When youre SA or raped... does that ean you lose your virginity. im in high school n a lot people have ask if theyve lost their virginity yet. Never knew what to say and still dont... Does being SA lose your virginity?
Thanks.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
I didn't count getting raped as losing my virginity. Biologically/physically yes it was but mentally i didnt count it and if people ever asked i said i was still a virgin. It helped me metally to tell myself i was still a virgin and could give it away to someone I chose
Virginity is something only you can give away. There are no physical signs of virginity or not-virginity, and there is no biological basis for it. So it's up to you to decide who you give your virginity to, because it's up to you what sex means for you, how important the person is to you, etc. If you don't want to count it, you don't have to.
I did not count it, for me. I consider myself to have given my virginity to my current girlfriend, not those who abused me. Hope this answers your question :).
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I have learned that the world is not a safe place. Not at all. But there are so many people who love me and want to keep me safe. And that is enough.
It really depends on your definition. According to my boyfriend, I hadn't lost my virginity when I was abused. According to me, I don't know. According to my mom, I lost my virginity a long long time ago.
I would say that you should pick the answer that you're the most comfortable.
Personally, I would suggest that you say you hadn't lost it, because of the social part of virginity. You haven't chosen to have sex. You weren't really a participant.
Someone more science-y correct me if I'm wrong here...
I think biologically 'virginity' is related to the breaking of one's hymen. Which is actually a pretty random membrane present to different extents in different women. It could be broken the first time someone has sex within a loving relationship or when a child is a victim of sexual violence, or during vigorous exercise such as gymnastic or horse-riding, and I'm pretty sure no one's ever claimed they lost their virginity whilst horse-riding! It can also be stretched as opposed to broken and in some women it can be broken multiple times. And it gets a little more complicated when you get into the particulars of lesbian sex! So biologically, there's no real definition of virginity. Which leaves it up to you!
I agree with all mentioned here. This is a bit of a gray area with space for debate. I personally chose to think that what happened to me (SA) is not losing virginity, since it was violence and I was not a willing participant in it. However it took a lot of convincing from my current boyfriend for me to realize that SA is violence that has very little to do with being with someone.
Moreover my actual first time with my boyfriend at the time was very close chronologically to when I was raped, and so for the longest time I blocked out the fact that the rape was before losing my virginity...but there were strong fact indicators that I couldnt ignore, that put the date of the rape before...the mind has a very strong ways to protect us from what we can't handle.
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"It's astonishing, numbing, to find out that inside you, there is a stranger. One that has your arms, your legs, your eyes. A sleepless, restless stranger, who keeps walking, keeps eating, keeps living..." The Brave OneMovie(2007)
thank you all. i choose i havent lost my virginity then. but i probly have cause im a slutty whore. i really am. i dont do it for money though. i do it for other reasons.
but thank you al for the responses. it was helpful and made me feel better some bout the whole situation. thank you.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
