can someone please make it easier for me and show me where to go and who to turn to.. or tell me what i should do because its getting me down so much right now and to be honest it isnt fair
why am i the one to pick up the pieces when it goes wrong for you
you dont want to know unless your struggling and then you expect me to be there how do you think that makes me feel
someone please just make it all stop
x
each person brings something new to the world.. all i bring is my smile and thats all i need
I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail tomorrow, I requested an extension far too late and I need to provide evidence by tomorrow, my deadline. I've fucked Uni up again and I can't bare to disappoint you, let alone tell you.
I'm lonely as feck, but too scared to do anything about it.
I wish I was you. I wish I had your confidence your personality, your amazing friends. And I hate that I'm jealous of you cause it makes it hard to be as nice to you as you deserve. Sorry.
You asked if I was excited that you were coming home & I had to lie & say yes. I wish I was. I usually am. I usually love it when you're here, but right now I need the little routine I have - I need to be able to do what I like, when I like, & you disturb that somewhat when you're around. Getting up in the morning has been hard enough lately without having to get up & leave you in the bedroom asleep. It'll be even harder once le mother breaks up for Christmas too & I'm the only fucker having to get up and leave the house early. & I get NO privacy when you're around - you feel free to wander in to grab something or ask me something when I'm in the bath.. & I wouldn't mind if I wasn't going to have to be covering my arms and legs and.. ARGH. You're going to notice that I'm in long sleeves ALL the days and nights & then we'll have to have some sort of awkward conversation about it & I just want to be left alone right now with my craziness. & on top of that you'll get back tonight & moan that we're not Christmassy, that we've not even put a tree up - but in truth, you're the only one who can be bothered this year. We'd quite happily sit with a microwave meal and some telly on Christmas day to avoid all the stress and unnecessary spending/effort..
Maybe you being here will be awesome, will cheer me up, but.. Right now it's just a scary prospect.
Am glad you're bitching about them. I can't stand them and am just relieved that it's sort of justified.
One thing about this wedding talk is your eagerness to fuck him. And his too. It makes me a bit squicky but y'know am happy for you. Just can't help but wonder if you even remember touching me when we were little. Do you remember me lying there stiffly as you did what you wanted? Meh. We'll never know. Happy for you though. So much. I hope he treats you well.
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
I want to be there for you. Yet i can't be and that's all on me. I wish i could make you see that you mean the world to me. I'm sorry i can't be what you need right now.
*There is always light at the end of the tunnel, even though we may not be able to see it.*
I feel my whole family hates me... Everyone enjoys telling me off. To the point where I'm triggered. Cause I'm not good enough. I can't be the prefect kid, the perfect sister. And I'll never be.
Genuinely don't know what to do. I'm gradually losing my grip on everything so it makes sense to start from the ground up, but what if it's the wrong choice? Then I'll have nothing left. Tell me what to do.
Maybe it's not just me...maybe I think I'm failing when I'm not, and everyone else is in the same boat so I should just suck it up and approach it with the confidence that I used to. Argh.
i can't do this much longer it is getting very very difficult, i am trying my darn best with it, but, please, someone, anyone, see past the smile and, help!
I'm in a boat that is sinking adn i am struggling and ready to break in two and not do anything with my life
it's getting too difficult
"pretty pretty please dont you ever ever feel like your less than less than perfect"
"Don't ever change, you're perfect the way you are" only a PM away for ANYONE
Gem [smurfette] is my little sister and my princess <3
R.I.P. Keith....31/10/12....forever missed
R.I.P. Lewis....18/01/13....forever I'll love you, forever missed
B, these lyrics remind me of your fiancé:
Daddy I’ve fallen for a monster
Somehow he’s scaring me to death
Ah yes he is
He’s big and he’s bad
I love him like mad
Mamma he’s the best I ever had
Daddy I’ve fallen for a monster
He got a black heart
Hey, I'm sorry I texted you that long paragraph in November and I'm sorry I didn't give you the chance to respond. I can only hope you understand why I'm rejecting you this time, I hope I got the message across and I hope you'll get through this winter without me. I'm not giving you anything for Christmas, or your birthday - and the one message that did get through to me only depresses me further. I know I shouldn't feel as guilty as I do, but what else should I feel when you told me, over and over again, what you really thought of me? Did you ever rethink your choices? Did you actually see past your own nose?
Sorry, again. I'm not going to have the slightest contact with you unless you're dying, and even then, I'll be bringing my closest ones. You're no longer part of my family. I'm building my own life on the ruins of what you put me through and I won't let you tear me down.
Everything you need is around you.
The only danger is inside you.
So punch another pillow, to make the pain a little less.
And run another race, to make the pace a little faster.
Use another knife, to make the cut a little deeper.
Then shed another tear, to make reality a little truer.
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