well today i was crying in science(first period), maths(4th Period), lunch, English(5th period) and at the end of school.
at the end Sean asked me what was up and if im alright, i now regret saying nothing, staying quiet and shaking my head and shrugging my shoulders......
I still think the world would be better off without me Some people, when they hit rock bottom, they dont have that person in their lives to pick them back up The mirror can lie, it doesnt show you whats on the inside. I dont think im fixed, people think that your like a car in a body shop, you go in, they fix you and your out, you work like your brand new, it doesnt work like that at all Sometimes i dont understand my self. Im not strong enough and im tired of pretending i am.
ive just cut, my arm is bleeding, but it doesnt hurt. why
I still think the world would be better off without me Some people, when they hit rock bottom, they dont have that person in their lives to pick them back up The mirror can lie, it doesnt show you whats on the inside. I dont think im fixed, people think that your like a car in a body shop, you go in, they fix you and your out, you work like your brand new, it doesnt work like that at all Sometimes i dont understand my self. Im not strong enough and im tired of pretending i am.
My ex told me that Sean asked him 'what it was like dating me cos I'm wounding if I should for a day to stop her obsessing over me'
I still think the world would be better off without me Some people, when they hit rock bottom, they dont have that person in their lives to pick them back up The mirror can lie, it doesnt show you whats on the inside. I dont think im fixed, people think that your like a car in a body shop, you go in, they fix you and your out, you work like your brand new, it doesnt work like that at all Sometimes i dont understand my self. Im not strong enough and im tired of pretending i am.
3) Been too depressed to move out of your bed? Yes
4) Tried to commit suicide? Yes
5) Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt? Yes
6) Watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting? No
7) Talked yourself out of serious trouble? Yes
8) Accused someone of using you?
Yes
9) Shoplifted? Yes
10) Gotten drunk/high? Yes
11) Been to a concert where your favourite artist was playing? No
12) Skipped doing homework to play a video game? Yes
(Right now) Are you:
13) Suicidal? Yes
14) Bored? Yes
15) Avoiding someone? Yes
16) Avoiding some task? Yes
17) Depressed? Yes
18) Crying? Yes
19) Annoyed with a friend? Yes
20) Worried and confused about something important to you? Yes
Do you:
21) Get depressed easily? Yes
22) Get jealous/envious easily? Yes
23) Feel listening to music can take your mind off things? Yess
24) Worry about messing about your relationships a lot? Yes
25) Try hard in all your classes at school? No
26) Go out drinking? No
27) Smoke cigarettes? No
28) Smoke weed? No
29) Do any hard drugs? No
30) If you said yes to 28 but no to 29, Why?
31) Believe in God/Belong to a religion of your own free will? No
32) Avoid people you care about because you feel you will only hurt them? Yes
33) Agree that self harm numbs emotional pain? Yes
34) Believe people deserve second chances? Yes
35) Agree with ‘An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth’? (ignoring the religious relation to that saying) no
36) Think things will get better? No
37) Feel afraid that you have done wrong and will eventually be punished? Yes
38) (be honest) Do you judge people who think differently to you? (seriously, be honest) yes
Preference in boyfriend/girlfriend:
39) Long hair OR short hair? Short
40) (For Girls one) nice smile OR nice abs? Smile
41) (For Guys one) nice smile OR nice chest?
42) Shy OR open? Shy
43) Eyes OR body? Eyed
44) Religious OR non-religious? Non
45) Caring OR non-restricting of you? Caring
46) Straight edge OR non-straight edge? Streight edge
47) Piercings OR no piercings? Non
48) Tattoos OR no tattoos? Non
49) Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type? Home
50) Has friends you get along with OR has parents you get along with? Both
Would you:
51) Drink alcohol until you were drunk? Yes
52) Smoke weed? No
53) Smoke cigarettes? No
54) Get even with someone who betrayed you? Yes
55) Forgive a boyfriend/girlfriend who deeply hurt you? No
56) Attempt to kill yourself if everything fails you? Yes
57) Keep your faith (any religious view) no matter what? Yes
58) Join a band as a part time activity? No
59) Feel sorry for someone who is being affected negatively from alcohol/drug abuse? Yes
60) Stand up for your beliefs if someone strongly goes against them? Yes
61) Go vegetarian for a month to see what is was like? No
62) Fight someone who was harassing your friends/family? No
63) Edit photos of yourself before posting them online? Yes
64) Put up with friends who constantly hated against something you believed in/supported? No
65) Be friends with someone who was nice to you, but a **** to other people? No
66) Not like someone simply because your friend(s) didn’t like them? No
67) Lie to someone close to you because you don’t want them put up with your problems? Yes
68) Starve yourself so you fit some certain clothes? Yes
69) Get surgery on any part of you? If yes then which part of you? Yes stumach reduction
70) Sleep naked? No
You can only choose one:
71) Black or Orange? Black
72) Metalcore OR Post-Hardcore? Dunno
73) Cellphone or Computer? Comp
74) Chocolate milk OR Coke? Choc
75) Tumblr OR Friends? Friends
76) Apple OR PC? Pc
77) TV Shows OR Movies? Tv shows
78) Old bands OR new Bands? Old
79) Pop-Punk OR Alternative pop Rock?
