First off, I'm sorry if this seems like it's all over the place, although much like my thoughts atm. I just really feel like I need some support and I'm unsure of who to speak to. I've had a lot happen in the past few months and they've been the most difficult of my life. I've spent time in hospital as an inpatient after breaking down completely, I've moved house twice, my family split up and moved different places and it seems like I'm going to have to get a new job. I don't want to get stuck in a cycle of self pity, life's just thrown a lot at me lately. I don't feel like I'm 'progressing' in terms of normal standards, it just makes me feel like a failure. I try hard to not compare myself to other people since everybody's circumstances are different and more importantly it's your life but I see people around me getting on great and then there's me, in the same place, still struggling like hell with mental health issues.
I find it hard to imagine a future. I find myself thinking of death and suicide constantly although I don't feel like I can tell anybody as I don't want to go in to hospital again, it'll just make things much worse. Anybody who's stayed in a psychiatric ward knows what it's like and how institutionalised it can make you feel rather than helping with recovery.
I've tried hard to put negative emotions in to positive energy such as studying for my NVQ's (although I had to sign off of due to being unwell and never went back on), weight training and dieting and taking up a sport which I'm finding very hard to continue.
I just wonder if there's anybody out there who feels like I do or has felt like I do and got through it. I normally manage to get through things but my general confidence is rock bottom right now, I don't know how many times more I can pick myself up. I'm normally good with words and advice but I have no idea what to do, so I'm sorry if this is hard to reply to. I'd appreciate any replies and support.
Everything passes, everything changes. Just do what you think you should do.
Hey there,
I'm sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. Do you have any doctors or professionals you're seeing at the moment that you could talk to?
I don't think this is the same, but almost four years ago I dropped out of uni (from being a straight-A student) and I didn't think I would ever recover, but four years down the line, I have. When you're stuck in the midst of a depressive episode - however long it lasts - it can seem like you'll never get out, and every way you turn, you're still drowning. But things do get better. And I know it's easy to say "give it time", but time will fix this. Things will get better.
You can keep picking yourself up, and you will be okay.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Thanks for replying. I do have a doctor I see every 2-3 weeks, yeah. I'll have to have a good chat with her when I see her next week. It's a lot of frustration feeling as though any potential you have is overshadowed by MH issues. I'm glad you were able to pick yourself up btw.
Everything passes, everything changes. Just do what you think you should do.
I think people with MH problems have more potential, because they have seen the truly dire part of life, and they still managed to keep on going. It's a lot harder for them than people who find it easy to be happy and their idea of a bad day is if they run out of coffee.
You'll get there in the end, and when you do, it'll be even more worth it.
I think people with MH problems have more potential, because they have seen the truly dire part of life, and they still managed to keep on going. It's a lot harder for them than people who find it easy to be happy and their idea of a bad day is if they run out of coffee.
You'll get there in the end, and when you do, it'll be even more worth it.
Thanks ever so much. I've always thought that people with MH problems are able to see life from a very different angle. Although I titled the thread 'progression', progression isn't always related to noticable things. In reality I probably am progressing, it's just not in a way that's recognisable to people around me (e.g. moving up in career, etc).
Everything passes, everything changes. Just do what you think you should do.
And your completely right. I guess you've got to think, if you're not still inpatient in a hospital, then it's a little bit better. If you can make yourself tea, then it's a little bit better. If you can force yourself to have a shower, then it's a little bit better. Etc.
It's the small things that matter at the moment, so just focus on those, then when you have that down, you can focus on the huge life-long things like a career and family etc.
Thanks again for the kind words (helpful words too). You're completely right. Things have been worse than this, I'm out of hospital now and it's step by step rebuilding. Although it's a struggle I'm doing the best I can.
Everything passes, everything changes. Just do what you think you should do.
