cause for concern or paranoia: how do you know?

[bright.side.of.life]

hey all,

im in recovery for anorexia with bulimic tendencies and have been doing really well over the last 8months, gained lots of weight and was ok with it too. everyone keeps telling me how good i look and how healthy i am, and my girlfriend keep saying how proud she is of me etc. but lately ive been under a lot of stress and ive noticed some of the signs coming back.

but i wondered whether anyone else struggles to see the line when it comes to eating disorder behaviour? i mean my illness has always made me question everything, at first it made me question whether i was really ill or if everyone was making something out of nothing, then it made me question my own views and opinions about my size and my weight (making me wonder if i was really ill). then when i realised i was ill and needed to sort it out it seemed like a constant struggle with myself as part of me didnt believe it. well now i feel like im back there again. are these things im experiencing cause for concern or are they just normal behaviours? am i losing grip on reality again or am i over reacting?

does anyone know how to see where the line is? how do i determine what these signs might or might not mean? does anyone else have this issue or am i alone in it?

any advice here would be useful, im contemplating talking to my girlfriend about it but i want to make sure theres an issue before i let her down again. but i know that if this is a relapse then i need to act quickly.

thanks,

Row

[bright.side.of.life]

i could really do with some advice quickly, before i have to talk to my girlfriend about it... please.

[bright.side.of.life]

ok, so now im really starting to struggle. ive started to restrict again and i know im doing it but i cant seem to be able to stop myself. seeing my doctor tomorrow but could really do with some support right now :(

[_Faint_]

Sorry that things are so hard for you
please tell your dr what is going on he/she can hopefully help you
id say it is a cause of concern that you are restricting and engaging in ed behavours

[bright.side.of.life]

you know with EDs how they make you question everything:

am i really ill?
am i over reacting?
am i really fat or thin?
what reality is and whats in your head

its really confusing me, i dont know if im just being silly. maybe im making something out of nothing... or maybe im making excuses... but i dont know which one it is... grrrr

[Imamotherfudgingpirate]

I'm sorry to hear that :( I would talk to your girlfriend, you haven't let her down! but it's better to talk to her sooner rather than later, it would be easier to tackle the situation.

I hope things are okay, I hope it went well with the doctor!c:

[bright.side.of.life]

thanks, i spoke to my girlfriend about it and she was surprisingly good about it. it really helped. unlike talking to my psych today who just gave me all the really obvious coping strategies that you might hear from an unqualified friend. she was useless. really basic things that could help, but its all stuff ive tried before that hasnt worked. she didnt seemed worried about it at all, so maybe it is in my head?

[Imamotherfudgingpirate]

I'm glad your girlfriend took it well and that it helped!c:

Maybe it is, but maybe it isn't. Maybe the psych isn't worried cause it isn't so much a huge issue yet D: like medically, I mean. But here is a hug *hug*.

[bright.side.of.life]

thanks. i think im just going to see what happens...

[Imamotherfudgingpirate]

I think that's a good idea c: