In my personal life right now it feels no one will understand and accept my reality, now it feels thats being stopped here too not that it was happening much anyway.
Nobody in life really understands my position or wants to.Not all situations are the same.
What is it that you don't feel RYL understands, and how does that relate to banning suicide notes?
What is it that you don't feel RYL understands, and how does that relate to banning suicide notes?
i have no problem with barring suicide notes.In fact in my eyes these were barred years ago.If not they should have been.
i probably shouldnt have posted here and am not willing to comment further on my personal situation much because i have already been in intensive care recently for an overdose and am not in the best place right now so i think getting into further discussion could be dangerous.
Sorry i should probably not have posted but this thread upset me.Sometimes people may feel or fear they are very likely to die by suicide in the future whether imminently planning it or not.They can still take help and advice and yes im sure try and make things better but whey should they have to hide what they still fear the ultimate outcome may well be [be it days away, weeks, months, years or never happen].Why should people here have the right to say it is wrong to talk about those thoughts and fears?
And maybe also to talk about any plans or thoughts that may be going through their mind [whether they actually end up carrying them out or not].Maybe it would help a person just to talk and maybe im in the minority but id rather know and worry than not know at all.
RYL is becoming a place where you can say barely anything anymore unless it is positive or so broad and unclear you can basically say nothing.Even makes me scared to post now when im desperately in need of support after my recent intensive care admission but how would i cope with posting with this type of backlash just for having for suicidal thoughts for thinking it may happen in the future - be it days, weeks, months or not at all.
How could i risk posting.im trying my best but nobody would see that,theyd just pick on the other stuff and the answers would prob tip me over the edge.i thought RYL was a place people could come to discuss things which might not always be comfortable discussing elsewhere just cos of how society is.And part of that for me is that i might survive, i might not.And some if the time i might have plans or imight not.Some times i might not even want to be stopped but still why should i have to be alone?My personal situation which im not discussing further here is not totally my fault.Its not my fault it could go either way and i might have disturbing thoughts and may or may not carry them out.Why shouldnt i have support either way?Why should i have to be alone?im trying to recover, just cos i might not succeed and might be bad and fail and die why should i be picked out, hated upon.Dont people already think i feel badly enough about myself, about that i might not make it.Without people making threads of this nature.
Just to say no disrespect to anyone but as this thread is upsetting me i wont be coming back to it.
i fear the thread was aimed at people like me - people who actually may well actually try their best, are trying their damnest with help and support and like my care team are saying are actually making huge steps forward but just cos i still fear suicide may be the ultimate ending for me cos i wont be able to make things better enough it seems unacceptable to talk about this reality anywhere - this board,my care team and people in general in life.i may be selfish and i already know im bad but this is disgusting and wrong.Leaving me on my own just because its uncomfortable.How do people think i feel to be in the situation where i might live/i might die?How do people think it feels for me that this really could go either way and nearly did the other day?Do they think its easy?Do they think its easy being me?Do they think i enjoy it?How do you think it feels wondering what death is like all the time, wondering if your gonna be here?i know i will for now cos im not doing anything unless its planned but i dont know how long i'll make it or maybe i'll never suicide at all.But why should it be wrong to talk about these fears or if plans do come up?If my situation isnt totally my fault and in my case my suicide may actually be better for others too why should i have to be alone?
Despite my trying my hardest to improve it is not my fault that suicide is still a likely outcome eventually in reality.That may make me bad but it is not my fault and im sick and tired of being in fact 'blamed' for that by people either shunning it, not voicing it as a reality or making threads like this both here and everywhere else in life or more importantly actually having that true fact ignored totally everywhere.Especially when im trying so hard why shouldnt people accept my reality too and let me be allowed to talk about it.Yes im trying my best, yes i might live but i might die too.How do people think i feel about that if its hard for you to hear?
im trying so hard to get better yet i know theres a high chance ultimately i wont get better enough to stop my suicide.That is my situation.Yes im bad but thats not just my fault - its just how things are.im not going to go into detail about my situation here further.
For people on RYL and outside to deny that reality when im trying so hard to get better and as my care team say making such steps i think is disgusting.
i think its disgusting that we cant talk about the other side of my feelings openly and what process i may be going through inside just like we can the other stuff when its positive.
Why should i have to be alone with the suicide stuff just cos its uncomfortable with people?im doing my damnest to get better but i think to say that people cant talk on here or in real life about the chance that they might not survive in such situations and how that feels for them inside despite them doing theie damnest to living but knowing it probably wont be enough is wrong.
But its the way of the world.
As this thread is upsetting me i wont be coming back to it.i hope people can understand that.
xx xx
Last edited by Sleepless123 : 11-10-2012 at 01:33 PM.
Reason: To add a bit
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
no one is saying dont talk about suicide, or suicide plans or suicidal thoughts, they are saying it is rather unfair to name exact dates of when you are planning to do the deed.
I can understand what you're saying Cath, however, I don't think it's fair to say that RYL is becoming a place where you can't say anything unless it's vague or positive.
You are allowed to post saying you are suicidal, you are allowed to post saying that you feel hopeless, you're allowed to discuss the morality of suicide and you're allowd to post saying that you're feeling unsafe and are worried that you may impulsively end your life.
