I'm not sure if this is the right place to post- STD related
But I'm going to post it here for the time being. I actually don't want to post the whole thing here open in the public, so could someone who knows about STDs please message me? I really need advice and help asap...greatly appreciated.
Im guessing your posting as you think you may have one? If thats the cas then you really do need to get tested asap.
No.
This is what my issue is, I'm just afraid of getting judged:
I've never been in a situation like this before so I don't know what to do. I've been hanging out with my friend for a while...we were making out last week and things got hot and we were about to have sex, but then he said "I have to be honest, I have an STD"...I said I couldn't do it right then, but maybe in the future. We've been hanging out a lot and I actually like him, a lot...he told me we would obviously use protection, but does that even protect you all the way? He told me after what he had, it's herpes, which isn't curable, if I'm correct? I've just always been so paranoid about getting something, I always get tested after each person I have sex with just in case. I really really want to have sex with him, but I'm not sure if I should. I'm scared. I know people have denied him because of it, and I wouldn't even think about doing it if it was just a hookup buddy, but I actually really like him. It makes him really really sad, I know that. He feels bad enough having it. His ex had cheated on him and that's how he got it, it's really a sad story. But I don't want to get anything. I don't know what to do! :(
No one will judge you, its life after all and most people here dont judge :)
But in answer herpes is something you do have for life, its the same with the herpes virus that causes cold sores, once you have it in your system you will always get cold sores. With genital herpes even if you do use a condom it will not be 100% effective to to the fact that there can be lesions around that area that obviously don't get covered by a condom. I think before you make any desicions you would be better speaking to a sexual health clinic as they will be able to provide you with all the risks and the best way to prevent things.
I will also report this to get moved to the first aid section as you may get better replies there.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
No one will judge you, its life after all and most people here dont judge :)
But in answer herpes is something you do have for life, its the same with the herpes virus that causes cold sores, once you have it in your system you will always get cold sores. With genital herpes even if you do use a condom it will not be 100% effective to to the fact that there can be lesions around that area that obviously don't get covered by a condom. I think before you make any desicions you would be better speaking to a sexual health clinic as they will be able to provide you with all the risks and the best way to prevent things.
I will also report this to get moved to the first aid section as you may get better replies there.
Thank you. I have decided that I am going to wait a way longer time before I have sex with him (if I even do), because this is important stuff. I'm going to wait until we talk about it more and I trust him and my decisions fully. I don't want to mess myself up just because I thought it was a good idea at the time. I'm seeing him tomorrow, I'm going to talk to him about it at some point when things get heated, which they will lol. But I'm not going to dive right into sex or anything. We've only kissed and clothes-on touching so far, I am fine right now. But I'm definitely not going any further until we talk more and I know EVERYTHING. Damn...this is so difficult...I haven't liked anyone in a while, haven't found a nice guy in a while, and now this. >.> ahhh. :( Thanks for your input :)
Right, I've had a look at this and though it was wondered whether or not to move it to the First Aid Forum, and that was brought to my attention by the mods, I feel that right now it is best if it stays here. This is for a number of reasons; firstly I feel part of it is emotional advice or help, even if it's subconsciously, to come to a decision. Another reason is because though yep it's regarding an STD, you don't have it as of yet, you're just worried about getting it and so it doesn't neccessarily fit into the remit of the FAF. Also, thirdly, I thought I'd just answer it here. It was a close decision and it may be, Lauren, that you feel the FAF would be the best place for it but I'm going to leave that up to you as this is in the cross over between the 2 forums.
Right, Herpes is incurable but symptoms do come and go, usually worse at times of stress and illness. Also, as mentioned, condoms don't cover all the areas which may be affected and therefore won't totally protect you that way (and even if they did condoms aren't 100% effective anyway). If you decide to, and it is your decision, it is most contagious at times where the sores/ blisters are open and therefore avoid at times when that occurs. If you do happen to get it then antivirals can lessen the extent of the symptoms when they are at their worst but they also come with some side effects.
