Yes I do, but I do think you ate now just as much in the wrong as him, just because you where let down by him doesn't give you the right to attack him on FB. You seem to not understand that what you did can be seen as being a overeaction on your part. Ask yourself this, how would you feel if you had someone attack you over FB for not showing up to an unconfirmed meeting?
I have nothing else to say as we are going round in circles.
I think maybe it would be a good idea to learn to deal with the fact that others don't take things literary like you do. We are all different and have to accept that. If you feel let down then leave it for a while to calm down before reacting, because I think your reaction was a bit much. Can I ask, are you receiving any help for anger? I don't mean that in a bad way, but you are clearly dealing with a lot, caring for your mum, so is there someone you can talk to to help you through these feelings?
HE would then text/call me the next day to "Confirm"
Quote:
He didnt say he was NOT going so to me in my eyes he WAS.
I think that though plans had been made, they hadn't been confirmed. I can think of many cases in my life where events/plan had fallen through. I do not think there was anything 'set in stone', so the fact he hadn't replied should have been confirmation/an assumption that nothing would happen.
He didn't say he was going to go, he suggested it. It was always only a maybe. You made an assumption, and then blamed him for it.
It sounds like he was spending time with his son, which may have been why he couldn't make it - particularly as his son had had a fairly big life event that day. To be honest, I think he would have been more of a jerk if he'd dumped his son to have a few drinks with you, but you detracted from what should have been a very special moment for his son, who had nothing to do with this.
Quote:
I did what i did, i take full reponsibilty for it.
Taking full responsibility would mean letting this go, I feel, and moving on.
I know that you are very upset, but I don't feel that he has done anything wrong, as plans fall through (particularly when children are involved). But perhaps I've missed something.
Take care.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I dont think that will work as apparently most of us are out of order with our comments.
The truth is op i don't think you can handle disagreement and other peoples opinions on the situation, when you ask for opinions you are never going to get everyone agreeing with you.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I dont think that will work as apparently most of us are out of order with our comments.
The truth is op i don't think you can handle disagreement and other peoples opinions on the situation, when you ask for opinions you are never going to get everyone agreeing with you.
I Never said i wanted anyone or everyone agreeing with me on it, i wanted to rant all this out and to get feedback about it.
I can handle disagreement no probs ONLY if it's fair and constructive which for the most part it has been in this thread.
What kind of feedback are you looking for? Generally R/Vs are best if you just want to vent, otherwise General Support and Advice is good for feedback.
Have you found what you were looking for from this thread?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I think that though plans had been made, they hadn't been confirmed. I can think of many cases in my life where events/plan had fallen through. I do not think there was anything 'set in stone', so the fact he hadn't replied should have been confirmation/an assumption that nothing would happen.
"It sounds like he was spending time with his son, which may have been why he couldn't make it "
It does not take anyone 5 mins or less to send a quick text or fb message saying they couldnt make it
He didn't say he was going to go, he suggested it. It was always only a maybe. You made an assumption, and then blamed him for it.
It sounds like he was spending time with his son, which may have been why he couldn't make it - particularly as his son had had a fairly big life event that day. To be honest, I think he would have been more of a jerk if he'd dumped his son to have a few drinks with you, but you detracted from what should have been a very special moment for his son, who had nothing to do with this.
Taking full responsibility would mean letting this go, I feel, and moving on.
I know that you are very upset, but I don't feel that he has done anything wrong, as plans fall through (particularly when children are involved). But perhaps I've missed something.
Take care.
"It sounds like he was spending time with his son, which may have been why he couldn't make it "
It does not take anyone 5 mins or less to send a quick text or fb message saying they couldnt make it, He never at any point at all said it was a maybe or might not happen. If no one says to me specfically they are NOT going some where or cant make it then to me it's so obvious they ARE going.
"Taking full responsibility would mean letting this go, I feel, and moving on."
I admit my actions 100% and am endevouring to work through it of course.
yes but it does not feel like you are actually listening to what we are saying and taking it into consideration and thinking for example " i see everyone is saying i overreacted and was out of order, therefore i will learn from that". It seems to be "oh so you say i am in the wrong well i am not for this xyz reason".
If you feel any of our responses are valid then you should realise we are saying yes you have done wrong and over reacted in the future you should act maturely and walk away from the situation rather than ranting until you are noticed on fb by your friend.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
It does not take anyone 5 mins or less to send a quick text or fb message saying they couldnt make it, He never at any point at all said it was a maybe or might not happen. If no one says to me specfically they are NOT going some where or cant make it then to me it's so obvious they ARE going.
Yes he didnt turn up, most of us have had it happen to us at some point in life and yes you have a right to be annoyed. But its HOW you deal with it that counts, and you dealt with it in a childish way rather than just being the bigger person.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
yes but it does not feel like you are actually listening to what we are saying and taking it into consideration and thinking for example " i see everyone is saying i overreacted and was out of order, therefore i will learn from that". It seems to be "oh so you say i am in the wrong well i am not for this xyz reason".
If you feel any of our responses are valid then you should realise we are saying yes you have done wrong and over reacted in the future you should act maturely and walk away from the situation rather than ranting until you are noticed on fb by your friend.
I CAN AND DO see why you and other people say i overreacted, i can see where you are coming from.
BUT..
TO suggest the former friend is 100% blameless and innocent in all this is absurd.
Perhaps this was a confusion of social norms; you mentioned some trouble with that earlier, but at least in my group of friends, we would confirm, and an absence of confirmation means the event is not going ahead - maybe the person was ill, overslept, had work/uni.... etc... Or maybe we there are different "rules" in different groups.
In any case, what has happened has happened, and you can't change it. Perhaps it's worth apologising to this guy, and putting all of this behind you.
Have you found the answer you were looking for in this thread? I hope that it's been beneficial for you.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
OMG where have i said in my posts that he has done nothing wrong? I have already stated numerous times because of this you HAD A RIGHT to be annoyed.
He AT NO POINT in the conversation said anything to about he may not make it, to me the confirming thing was like a formaility kinda of thing to me .
Ok i apologise to you, i am starting to calm down a lot now and getting thi all off my chest and getting feedback HAS helped so i thank all of you who have responded to me.