80) Reading OR Listening to music? Music
81) Coke OR Pepsi? Define your reason for your choice. Coke
82) Staying who you are OR changing yourself drastically? Change
83) Breakdown OR Clean vocal bridge? Breakdown
84) Jonny Craig OR Kellin Quinn? Define your reason for your choice. Dunno
85) Ronnie OR Craig? Define your reason for your choice. Dunno
86) Your life as a comedy OR Your life as a documentary? Documentary
87) Go to outer space OR Go all around Europe? Europe
88) Shoes OR Shirts? Shirts
89) Chelsea Grin OR Suicide Silence? Suicide
90) Drop out of school to get a job OR stay at school and finish your education. Define your reason for your choice. School
Almost over:
91) So far have you told 90 truths? And for **** sake be honest. All
92) Are you quiet about your social life with your family? Yes
93) Do you want to travel when you are older? Yes
94) Would you let go of people who mean the most to you to follow your dreams? Noo
95) Did you notice there are no sex related questions? Yes
96) Rather be the opposite gender? No
97) What will you name your son/daughter? Daughter
98) Do you get harassed more than most people do? Yes
99) What band do you hate the most? Define your reason. Dunno
100) What makes you a bad person in your mind? Everything
I still think the world would be better off without me Some people, when they hit rock bottom, they dont have that person in their lives to pick them back up The mirror can lie, it doesnt show you whats on the inside. I dont think im fixed, people think that your like a car in a body shop, you go in, they fix you and your out, you work like your brand new, it doesnt work like that at all Sometimes i dont understand my self. Im not strong enough and im tired of pretending i am.
Oh I see. How does that make you feel? I've got to be honest honey, if a guy is making you so unhappy, you need to stay away from him, because things aren't likely to change.
Have you thought any more about joining a club or a hobby to keep your mind off him?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
What happened to make you cry in the first place though /:? It's also understandable that you may have some regrets over little things, but don't let them eat away at you to the point where you feel you need to hurt yourself.
How do you feel about Sean asking your ex that? That seems like kind of a bittersweet question to me
Please please listen to what the others have said, listen and take their advice.
If you're not going to take their advice I don't see this thread going anywhere...
Short story is: Although it may not seem like it right now, you will get over this guy. I agree with Talaiporia, if he's causing you so much hurt then he really isn't worth your time anyway and you should stay away from him. There is more to life than just boys. Do you have any friends that you could go out and do things with? Or, as Talaiporia said, join a club of some kind?
i felt like i couldnt breath, like i was being torn appart, bruning from the inside out, i could feel my heart beating. i now hate the child locks on the pill bottles, i couldnt get the stupid cap of, then my mate walked in and took it off me,
im speaking to sean tomorrow about what my ex said, i wanna know if hes lying or not, and what hes gunna say to me
Last edited by SayYou'llBeMyNightingale : 13-01-2013 at 05:28 PM.
I still think the world would be better off without me Some people, when they hit rock bottom, they dont have that person in their lives to pick them back up The mirror can lie, it doesnt show you whats on the inside. I dont think im fixed, people think that your like a car in a body shop, you go in, they fix you and your out, you work like your brand new, it doesnt work like that at all Sometimes i dont understand my self. Im not strong enough and im tired of pretending i am.
I still think the world would be better off without me Some people, when they hit rock bottom, they dont have that person in their lives to pick them back up The mirror can lie, it doesnt show you whats on the inside. I dont think im fixed, people think that your like a car in a body shop, you go in, they fix you and your out, you work like your brand new, it doesnt work like that at all Sometimes i dont understand my self. Im not strong enough and im tired of pretending i am.
Ashlee, I'm sorry you're feeling so unhappy. Overdosing, taking pills, isn't a good idea. It makes you feel really poorly and that's just going to make more problems, like worried mum and dad and teachers.
Have you thought any more about joining a club or hobby to distract yourself?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I still think the world would be better off without me Some people, when they hit rock bottom, they dont have that person in their lives to pick them back up The mirror can lie, it doesnt show you whats on the inside. I dont think im fixed, people think that your like a car in a body shop, you go in, they fix you and your out, you work like your brand new, it doesnt work like that at all Sometimes i dont understand my self. Im not strong enough and im tired of pretending i am.
Maybe not now, but it's worth trying some things out.
If you sit at home, you'll just think about him and be unhappy.
If you go out and join a club, maybe you'll start to enjoy it.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Just want to say thanks for that link. I actually cried a little listening to it, because that's exactly the kind of thing I want someone (that I know offline) to say to me, but nobody ever does...
~Hiding Amaranth
"Just because you know my name
Doesn't mean you know my game"
~Marina & The Diamonds - "The Outsider"
