a clique, well, there was a really nice little friendship group but one went to heaven and things were never the same after that.... Sometimes I feel a little like 'Oh shouldn't post on that thread' if it seems there is a friendship group - but I suppose that's just like the real world?
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
Well, I think people can understand that it borderlines on rule breaking. I think it is still acceptable to give short, encouraging replies at times as long as it is avoided to turn it into a conversation?
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