Tricky one. I voted 'other' because I can't bring myself to say that I'm glad I self harmed. I'm not. But I also don't regret it, at least not much.
I don't think it's a good way to deal with things, period. It has never kept me alive, it hasn't saved me. There are plenty of other ways of coping I could have chosen. Ways that would have helped more, and wouldn't have made things worse than they already were. I have scars all over my body, and while I've accepted them and I'm no longer ashamed, I'm never going to love them. I don't think that they tell any story or show that I've survived anything, other than that once, when I was younger, I made some mistakes. Some days I still feel awful about the fact that they're always going to be there, and even though people won't come right out and say anything, it will affect what they think of me. I do regret the pain and worry I caused people.
However, overall, I don't regret it. If I hadn't dealt with this stuff, I'd probably be a lot less compassionate, less able to be there for other people, I wouldn't have learnt so many of the things that I have. I wouldn't have found RYL, I wouldn't have met loads of amazing people.
At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. I did start, and I did continue, and then I stopped. I don't know what things would be like if I hadn't started. It's not important. All that really matters is what you've got now, and how you deal with things now. There's no point in regretting it.
I automatically wanted to say no, but then I thought it over and said other..
It has helped me get through a lot of things and made me the person that I am today, it has shown me who my real friends are and helped me to know myself better, but I still hate the scars on my arms and the looks people give me, my mother thinking that I am crazy and pathetic..
"Without innocence the cross is only iron, hope is only an illusion and Ocean Soul's nothing but a name.
The child bless thee and keep thee forever..."
Yes, i regret every single cut, every burn, every scratch mark
i wish i had learnt to cope in other ways, because 7years on and i'm still struggling with it and how to deal with my emotions in a better way
Yes, i do regret it, i wish i sorted out my problems earlier, rather then letting them get worse and just cutting to get me through it, if that makes any sense.
Other- It's helped me through some hard times and stopped me doing even stupider things. It's bought me a lot closer to friends and it started off a [mostly] fantastic 11 month relationship. But obviously it's not something I want to be doing forever and I'd in no way encourage anyone else to start.
No. It'd change my whole life if I hadn't started hurting myself, like my entire world, I'd turn out differently, I'd be in a different place, I'd have a different lifestyle, probbaly.
I also wouldn't have the knowledge and experience I've gained from being so low, or the understanding of thigns better.
I don't think I'd appreciate the good thigns so much if I hadn't started.
I said yes. The reason is because I look at my self-inflicted scars and it shows me how much pain I am/was in. Its not so much regretting this part of my life, because I believe everything happens for a reason. I just wish that this phase wasnt so visual.
When she lowers her eyes she seems to hold all the beauty in the world between her eyelids; when she raises them I see only myself in her gaze. - Unknown
if i had to do it all over again, i'd still cut...its just something that happened...i dont regret it. and im not ashamed....i dont try to hide it from the world...if they are gonna accept me, they will with scars and all. y'know? it is just that its something that i did and now i have to deal with it....no, i will never regret it. it has made me learn a lot about myself
in other traditions demons are expelled externally, but in my tradition demons are accepted with compassion. - Machik Labdron
they were perfect, they were beautiful. they met in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of nothing, and kissed where everyone could see. no words. no before. no after. they kissed and it was perfect. it was beautiful. it was everything. it was nothing.
My mom is always trying to find ways to 'help' me cover my scars. I calmly tell her that I don't want to cover them. I don't regret putting myself through what I did, it was a growing experience. I'm not necessarily proud of it but I will never be ashamed. No regrets.
Last cut: May 21...2006!!!
Sometimes you just have to go where life takes you.
otherwise i think i would have made sure my attampts to end my life were completed
its hard to say if life is a sad thing or a joy
because some look at it as rainbows and flowers
and some look at it as graves and funerals
because the horrible things will happen
but the great things will happen
it seems are attitudes define it more then the roads we travel
all I know is that I could look at is as a curse or a blessing
ether way its my choice to be positive or negative.
I 100% do not regret starting it was the only way i made it this far, it is what kept me alive and continues..as i work on my issues i will stop(hopfully). I am just over the regret, and see it as my survival tool that i learn to use to help me cope with what was going on with me around me and in my head
I put yes, but I think I probably should have put 'other'. I do regret making that first cut. I wish I hadn't because it's not a healthy way to deal with stuff. I wish I had the guts to ask for helps when I needed it, because asking for help doesn't make you weak.
At the same time, over the 6 years I have been SI-ing I have come to know myself better. I am more confident as a person, and I know that if I make it through this I can make it through anything. It's only now that I've learned that it is okay to ask for help. It's okay to have some of the feelings i have. It's okay to just be me. I still get triggered, and I have cut a couple of times in the past year, but I know I don't need it. And I know that I am a stronger for it. And even though I'm not completely through this I know I will be one day. I'm not confident with my scars yet, but I know in time I will be.
I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for me SI-ing. So in some way I'm glad I started, but at the same time I wish I didn't have to live with my scars forever.
like si is something that defines me. its something i carry with me and i think that with my array of knowledge on si and depression and abuse i have been able to be more compassionate with other people who seem to have similar situations (i helped a friend get helped). however, there are many times when i regret having ever started. while i dont do it all the time, at times of high stress and low feelings i only resort to si and am not able to figure out how to cope any other way. i think si has prevented me from feeling and prevented me from connecting with another person.
so its been a curse and a blessing.
"The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. "
I regret it, it's making my life so much more difficult. But at the same time, I don't regret it as it brought so many wonderful people and experience in my life.
.gif "bubblegum")
