Spoon Theory

[[Purple_Rain]]

And not the rusty kind. If you haven't heard of it, you need to read this.

Edit: Sam pointed me towards some gorillas, which are an appropriate subject.

[Tig]

I read this before and found it really helpful :) x

[Buttons.]

That's amazing.

[LozzyGirl]

That's pure genius. I don't have the illness that the woman mentioned in this, I have never even heard of it if I'm honest, but I'm sure as hell gunna google it now. But this could also be used to explain mental health.
Pure genius.

[Mrs Sam]

That's a really good explanation of things.

[MunchBox]

Read it before but I enjoyed reading it again.

[Mrs Sam]

Also see: The Gorilla in your house

[[Purple_Rain]]

Spoon theory is very good at explaining a lot of things besides lupus. I'm not well right now, and having to stay with my parents. My parents, my brother, my girlfriend and I talk about spoons a lot now :P

Sam, I added some gorrillas to my first post, thank you for pointing that out to me, it's a good read.

[random.swirls]

:) I've heard about it but never read it before

Xox

[Rodolphus]

I talk about my Spoons all the time! I find it incredibly helpful with dealing with my physical health and learning to pace my lifestyle better :)

The Spoon Theory is a good one :)

[makedamnsure]

I wasn't a huge fan the first time I read it. But right now it makes sense to me. Today I used up all my spoons getting myself to Uni and then did no work when
I got there coz I had no spoons left :(

[whirlpools]

I really related to the gorilla analogy, and imagine The Spoon Theory is a good representation of disability.

[Pi.R^2]

I have heard Marie talk about it before and remember thinking it seemed legit.

Unfortunately as an enthusiastic spoon collector I got too over-excited at the prospect of being handed a bouquet of spoons and was unable to continue reading the article :')

[Pi.R^2]

I've actually now read this, and I kind of disagree with it a little. Mainly this assumption, which underpins the theory

Quote:

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions.

Now I am neither mentally nor physically ill, yet I would not say my spoons are unlimited. I have to make judgements based on time, energy, money and my own needs. I am not ill, but I still need to take note of my body's limitations and nurture it. And as a friend, carer, partner, QK-organiser, daughter, bill-payer, student and rent-payer, I have to exercise great caution as I go about my daily business taking heed of my responsibilities and expectations made of me. I doubt very much that there is anyone who does not have to consider the effect of their actions.

I'm not trying to make out that being physically and/or mentally is is not challenging and draining, but the Spoon model seems to place unreasonable expectations of ease of living in 'healthy' people. It might work better to consider illnesses such as Lupus as reducing the number of spoons available to an individual, instead of saying that 'normal' life provides unlimited spoons.

[[Purple_Rain]]

I think by 'effect of their actions' she doesnt mean the effect of say, blowing all your money gambling and not beign able to pay rent. It's mroe the little things most people are able to do without thinking about it, compared to people with certain illnesses and disabilities having to plan for those little things.

The authour does not acutally say unlimited spoons, just 'energy to do whatever they desire' - they want to go for a walk, they can. Other people, not so much. She also said 'unlimited possibilities' because that is what most people have. There are so many variations of what can happen in a day that the possibilities are unlimited (excluding the laws of physics and money etc). i dont think she means get up and decide to run a marathon with zero training because that is unrealistic. Whereas people with disabilities and illnesses cannot do things which are completely realistic to healthy people.

[Pi.R^2]

Yeah, I do see your point, and I think in general it's a helpful model. I just found it a little patronising of 'healthy' people. I know I slightly selectively misinterpreted 'effect of their actions', but I think that healthy people just have different and not necessarily less important considerations to make. A healthy person may not have to consider so much the impact on themselves in terms of expending spoons on getting dressed, cooking dinner etc, but the weight of the consequences of them not getting dressed and going out to work and coming home to cook dinner can often [but categorically not always!] be greater. I cannot think of a more sensitive way to phrase this, but when the state functions properly, people with very limited spoons also have reduced responsibility in terms of receiving DLA and other benefits, to balance the spoon deficit so to speak.

Like I say, I'm not dismissing the theory, just saying how it comes across to me as a healthy person who feels like she also has very limited spoons to juggle!

[Bellatrix]

^ concur with Jenna actually.

It's a bit like getting replacement forks. Like - for example - I have limited spoons in terms of being able to work, but the government aides me in my functioning by giving me replacement forks in the form of DLA to counterbalance the effects the lack of spoons due to illness has on me.

[The Stolen One]

Zed pointed me to this and I found it really useful, I've shown it to my brothers as well when trying to help them understand my physical health problems and one of them often asks me if I'm out or nearly out of spoons so he understands how bad or not I am. Very helpful :)

[Leo Pard]

I <3 the spoon theory.

[[Purple_Rain]]

I understand your points, but I disagree with your faith in 'the system' - it works a lot less than it should.

Quote:

but the weight of the consequences of them not getting dressed and going out to work and coming home to cook dinner can often [but categorically not always!] be greater

i also disagree with that. people who are healthy and work can take days of work (either holiday or real/claimed sickness), without consequences (unless they bunk off a lot then that's their own fault). Someone who is ill doesnt have that option because they need to save their days off for times they can't get out of bed. Also someone will an illness kipping a meal has a very different effect to someone who is healthy skipping a meal.

I still think the point of the article was that people who are ill have to think about whether they can afford the energy it takes to do these things, compared ot healthy people who don't have to consider that because they have enough energy.