This thread is simply about people who post saying "I have bought the spoons/pills/rope with which I will end my life, which I will be doing in three days time at quarter past 5".
Even if you have got a plan and a date, I don't see why it's necessary to include method/date in a post asking for help. It's about getting a compromise between allowing people to receive support and not putting unnecessary strains on members.
Say for example I was planning to off myself. I think there'd be a few close friends on here who would want to know my plans, and I would be within my rights to tell them my plans via an alternative medium, but posting my plans on a public forum, where there's hundreds of people who can see it but have no means of preventing me is unfair.
If people are 100% set on plans for suicide, then nothing will change that and I see absolutely no point in posting about it.
If someone does post, it is presumably because they are not 100% set on it, and thus it does not need to be phrased as "I'm going to kill myself tomorrow", more "I'm contemplating suicide".
I can't shake the feeling that I'm a big reason this rule was put into place...
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
I really wish people would stop being so paranoid. It is based on numerous amounts of threads with the same issues.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I really wish people would stop being so paranoid. It is based on numerous amounts of threads with the same issues.
Um, I did have an "exact date" set for almost a solid year so I really don't think it's out of line to think that had something to do with this thread. I don't think I'm being paranoid. I'm just making an observation.
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
I think this thread is meant to be more generalised, rather than picking out specific threads. Really, it isn't too hard to think that you shouldn't write a date of when you want to kill yourself because you might upset other people. You can still say "I feel like killing myself" and can gain support from that. It's not particularly important whether this thread is about you or not, it's about thinking how having a date can make the people helping you feel like their efforts are futile. It's not out of line to ask people to consider others, even though they feel so utterly terrible that they want to kill themselves.
Ultimately, RYL is a pro-recovery website, so nobody can condone a specific date. We will try to help and support but it's harder with a date set.
Um, I did have an "exact date" set for almost a solid year so I really don't think it's out of line to think that had something to do with this thread. I don't think I'm being paranoid. I'm just making an observation.
Well its not that case.
It is irritating that people assume we see one thread and then decide to make a rule because of them. This was numerous threads on RYL.Its not an observation when youre assuming its about threads you have made. Its an opinion that you could have easily PMd the mods about and asked if it had anything to do with your thread.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
It is irritating that people assume we see one thread and then decide to make a rule because of them. This was numerous threads on RYL.Its not an observation when youre assuming its about threads you have made. Its an opinion that you could have easily PMd the mods about and asked if it had anything to do with your thread.
SO MUCH THIS it hurts. If you fear something is directed at you, PM the mods. They'll be able to give you an honest answer. But 99.9% of the time it's a combination of a number of threads from a number of posters. That's how things roll, and that's ok.
It is irritating that people assume we see one thread and then decide to make a rule because of them. This was numerous threads on RYL.Its not an observation when youre assuming its about threads you have made. Its an opinion that you could have easily PMd the mods about and asked if it had anything to do with your thread.
I didn't assume it was JUST because of me I simply assumed I was a part of it. Again, I had an "exact date" set for almost a solid year. You can't tell me that didn't play a role in this rule coming about. I'm not saying mine was the only one but it was clearly one of them.
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
I can't shake the feeling that I'm a big reason this rule was put into place...
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainB2
You can't tell me that didn't play a role in this rule coming about. I'm not saying mine was the only one but it was clearly one of them.
You probably were one of the many cases which led up to this rule being made. But you probably weren't a 'big reason'.
What do you want people to say? Rule changes tend to occur as a result of recent threads and conversations on the forum [so by definition, as a result of people's comments]. What's the big deal?
You probably were one of the many cases which led up to this rule being made. But you probably weren't a 'big reason'.
What do you want people to say? Rule changes tend to occur as a result of recent threads and conversations on the forum [so by definition, as a result of people's comments]. What's the big deal?
Nothing, I just feel kinda guilty knowing this is partially my fault. I mean, based on this thread, it seems like people with dates in their threads have caused an extra amount of distress for others. I just feel guilty knowing I contributed to that.
I don't know, I guess it's not a big deal, I've had a rough 24 hours and am on the verge of suicide once again. Give me a break. I'm not thinking clearly.
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
Its a good rule, that has come out of it. Nobody is blaming anyone, it was a subject that has been brought up by many people pertaining to many situations that have occured recently. If you made a date a year ago, it can't have been one of the most 'relavent' cases anyway since the discussion did not start a year ago.
Anyway, what I am waffling about is; its a good thing come out of it, so I'm not sure why people still feel so bad about it [I get why/paranoia/worrying, but there is no need for anyone to feel to blame].
I don't feel guilty about the rule. Obviously, as has been discussed on this thread, it's a good rule. I just feel guilty knowing how I've caused distress for others with my "deadline." I didn't realize having a set date could make people feel worse. I stuck to that date for a long time and only decided against it about a month ago.
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
Everyone causes some distress to another at some point and only until you realise can you be expected to change, I am sure if any distress had been caused, the people who know you would understand it was not intentional and that you wouldn't have meant to make anyone feel worse. You don't have to defend yourself, at least, I don't think you need to.
I reiterate that this is just clarifying the rules in a way that wasn't previously clear. It is not a rule following a post by one particular member and whilst some members may feel distressed or guilty if they have posted in this way now it is in the past and as such the fact that you are alive is a very positive thing!
Im shattered but yes!
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
